A Question Of Love
by Rocks-my-socks
Summary: Nanowrite 07 Narcissa Black has graduated from Hogwarts first in her class. Long before she meets Lucius Malfoy on her first night in society, the question of her marriage is on her mind. As is the question of love...
1. The Slytherin Honour Student

**Revised**: Monday 21st June, 2010

**Disclaimer**: The Malfoy's are not mine, and neither are any other characters you recognize. Those you don't though, are mine.

Author note: this was my work for namowrite (I won!). I hope you like it.

**A Question Of Love**

_Chapter 1: The Slytherin Honour Student_

Narcissa Black woke up. Here she was on her last day of Hogwarts. She didn't quite believe it yet. The past year had gone so fast that she still felt as if she should be waiting to do her exams. But no. They were all done. There was only one thing left to do for her. And that was to graduate.

She was thoroughly looking forward to that.

All the family was going to be coming up to the castle. She had missed them awfully during that year. Whether she was a Black or not made no different to that fact she loved her mama, papa and sisters dearly.

Sisters.

If you asked anyone in her family as far as they were concerned now, she only had one sister and they would often say as well that was the way it had always been.

But she knew better. All of them knew better in fact. They just didn't like to admit it. And neither did she but secretly part of her longed for Andy to be there for her today. She missed the closeness she had had with her outcast sister. It seemezwas a difference between the closeness she had had with each of her sisters. And now the one with Andy was gone and she missed it.

That was only right she knew. After all they were completely different people, and of very different personalities. The way she had been able to talk to Andy, she wasn't ever going to be able to talk to Bella she was sure of it. But what she said to Bella she would have never dreamed of telling Andy.

Lifting herself out of bed, she looked around the old dorm room after she had pulled back the curtains that were about her.

The four girls about her were doing the same.

"You do realise?" Izzy asked them all from across the room. "This is the last time we are ever going to wake up together, the five of us?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Thank you for that ray of sun shine this morning, Izzy, but I don't think that is the right way to put. Ladies – we are graduating!"

Instead of the stunned silence that had taken hold of the room, a great cheering from the five of them came over the dorm room as they got up and raced down to the shower. This was the biggest day of their Hogwarts career after all. And as ladies of Slytherin house, they were all going to look the part.

Every single one of the girls had sorted there uniform out the night before, eager not to have top rush about in the morning. But of course, the nature of teenage girls was that that was going to be inevitable no matter how prepared they thought they were.

Going in to the bath room, Narcissa quickly washed clean her hair, brush her teeth and making sure she was utterly ready for the day before going back to the dorm room and get dressed in to her uniform for the very last time.

She sat down at the communal dresser and looked at herself. She had a pale complexion and long blonde hair. Her blue eyes were sparkling extra intensely that morning. Not that she said any of this to herself. All of her friends and family knew she was modest to a fault.

She quickly made her face up tastefully. Her father did not approve her wearing makeup yet. She was still his little girl in his eyes and she wanted to keep it that way. Just for a little longer anyway.

But no longer was that going to be an option. As soon as a Slytherin's girl left Hogwarts the dangerous game of courtship begun, at least for the upper class families of society, who all wanted their daughters to be married off respectfully to good gentleman.

Cissy was part of one such family.

She didn't really have any objections she guessed, not truly. This was the way she had been brought up. To her it had always been a fact of life that she was going to have to be pretty and charming and witty and then marry where she was told too. It was certainly nothing new.

She put on a neck lace she had received from her mother for her sixtieth birthday and then she put onher uniform.

The shirt she had put on was crisp from the wash and her tie was immaculately tied under her jumper. She looked like a true Slytherin graduate. So proud and tall. She was about to change from a girl to a women.

She just hoped she had the grades to match.

When the five girls were ready, they went in to the common where as tradition order where the rest of the house were waiting for them. They were cheered and clapped as if were home coming kings and queens.

Slughorn was there too. His walrus moustache was puffing, and he was bursting with pride.

"This is quite simply one of the finest years to pass out of Hogwarts under me during my time as head of Slytherin house. Congratulations to you all!" he declared. "I do not think anything else need be said."

Every one cheered in agreement. They could hardly disagree and put a downer on the day.

But in truth, they had been a very successful house year group. They had a couple of star Quidditch players which were going to be difficult to replace, Izzy was a great potions mistress and they had beauties like Cissy. What more did they need?

Within ten minutes after the house had congratulated them again they headed up to the Great Hall for breakfast early. The rest of the school had it late so it was just the year group there united for one lasted time.

Narcissa felt hyped wand as glad to see the Slytherin banner flying above their table, side by side with its brother flags that the four founders set up above the tables in the hall. She was so proud of her house and she had been since the day she was sorted there. She would never had wanted to be anywhere else.

Times like them were when you really appreciated it she thought to herself. The feeling that you had been part of something. And she had been. But that part of her life was soon to end.

Perhaps it was because it was going to be her last one but Cissy wanted breakfast to last that day. She treasured the taste of the jam and butter toast. She drunk her warm sweet tea slowly. It was just the way she liked it.

No one seemed in much eagerness to get to the passing out ceremony, considering they were meant to be leaving Hogwarts for the last time in a mere few hours. And Narcissa knew why. Even if it was run by an incompetent fool, this castle had been a home. All of them had friends here now. This was a place of safety to them when everything got too rough. And they knew what they were meant to be doing and how they were meant to be when they were at Hogwarts. The security and the guide that this place gave them all was like nowhere else ever had, for any of them.

Finally the ten Slytherins looked at each other.

"Are we ready?" asked Chris. He was meant to go to Durmstrang but his mother had run away from his father when he had been ten and so he had got to go to Hogwarts. Then she had been upset when he had got in to Slytherin. She herself had been a Gryffindor and was sure her boy was going to follow in her footsteps but it turned out she had been wrong and she never forgave him for being of the Serpent's house.

Over the years, the ten classmates had learnt everything there was to know about one another and they had never turned their backs one each other. Even if they were not unified with the rest of the school they were unified together and that had always been enough for them.

"Now," said Dumbledore as he got up off his chair. Narcissa watched as the Gryffindors looked in awe of him. They were such fools, she thought to herself.

"I am so sorry to say that we are never going to eat in this room all of us together again. Every young lady or man in this room has been a credit to our school and whatever you do now I whole heartedly hope you will always remember the days you spent here at Hogwarts with us!" He said to them.

At last, thought Narcissa said to herself. On the last day he said something worth saying.

She knew she was always going to keep the Hogwarts days in her heart. She was going to miss it. This home where she was surrounded by those who cared for her and who she loved in return.

It turn, the four houses lined up in single file left the hall, Slytherin going second out on to the field by the lake, where chairs had been magically set up. Of course, there were a lot of families already there. Narcissa was so relieved to see hers was among them. They were, as ever, on time. Probably well before.

Her aunt, uncle, mama, papa, sister and brother in law had all come to see her graduate.

She smiled to them warmly and they beamed back at her. She was their darling girl, always had been.

She sat between Izzy and Elizabeth. The three of them had started together and they were going to leave together.

The three girls had always been friends as long as they could remember, on account of their mother's friendship when they had been at Hogwarts. The two of them were extra sisters to Narcissa.

_But there still not Andy_, thought Narcissa to herself.

She shook the thought of the eldest Black sister out of her head. After all, no one had made her run out on her family when they had needed her most.

Why on earth should Cissy miss her now?

The sun was shining. It was the most beautiful day for it. She was so glad to go in some ways. Yes, she was ready. It was the right time for her to graduate.

The heads of the houses all made speeches during the ceremony again as traditional demanded. Each of them praised their own house for their hard work, achievements and friendship within their house and if they had shown interhouse unity (which was not so for the Slytherin's).

Dumbledore who was wearing mid night blue robes and his half moon glass clapped for all the houses equally, beaming at them all, clearly pleased with the turn out.

Then it came to time to praise the honour students. They had no idea who they were going to be. Those who had done out standing on the NEWTS or who had given exceptional service to the school when they had been there got the honour student prize.

The Gryffindors honour student turned out to be Emily Longbottom who had done exceptional services to the school for their year. She had been a devoted students in potions and through it was now going to go on in to medicine to try and help curse diseases. Narcissa turned to see who she assumed was the girl's mother crying with pride.

The Ravenclaw honour student was Daniel Alan for his achievements in the field of charms. He was a smart git, she thought to herself. He had always been bit up himself though. She fully well knew that she was the pot calling the kettle black, but still. She had a reason to be. She was a Black. By the time it got to the Hufflepuff honour student she was not really listening, after all, what could they do that's was so great?

She occupied herself by looking about the grounds. She always had loved there beauty. It was even more beautiful than the day she had arrived. Or maybe because she was going to have to leave it she appreciated it more. She was really going to miss it. In the last few days she had taken a good few many long walks about the grounds in a way of saying good bye to them. But it was the right thing for her to move on from them now. She had a new chapter of her life to right. She kept telling herself that because it had to be the truth.

It was then that Izzy hit her arm.

"Ouch, what?" she asked in a whisper.

Everyone was clapping again. They were looking at her. Why were they looking at her?

"Cissy go on, go up!" she insisted.

Was she... but? No she couldn't be... But it was then it dawned on her _she was _the Slytherin honour student for that year. Her legs felt numb and heavy as she got up but as soon as she was up she resumed the grace she always carried herself with.

She didn't believe this. What on earth had she done that she was able to get honoured with the Slytherin honour student title.

She had needless to say not been expecting this.

Dumbledore had already read out what she had got it before she had been listening. She went up on to the stage with the others students. When she received her certificate she looked down at it, eager to know of her grand achievement.

"For exceptional progress in transfiguration, and for the best exam result from this subject that Hogwarts has ever seen in that subject."

"The best?" she whispered to herself.

"Well done." Said the Hufflepuff who was by her in the line up.

"Thank you."

"An honour student? Bloody hell, Cissy!" said Bella as the two sisters embraced. It felt so long since they had been together and it was at that moment that Andy really left her sisters head that day. No, she had Bella and that was what was important.

Narcissa had felt sick for Bella at times in the term when she had been down, they were so close. It was just knowing she was there to talk to was what she had missed. It was the security of that she had missed the most.

"I don't believe it either." she said to her in shock. The two girls were holding on to one another so tight, Cissy almost couldn't breathe.

"Oh my darling!" their father exclaimed as he came through to her. He had always been proud of her but she never remembered seeing him beam like this. His eyes were ablaze with joy because of her achievements.

"Papa," she said as she rushed out of Bella's arms and in to his embrace.

When she had been small she had _really _been his little girl in the sense it had been her he had seen excited when he had got in from work, she who had sat in his study while he was working and she who had thought he was a hero in his own right for the simple fact he was hers. Part of him longed to have those days back. She had been such an innocent, delicate little flower.

"I am so proud of you my girl – oh my girl. She has graduated, do you believe it my Bella?" he asked chuckling at his daughter's warmth.

"I don't think any of us can papa!" she smiled.

"No, maybe not. It is going to take some sinking in, isn't it? Come on, your mama wants to see you, my love," he said as he pulled both of his daughters close, one under each arm, kissing their foreheads.

Their father was the type of man that had always got in trouble with his wife for spoiling their girls, be it with presents or with his over flowing affection for them. But that day as the proud mother set eyes on her daughter there was nothing she could do but draw her in to a huge embrace of her own.

"My daughter, you don't know what it meant for us to see you up there today!" she said gently. Her affection was more restrained than there papa's but it was there none the less

"Thank you mama! I had no idea I was going to get it, it was such a shock." She said to her, taking hold of her mother's hand.

"Then it was a good one my Cissy!" she said to her.

The women who was usual so cool towards to her daughters had praised her. That was going to be enough to make her day.

"CISSY!" she heard a cry from behind her. It was of course Izzy and Elizabeth. They just like her had had no idea what she had achieved.

"I cannot believe you got it; we are so proud of you Cissy!" they said to her.

"Thank you so much," she said as they hugged.

"How did you pull it off?" asked Izzy.

"I have no idea." She mjshook her head.

It was then that Chris came over and congratulated her again on getting one of the highest honours any one could get on graduation.

He, of course, had no family there due to his mothers absents and his dad was away 'working'. He didn't seem to mind and assured the girls that he and his father were going to celebrate his graduation as soon as he returned from the business trip.

"Oh, have you seen Caroline's boyfriend?" he asked the girls.

"So they _are_ actually together?" checked Izzy.

No one could blame her. For the past two years, all they had heard was Lucius this and Lucius that, so much so that they all thought she had been lying. Of course, they had known of Malfoy when he had been at school himself but none of them had paid that much attention to him. Yes, he had been a handsome upper year student who any girl would have loved to date but it was hardly becoming of any real young lady to flirt as Caroline had with him. It was no wondered he thought she was easy.

Any way when she had returned to Hogwarts for her sixth year she had bragged about the amazing summer she had had with Lucius. At first they nodded and listened with good attention and manners but as the months had gone on, so had she.

She spoke of him none stop, it as if she had verbal dire. And three out of the four girls she shared a dorm room confided in each other what they all felt at the time.

She had been lying about him. But as Narcissa looked over at Caroline she saw she must have been telling the truth. There was Lucius Malfoy, with Caroline. He had come to see her graduate. But what did he see in her? that was the real question. There was no bachelor in there world who was more sort after than him...

"Blimey, so she was telling the truth." Elizabeth muttered.

"It would seem so."

"Well, I can't believe it," Narcissa said to them.

"Neither can I."

Narcissa shook her head. What were they doing thinking about her and bitching on her day?

No, she wasn't going to think on Caroline…

"You are going to the ball later on aren't you, at Rutland Park?" checked Izzy.

"Of course I am, all my family are going to be there too!"

The end of year ball had been a tradition in Slytherin house held since the schools opening it seemed. Rutland Park had once belonged to a pure blood family but when the last one died out he left it to the head of house of Slytherin. Traditionally, it had been used as their home but as also a place for Slytherin gatherings past and present.

Slughorn had always used Rutland in the best way.

He used it as his personal retreat in the summer but when there was a ball or a function the house needed it for, he was always the first to offer his home. Many of his friends were more acquaintances through this but it had always been very useful meeting and gaining connections.

His balls were always of the best taste, with fine food and dancing. The society there was to the Slytherin mind most agreeable. One of the terms of its usage was that only purebloods could enter. And while he was hardly the firmest believer in pure blood supremacy, most of his guests were.

The Blacks and the Lestranges were among that elite group who did.

Narcissa had chosen a blue dress for the evening. It was her favourite colour as people said it always brought out the best in her eyes.

And from that night on the great game of courtly love for her begun. For Caroline, she thought to herself, it was going to be easy. She had found herself a good man. Now all she had to do was to hold him. However at times that was easier said than done.

She had every intention of holding her husband when she found him. She knew her father had been the most disloyal of husbands to her mama over the years. Her mother was the sort of women who stood for it as long as she could have the pretty dresses and her creature comforts. That was their understanding. She had her money and he had his mistress. The only other condition was that his mistress no had no illegitimate children.

In herself Cissy wasn't sure if this one had been complied too.

She wanted more than her father had given her mother. Yes, she knew she would marry where she was told. But if she was able to find a gentleman with in her first year of society who was of her liking then perhaps then she might try to influence her papa's decision.

"Oh my dear!" her mother said as she came down the great stair case of their home. "You look simply breathtaking." She said to her.

"Thank you mama. I must say I am a bit nervous. I have never been to a ball when I have been out in society!" she said with a hint of excitement.

"Oh we all feel like that on her first night out. Even your aunt and I did. But then I met your father." She said to her. "On that very first night. And my girl I know you don't always think have been happy with my lot." She said as if she had been reading her daughters mind. "But I have. I have always been very happy. Or at least I was until, your sister – well the loss of a child, goes hard on its mama. But still tonight is not about her. It is about you. And your star is going to shine so bright tonight my dear. Everyone in the room shall be captivated by you. The most handsome of the Black daughters, out in society at last!" she said to her proud.

"Mama…" Narcissa was taken aback by that. She, who had always put her down, found fault in praise and looked for the tiniest little mistake, had praised her so highly with such fondness in her voice. The fact she had spoke of Andy only proved that. So she hadn't forgotten. But the way she spoke of her as if she had died was so horrid. She felt a pity for her mother who clearly felt so let down by her eldest.

"You have done me proud. I knew I never told me – but you always have my girl. Now are we going to this ball or what? Your sister and her husband are here and your papa is ready too. All we await my darling…is you." she said gently.

"Mama, I know I am a woman and I am no longer a child...but will you hold me, just for a moment?" she asked.

The two women proceeded to share the warmest embrace Narcissa had ever been part of. Her mother was wearing the same perfume she always had been since her daughters were born and she was as soft and tender in that moment as any mother might be at that moment. After those five treasured minutes of affection, she pulled back. "Are you ready now my love?" she asked.

"Without a shadow of a doubt, mother. I am."

Bella was stunningly dressed as her sister, she was in a emerald pair of dress robes. Her husband was in black and they were as handsome and as intimidating as ever. But they were warm to their little sister as they always had been.

"How are you tonight little one?" asked Rod as he saw her face, using his pet name for her. She was walking down on her mother's arm.

"I am better than I have ever been in my life." She replied as she smiled to her mother and him.

"And we are ready to go to the party?" Mrs Black said to the family, as the five of them assembled and ready to go.

"We are wife." Said Narcissa's father. "Let us be off. "

Rutland was already buzzing by the time the Blacks got there. There were many families who had been invited who had not had a child pass out of Hogwarts that year, but that was the way it was. They had come for one of the highlights of summer. The ten families who had a graduate though were the most important that night of course, and because of her new title, Narcissa's were the most important.

Dinner was served at eight o'clock, the huge long table furnished by oak chairs with green seat covers, and all the people who sat along were talking of the achievements of the school year.

Every so often Narcissa felt a pair of eyes to her, but was unable to figure out where they were coming from. Even without seeing them though she felt as if these eyes might be erotic and intense, and she wanted them on her all the time. She felt strange. The sensation she got from these perhaps imaginary eyes felt like they were piercing her body.

And yet in an odd way she liked it.

The rich meats she ate that night reminded her, she had had nothing since she had had her breakfast that morning. It was delicious, the entire meal.

The pudding a light cheesecake. They could have nothing too heavy after all the dancing was going to begin soon. No one wanted it lying heavy on their stomach.

At last, as they all came to the end of there of Slughorn again stood up. What he had said in the common room that morning had seemed such a long time ago she though as she sat between Bella and Chris.

Feeling happy and relaxed now the gaze had left her. She had extremely good posture that evening. Her gown alone made sure of that and for the first time also she felt like a lady. She didn't feel like that little girl who had sat among the other graduating students that morning in her uniform.

"Well, here we are again my friends." he said as he began his speech. "This has perhaps been one of the most gifted years I have ever seen past out of Hogwarts. Of course there are a few exceptions but there is no denying that I take particular pride in this group, not only for their hard work and dedication, but for the sense of leadership they brought to their house. This goes particularly for our honour student, Miss Narcissa!" he cheered and every one raise their glasses to her. "The brother and sister hood this year group have found in one another is remarkable. As people, we Slytherins are not known for our affection and our understanding. We are known not for our support or for being there for one another in our times of trouble whether it be work related or personal. But never have I seen a more tightly knit group. And those friendships I believe will hold long in to the future. Never forget each other, and hold true. You are the one year group I don't mind letting go of, knowing you'll have one another. You will hold true to your beliefs, the right values and one another. So I beg you, our most noble lords and my gracious ladies to raise your glasses and get on your feet. To the graduating class: may they live long and happy lives."

It was not to long till Cissy was on the danced floor… as the honour student she was sourly seek out as a dance partner and while all the other girls got a chance to sit down every now and again she did not.

The first dance she had was with her papa. He after years of society balls, he was slowly beginning to drop out in to a well earned retirement but as he danced with his graceful young daughter he could have been as young as she was he was so fast on his feet.

Her second was Rod. He had been a brother to her ever since he had joined the family. He could be a harsh and crude man but mainly towards his friends and women, he was charming and attentive. He had affection for his wife. Much in the way that her father did for her mother. Was it enough? Narcissa again asked herself. He was not as graceful at dancing as her papa had been though, and she knew his wife always complained about his feet treading on hers.

Her next dance was with Chris. He was nervous on his first day in society too, only he had more power than she had. After all, it was the men who chose their wife.

He smiled as she danced in his arms so relaxed. Chris, was asides Rod and her papa, the only man she knew was not going to be looking at her as a piece of meat.

It was then as the dance ended that she was aware the eyes were watching her again. Only this time she saw them and who they belonged too.

Malfoy…Lucius Malfoy. And he was walking toward her.

_Please Review!_


	2. A Day Of Rest

**Revised: **Monday 21st June, 2010

_Chapter 2: A Day Of Rest_

The young man had at first glanced at her with terrifying pair of grey eyes. But the thing with Narcissa was that she did not scare easily, luckily for her. If he was trying to intimidate her then she was determined not to let it work.

He bowed to her as he came close and she curtseyed gracefully, holding her ground.

"May the honour student grace me with this dance?" he asked her.

"Why, of course," She said. She could hardly say no.

He looked at her, masking his shock. So far he had found the new comers from Hogwarts both too comely and too flirty for his liking to be true ladies.

That by no means suggested that he was against flirtatious women. But they were best as whores in back streets pubs. Not in a true lady as they should be. And never would they be the mistress of his house.

But of course this lady had let herself down already today.

"Nice recovery by the way." He said to her.

"My lord, whatever do you mean?" she asked as the dance begun, thoroughly confused.

"Today at the ceremony. You do not mean to tell me you were listening when they called your name?" he asked half playfully, and half scornfully. She chose to ignore the latter.

"I am afraid that is just my second nature," she said to him, "When Dumbledore speaks I turn off. I cannot stand him." she said to him.

Smart as well as beautiful, he thought to himself. He could only angry with her for what she had said, for he had done the same when he had been at school and he was not one to call the pot black when he was the cauldron.

"And do you have any reason for your dislike of the 'greatest wizard' our time," his voice that time was so mocking it was impossible to ignore it.

"Only everything he believes in. We are very different, him and I. We have different ideas about the world," she said to him.

"I can see that."

She smiled at him. It was not seductive, but both sweet and innocent. And for the first time that night he grew hot under the collar. With all the other girls he had figure them out in a moment of dancing with them. But this Miss Black was new and fresh. And he liked a challenge. The chase made the capture fun and rewarding.

"Well done by the way, my honour student," he said to her.

"I thank you my lord," She replied properly.

A silence fell over them but it was not awkward. Nor was it comfortable. Again there was only one word to describe him. Intense.

She could feel his hands on her body. She had never felt like this. Yes she had danced with men before. But they had been her relative's or they had been her friends. And suddenly this was a man… a great lord of their world. And she was in his arms.

His eyes felt as if they were boring in to her. As if they were going just through her. As if he could see into her very...

But it didn't frighten her in the way he thought it would. He was clearly used to a reaction from women but as if she was going to give him the satisfaction. She remained tall and proud as they danced together, almost as if she was his equal. And he admired her for that. Not many women had her courage.

"I thank you Miss Black," he said as the song came to an end far too soon for his liking. "For the best dance of the evening."

"Surely that is with Caroline?" she asked. He was puzzled why she was asking. She was not throwing herself at her feet and yet he didn't think she disliked him. Her opinion of him was hidden. He found that made him feel rather uneasy.

He smirked, gave a small chuckle and walked away.

She was smart, funny and a complete mystery to him. He was going to have to see her again.

Narcissa awoke the next day in her own bed. That was a nice sensation. She did miss her own room when she had been at school. She was the sort of girl who loved her privacy and time alone so to share a room with four others girls for nine months a year got tiresome for her at times. She was sure to miss the other girls, but just not yet.

She was in the honey moon stage of being home.

She didn't get up straight away. There was no need for her too. She had no classes, it was the start of summer and she was just enjoying listening to the birds outside of her window.

From the sun that beamed in through the curtain she felt sure it was going to be a brilliant day.

Maybe a nice day to go out for a ride she thought to herself. It was a tradition she had held for all the summers when she had been at Hogwarts that the first day back she spent riding in the meadows that surrounded their home.

How funny it was that her life had been shaped by her traditions and her culture. She had met so many girls at Hogwarts, girls of the new world who did what they wanted when they wanted and yet them, the daughters of old men, were still as backward in their ways as they had been a century ago.

But that was how she liked it. To her, they had it the right way so why should they have to fix it? She liked the idea of when you went to your husband you were pure and that until then you were under your fathers command. She knew Bella had not agreed. But she had been given a gift that Narcissa had not and that was that she was self assured, unlike Narcissa who was so dependent on that security at times.

She was safe guarded by their father and she was grateful for it.

When she rose it was ten and her mother and her father were done eating their breakfast before she even got to the table. She had two slices of toast and a cup of tea before she changed.

Her hair which had been free to flow yesterday was now tied in a tight bun so that it was not going to blow in her face when she was out. She changed in to one of her riding gowns and headed down to the stables.

She had got her horse when she had been a young girl and had rather unimaginably called her 'Snowy' after her pure white colour. She was her best friend when she was home and when she was at school she missed her. There was something about the freedom she gave her that no one else and no other animal could provide for her.

First of all though, she lavished the horse in affection making up for the months she had been away. She brushed her coat gently and spent a good hour with her before they went out riding. It was good for the young women to get back in saddle.

Riding was without a doubt one of her favourite past times along with reading.

She was shocked how much of that day she ended up spending out with Snowy. She had thought she was going to get back sooner but she had got enchanted by the pretty country lanes that she had trended so many times before that she hadn't wanted to go home. Besides, when she was out in the saddle she felt as if she was home.

But as she saw the sun begin to set she knew she was going to have to some time so at five she trotted back up the fields to the manor she had called home for so many years.

After the days hard exercise there was only one thing on her mind and that was a shower. She was soon washed, her hair again immaculate and she put on a summer dress that was going to keep her cool for the rest of the day. The only down side to her beautiful her riding gowns was that she got so hot in them at times. She hated that aspect of riding.

"Cissy?" she heard a knock on her door as she finished changing.

"Yes, yes papa, come in, don't worry, I am deceit!" she said and turned to see his face.

"Have you been abed all day, my love?" he laughed at her coming in with a cheerful smile on his face.

"Not at all, papa I went on a nice long ride and it was delightful," she beamed at him.

"Well you should have told me, I would have kept company dearest," he said to her gently, disappointed at being left behind that day when she had been taken part in a pleasurable activity that they both enjoyed.

"I am sorry, papa but I was looking forward to the time alone so that I might unwind a little. We can go riding together over the summer. These past few days have been very hectic and I felt so overcrowded. It was so lovely to get away for the day by myself, but I am ready to be sociable again I think," she said to him with a smile.

"Well, that is a good thing as me and your mother want you to join us outside for dinner! It is just the three of us but it will be nice. We want to know very thing you have been doing of late!"

She smiled and took hold of the arm that he offered her. Tea with her parents was not high on the list of things she wanted to do but she had been away for a good few months and it was good to get it over with.

Her mama and papa proved to be the most attentive of listeners that day as she told them of her trips in to Hogsmeade, of her revision, the Quidditch games she had attended and the parties they had had in the common room.

"So all in all you had a good last term?" asked her mother.

"Yes I did. One of the best spent there I think, it was wonderful," she confided in them.

"Well that is good, but you know your life is going to change dramatically now, don't you? There are going to be no more long lazy Hogwarts days," her mother said to her.

"Yes, mama, of course I know that. I am not completely stupid you know? Well I proved that yesterday." She said rather taken aback for a moment so she had no time to hide the annoyance in her voice before she turned softer. "I know and I am ready, mama," she said to her as she looked out over their lands…

Sometimes her mother could be so insensitive. But she was used to that, it was after all nothing new. Her eyes were wondering so as to look anywhere but at the elder women.

Had her mother brought up all this now to remind her if the fact she was soon to be married? What she didn't know was whom too and she was happy with that for now. She hadn't wanted to be reminded of that fact that day. Narcissa sighed. There were a lot of gentlemen who had been looking for wives at the ball last night but there had been one who had made such an impression on her as to make her think of him during that day.

Lucius Malfoy.

He had been the most observant person she had ever met she had decided after that one single conversation she had shared with him in all of her life. After all, no one but she and Izzy knew she had been day dreaming. Or maybe everyone else had noticed but had been courteous not to both saying anything to her.

She smirked. He was handsome she thought to herself. And the right sort of man, the kind of man her father would seriously consider. But he was with Caroline. Surely a girl such a she could not truly make him happy?

"I assure you mama. I am ready for everything that life has to through at me." She said as she sipped her tea in the light of the setting sun.

She had and her day of rest. Tomorrow the work begun.

An: sorry it is so short. The next chapter is longer.

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	3. Tea And Dinner

**Revised:** Tuesday 22 June, 2010

_Chapter 3: Tea and Dinner_

The next day Narcissa awoke with dreading feeling in her stomach. For a moment she had forgotten why and then she had remembered the letter she had got just before she had gone to bed. It had been from Caroline.

She had to go to tea with her. She was originally intending to say no, but when her mother had seen the letter she had been ordered to go and see her. She said this was the sort of thing she had to get used to.

"Cissa, not every society occasion is going to be good and pleasurable. You must play the long game and take the rough with the smooth."

She rolled her eyes. After her mother had said that Elizabeth had ended up in the fireplace. She had got the letter too and made it clear she was only going to go if Narcissa did.

"All we are going to get out of her tomorrow is her going on about how brilliant she is." Said Elizabeth with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe she won't be so bad!" said Narcissa hopefully.

"I thought you were meant to be the brilliantly smart honour student," she said as wicked to her cheekily before vanishing.

And so when she came down the stairs the next day she was in a lilac simplistic set of dress robes. They were not over stated but Narcissa looked charming all the same mother said as she saw her and then she went on a walk till it was time to go.

It was going to be a hard habit to break. Her morning walk…

Narcissa then apparated over to the Greengrass estate at five to eleven so she was early and not late. The only time when it was acceptable for a young woman to be late was on her wedding day.

She was shown into the living room where Caroline sat. She had dressed herself up like a hippogriffs dinner, Narcissa thought to herself. Her bright orange robes clashed with her hair colour, and she had her hair in two plaits. She looked like a young girl trying to play a grown up game.

Narcissa bite her tongue and said nothing though. It would be rude and impertinence to comment if she did not mean it. And besides in the house hold she had grown up in, she was well practised at biting her tongue.

"My dear Narcissa!" said Caroline as she got up of the couch.

Suddenly another of her mother pearls of wisdom came back to her. Judge every one about you and their performance, so you do not make the same mistake.

She was bound to make a few mistakes in her first few months out in society; it was only to be expected. But she wanted as few as possible.

What she saw in Caroline was everything she did not want to be; she was loudmouthed, excitable and clumsy. It was all well and good to excited but it was then you forgotten yourself and made mistakes.

"Caroline, how wonderful to see you." she said, the politeness in her voice hiding her true feelings. "How are you?"

"I am very well. Did you have a nice relaxing day yesterday?" she asked.

"Oh yes. I went on a nice long ride. I think it was just what I needed." She said to her with a gracious smile.

"Did you? Well Lucius came over to see me and we went shopping. I really think he adores me. It is so nice for ones future to be secure." Caroline smirked.

During the time that she was saying this to Narcissa, the young Black noted her looking her up and down forming her own opinion that Cissy had no care for. She was not the most subtle girl. Her opinion was of no importance.

"Well, I hope you had a good time," the comment about Caroline's secured future sinking in to her. Did Lucius then intend to marry her? Well more fool him if he did.

"Oh we did, it was divine."

Narcissa thank god for her savour then as Izzy entered. She walked through in a pair of mint green robes which complimented her brown hair beautiful as well as her eyes. She looked as much as a young lady as Narcissa did.

They were both everything Caroline wasn't. Anyone could see it.

Not do long after, Elizabeth turned up, not quite disguising as well as the other two how much she did not want to be there. If there was any one in their year she had wanted to lose contact with it was Caroline.

There had been a time she thought to herself when she had been as close with the other three as they were themselves but she had ditched them when she had started going with Lucius. Everything about their friendship with her had changed. Only she couldn't see it.

A few other girls who had been there on the night of the ball also came. They were all more dressed down then there host as well, and a few times as Caroline continued to dominate the conversation, the girls in turn either looked as if they were ready to burst out laughing at her or they were going to lose the will to live.

Just as Narcissa had given up all hope of anything remotely interesting happening there was a knock on the door.

"I wasn't expecting any one." She said in a way that told all the girls she had indeed been waiting for someone to come. It had also been hinted at the way she checked her watch every five minutes.

The door opened to reveal Lucius Malfoy. He had clearly been expecting to find her alone from his apparent shock at seeing the other girls there. It was then that Narcissa released that Caroline was also wearing robes that cut lower along the chest than any of the other young ladies who were present.

"My dear Lucius, I was not expecting you." She said to him.

This was going to be interesting, thought Narcissa to herself smirking inwardly.

"Yes, you were Caroline you wrote to me last night." He said to her with a harsh tone in his voice, annoyed he had been fooled.

"Did I?" Caroline played dumb, not that she needed to play at it much Narcissa thought.

"Yes, you did."

"Well, you are here now," she said to him trying to recover and not doing it very well. "Why don't you sit down and have tea with the girls?" she asked.

"I think they are far more ladies. I see only one girl here today Caroline." He said scornfully, feeling the betrayal.

But she took no note whatsoever.

"Come, Izzy why don't you go and sit next to Cissy so Lucius can sit by me?" she said.

"No, Caroline, please do not disturb your friends as they are sitting so comfortably. I will more than happily take my sit next to Miss Narcissa," he declared as he sat by the youngest Black daughter.

Elizabeth watched as Caroline's face fell, having already worked out what her game was going to be. To show all the girls, that even if she had not been as clever as they had been at school or as desirable company to the boys in the year group, that a real man had wanted her. And yet now here he was and he was dropping her out to sit by Narcissa. It was no surprise to the others.

Tea after that moment got a lot more interesting for all involved and that was including Lucius.

As Caroline started talking, he interjected a comment here or there (which more often than did not, cut her down in her opinion). He was a very skilled young debater and seemed to know what he was talking about whatever the conversation turned too.

His eyes never once rest one Narcissa but she felt a sharp, unusual sensation run through her from the moment he sat by her side. How had she stayed away from him in the common room? She had thought of him as – well, nothing at all. She had been so young and focused on her studies that nothing else had come to be as important as they were too her. But she was a very different young woman now and she wanted him to know that, which she felt was odd. She had never cared what men had thought of her before.

But then she had never been in the game of courtly love before, which she had the feeling she was going to enjoy playing.

"It was good to see you again, Miss Narcissa," Lucius said as tea ended and he prepared to leave.

"Thank you Lord Malfoy, your company has been very constructive," she said curtsying. Many of the girls watched with joy. Caroline had tried to outdo them all in a matter of days of coming out from Hogwarts. She had not succeeded.

"Caroline, thank you for the wonderful morning but I must also excuse myself," said Narcissa as she watched the other girls stunned face remained unmoved and she followed his lead and left.

The best laid of plans always went wrong.

"Oh what a little fool." Said Bella as she sat with Rod and Lucius. The two men had been friends since there Hogwarts days and he had come straight over from the morning tea at Caroline's. He had had to tell someone, and also there was another matter he thought Bella might help him on. "That girl is going to find it hard to married at all. You are not considering her ,are you?"

"Please, that is a night mare. I have no intention to be stuck with some whore for all of my days. No, I want someone with a bit more class. Someone, I have to say like your sister. She has made the most favourable impression on me since she has been out. I have only seen her twice but I would see her more."

From the look on Rod's face, Bella knew that her husband was going to be in favour of the match. She on the other hand was not. She did not think her sister was the sort of girl that Lucius was going to be after. Nor was she going to be able to handle him thought Bellatrix. One of the best things about her sister was the fact she was so innocent. In every experience she had had with the girl she saw the entire world was good and agreeable in her eyes. She didn't want that to change and she was sure the Lucius would change that.

"You are not happy with this match, Bella?" asked Lucius as he saw for a moment the displeasure on his friends face.

"I think for all purposes political and blood lines it would make perfect sense for you to court my sister. But she is very young."

"That is no reason for the two of us to not court. That has and always will be in our world insignificant."

"She is so inexperienced. Give her time to settle in to life outside Hogwarts." She said to him.

But Lucius was a determined young man and Narcissa had caught his eye. He was going to have her. He desired to possess her after just two meetings.

"Well if it is her inexperienced that worries you wife then why don't we remedy the problem," Rod suggested. "Lucius what are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"I have no plans as of yet."

"Yes you do, you are going to come to us for dinner. As will dear little Narcissa."

"Oh Rod, she might want to stay in tonight, if she had to deal with the ghastly Caroline."

"Bella, what are you talking about? We did not want to stay in for the night when we were her age and neither will she. Write to your sister, tell her to come to us and stay for a few nights."

"Of course my lord!" She said to him through gritted teeth. That was what she so hated about the bonds of marriage. The fact that she had to obey him no matter what when he gave her a command. And until she found a higher master she was going to have to follow his every command.

Narcissa was only too pleased to get the invite to go and stay with her sister for a while. She had missed her and it was going to be good for the girls to have some time together when Rod was at work, she thought to herself.

She told her parents where she was going, got their blessing and left as soon as she could. The two of them had not had a proper chance to catch up since she had returned yet.

As she arrived at Lestrange manor she saw Bella in the living room waiting for her.

Bella smiled on the sight of her innocent sister who had come running when she had called. It was so good to have someone she knew she could rely on. Even if she wished the two of them did not have to be there that day.

"Hello my sister," she said as she nodded to her. Narcissa curtseyed to the lady of the manor, practising her manors playfully. Bella who picked up on this as soon as she saw the bow observed her.

"Don't go quite so low, my dear. A girl of your ranking has no need too," she reminded her.

"Of course not. It is just being in the presence of such a great lady, it makes me nervous," she said with an utterly playful tone of amusement in her voice.

Bella begun to laugh. She knew Narcissa would never see her as a great lady, only the girl who had tormented her in their younger days and the teenager who had been her mentor when she had been at school with her. And now she must continue be her guide, she thought to herself.

"Well, I must say I feel as little over whelmed myself, at being in the presence of the star of new society. You shone so brightly at the ball. Certainly brightly enough for Lucius to take not of you."

"Lord Malfoy took note of me?" she asked taken aback by that. She had seen him, what, twice? Surely she could not have made a real impression on him so soon.

"Oh yes and that is why we wanted you to come, as well as the fact we have missed you. He is going to be staying with us for dinner tonight and he requested the company of my charming younger sister."

"Poor Caroline." Said Narcissa out loud." She is going to hate me; she thinks she future is safe with him."

"Is there any reason why the case should now be altered?" asked Bella a bit more severely than she had been intending too.

"I think so, sister, if he is asking for another women's company." She said to her.

"Do not be so naïve, Narcissa, I beg you. Just because he asks for your company does not mean he is going to leave her." she said to her.

The two sisters stood in silence for a moment, the tense silence overcoming the room. Bella then shook head.

"What are we doing fighting on your first day back here?" she asked. "I have missed you!" she said as she put her arms out to her. "I am sorry.. I just worry for you!" she said as they embraced.

"You don't have to. I am more than capable of looking after myself. I am a lady now. No longer am I a girl."

"Oh. sister you don't have to tell me that!"

"Then let me be a woman. And if Malfoy is interested in me. then so be it. It does not mean I am interested in him." she said gently.

"Are you not?" asked Bella wondering out loud with a smile at her sisters confident tone.

"To be honest, I have no idea. I remember when he was at school he was always said to be charming and handsome. And I think in a way he is both of those things. But I have hardly had the chance to form my own opinion, yet so I am still reserving judgement on him. When I make my mind up you shall be the first to know Bellatrix I assure you."

"Good girl, that is what I want to hear Narcissa," she said to her. A well considered thoughtful, and for now , unbiased answer.

"Now tell me Bella, is marriage all it is cracked up to be?" she asked with a girly hint of sisterly excitement in her voice. Clearly she wanted to be told it was. After all, she had it all to look forward to and it was her only option. As if a Black girl could get a job. No matter how big the brain she was expected to give herself in to submission. And that was only right as their fathers and the men in their lives saw it. After all, if she had been able to get a job and support herself Bella would have. But no, Andy had broken their mother's heart when she had left home to be independent with the man she loved and so it was Narcissa and Bella's job to put it back together.

"It was very different life to what I thought it was going to be. I have more freedom now than I did when I was at home which I am grateful for. Rod and I get on well, so yes, I guess I do enjoy married life. There are a few things perhaps I want to change at times, but no matter. On the whole, I am a very happy woman ,Narcissa I promise you that sister dearest. "

"Good." she said. It gave her hope for her own marriage.

Narcissa spent what was left of the afternoon with her sister. They spoke of all the things they had been doing, and there was playful banter and a good nature between the two considering their first harsh words to each other. Bella now thought she had been rude and far too judgemental, not that she was ever going to admit that to Cissy. No, she had had the right idea. Her sister needed a mentor, no matter what she thought. She was going to do the job, and she was going to do it well.

The four of them sat down to dinner. Narcissa had thought carefully on what Bella had said when she had first got to the manor when she had been dressing for dinner. Lucius Malfoy had noticed her. And now she was conscience of it. She was very conscience of it indeed.

She was in a plain rose coloured dress, which was as modest as what she had worn to tea that morning.

Only dinner could not have been more different to how tea had been at Caroline's. She remembered how stiff and embarrassed she had felt and yet from the moment she sat down she felt much happier in the pleasurable company of her family. She was uptight and eager to keep her good reputation in Malfoy's eyes and so conducted herself as she would if she was back at Rutland.

Lucius had not had such a pleasant meal out of his own home for a long time. His friendship with Rodolphus had always served him well and that was again proving again to be the case as he sat opposite Miss Narcissa.

"So, Miss Narcissa, it must be nice to get out of school at last." He said striking up a conversation when a interval came up.

"It is, though I don't think it has quite sunk in yet. Seven years there and now it is over." She said to him.

"You are going to miss it?" he enquired.

"Perhaps a little. Not always I am sure. I will not miss History of Magic that's for sure."

"Is Binns still teaching?" he enquired.

"Of course he is. If death can't stop him what will I ask you?"

"Some people just don't know when to stop do they?" asked Rod.

"Apparently not." commented Bella.

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	4. The Ball

**Revised:** Tuesday 22 June, 2010

_Chapter 4: The Ball_

With no other engagements the next day Narcissa took a reading book and went out in to her sisters gardens. She had a mind to spend a lazy morning soaking in the sun.

She found a bench in one of the gardens and sat down. Her book was a romantic novel, which she had not really even looked at yet since she had been given it for her birthday. She had been in such a rush to get to her sisters the day before she had only just remembered it.

She had been just about to turn the page to start reading when she heard footsteps.

"Good morning Miss Black."

"Good day to you as well, Mr Malfoy." She said in reply.

"Are you out enjoying the morning?" he asked.

"That is the idea. It is so nice to just sit for a while not having to worry about rushing off to be somewhere," she said to him in an almost informal tone.

What an odd girl she was, he thought to himself. How was she content just to sit?

"May I sit with you for a while, if I will not distract you from your reading?" he asked.

"Of course. I have not read any of it yet and it would be nice to have some company." She said to him.

He sat down and observed her.

He was looking at her as if trying to find a fault in the finest painting that was ever created and yet he could not. Dinner last night had only made him want to spend more time with her. What he had said to Rod the day before as far as he was concerned still stood. He wanted her. Narcissa Black was exquisite.

"And the company is much finer than it was yesterday morning?"

If she agreed with what he had just said he had no idea. She gave nothing away and he got the feeling she was never going to for quite some time.

"Do you not agree?"

"I am inclined to neither agree or disagree, it is hardly becoming of a young lady to pass judgement on those who are kind enough to invite her to tea is it? " she told him

"No, it is not. But it is I whom you speak to. All your opinions would be safe with me Miss Narcissa." He said to her.

Would they?, she wondered to herself.

She faced him quite suddenly. She wanted to see what expression he had on his face as he had said this. It was after all a rather bold claim.

The cool grey eyes were relaxed, hardly boring through her as they had done previously. His brood shoulders made him appear as aloof as ever but not in the arrogant way that day. A bit like a prince of old she thought to herself.

He was handsome that was for sure. But was he trustworthy? She had no idea.

"What do you think my answer would be if I were to give you one sir?"

"Speculation is pointless."

"Maybe but in my experience, it has always been fun."

"Then I think you would agree with me but never voice your objection." He said to her.

"Then why did you need ask me the question?"

"So I have the right answer?"

"Perhaps..."

"Come Miss Narcissa…it is not normally this hard for a man to work out a woman's mind."

"No. It isn't? Maybe I am just too secretive and that is what makes the challenge so difficult and interesting."

"Or maybe I am just stupid?"

"As I said…speculation is fun."

Rod laughed as Lucius told him the exchange of conversation that had gone on between him self and Narcissa. He had never known her to have such a quick tongue.

"She was funny and flirtatious by the sounds of it."

"Without being as obvious as the other girls, yes, she was," he admitted. "There is something about, that girl Rod. Have you never noticed it?"

"Don't be stupid." He said with a wink that told him he was being sarcastic. "She is my sister. I couldn't look at her like that."

"She is so different to everyone else; I liked her well, my friend."

"Well, just don't let my Bella hearing you talk like that and you are going to be fine."

The boys went out that afternoon to a Quidditch game. The girls were going to stay home and enjoy the peace. Then they both agreed that was a waste of an afternoon and went shopping.

"If you could buy anything in the world what would it be?" asked Bella as she and Narcissa strolled down Knockturn Alley at ease.

"I have no idea – probably diamonds at the moment." she smirked. "Something pretty." she nodded. "What would you buy?"

"Power. I would love power. To buy some power and to give it to him."

"What to Rod?" asked Narcissa.

Bella had slipped off into a dream like state for a moment. Ever since she had met him she had been captivated by him. She was going to be his most loyal most trusted servant. And then she was going to rise. She was going to rise with him and together they were going to do things that the worlds had never seen. To be invincible was her goal. And he was her path to it. When she died people were going to know her name and she was going to be remembered.

"For Rod? Of course, for Rod. Who else is there in my life?" she shrugged off.

She hated lying to Narcissa. But it had to be done.

The two sisters had a brilliant afternoons shop and both brought a couple of new gowns, with shoes to match.

Bella also browsed in a few darker shops' that were not quite to her sister's tastes and so Narcissa just stood outside.

They ate out knowing the two men were not going to be back till at least six. Finding a small Italian restaurant which was out of the way, on a back street the two sisters sat down. Despite the location the small bistro was delightful.

"I hope they win or Rod is going to be in a foul mood all week." Said Bella as they ate there dinner. She had chosen to have lasagne whilst Narcissa had spaghetti.

"He sounds just like papa when we were young. He doesn't go in for sport a lot now days though does he?"

"Not anymore which I think is sad. It is things like that would keep him young, his old hobbies. But he is determined to grow old gracefully."

"I don't know why. Where is the fun in that?"

"I know what you're saying. And he has hardly lived a graceful life, has he? Cheating in his business life and his private where ever he could and now he thinks just because he is giving up balls and sport we are going to be grateful to him. It's a bit late now don't you think?"

"It wasn't as bad as all that." Narcissa said to her elder sister.

The eldest black sister looked at the youngest. There had been a lot of things which had gone on in their child hood home she had not seen. By the time she had reached an age when she was going to be able to understanding enough to know something was going on, their papa had calmed down. He had changed, not that Bella ever really believed he had.

And now she saw him as a kindly old man. How different the two of them saw things.

"N,o maybe not, maybe I am just thinking and over analysed it all too much."

"As normal."

The girls got home about seven o'clock, laughing and joking as they had been all day. Going in to the living room with their bags they saw the two men there with a grave look on both of their faces. Bella who was so hyped after such a good day with her sister up failed to notice.

"Hello you." she said to her husband and went up and wrapped her arms about him.

"Darling, sit down we have something to tell you." He said to her quietly. It was obviously bad.

"What's has happened?" asked Narcissa.

"Sit down Miss Narcissa please." Lucius said to her gently.

She sat as she was told but continued Bella stood in her husband's arms.

"Tell me now." She said to her husband.

"It is your mama. She took to her bed this morning and has fallen unwell."

Narcissa looked at them with shock. When she had left the day before her mama had been fine, nothing wrong with her what so ever, how had she got so ill so fast?

"Then I thank you for having me." said Narcissa. "But I am sure you understand that I have to get home."

Before anyone could stop her she got up and left the room. She was going home to help her father take care of her mother and to comfort them both, there was nothing any one could say to stop her not that they wanted too.

She appareted back within the hour when she had get her things together and Bellatrix went with her to their mother's side.

Narcissa went to her mother as soon as she got home. She was so scared for her. The way Rod had put it, it sounded serious, her mother's illness. Ever since she had heard of her illness she had been thinking of the tender moment the two of them had shared when she had first got home. She and Bella went in to the room quietly to see their father sitting by her bed looking like the devoted and loving husband.

Under any other circumstances the girls were sure that Druella would have rejected them being there but at that moment when she felt so ill she just took hold of Narcissa hand and shut her eyes.

"Papa, how has this happened?" asked Narcissa not understanding.

"Shh now, my dear, not now." he said to her, his eyes never leaving his wife's face.

She was so pale. Even more so than when she had just given birth to one of their girls, the way he remembered it.

She had been complaining that morning of stomach pains. She lay pathetically in the bed and for the first time years he thought she looked old. They were old.

"My Bella." their mother stirred.

"Yes mama?" she asked gently.

"You should not be here – your husband will be wondering where you are." it was no more than a frail whisperer.

"Don't be so silly, mama. He is the one that got the note and he sent me and Narcissa to your side. He will not be expecting me home tonight and I do not intend to go to him. You just rest." she said.

"But - where is my Andy?" she asked only half awake. "I want Andromeda, would you go fetch her room her room for me Cissa?"

The three other members of the family in the room looked at each other not even sure how to answer that. Only Narcissa had heard her say that name since she after had left the house.

"We shall get her as soon as she gets home my dear!" said her husband wanting her to rest

During those hours Narcissa felt as if she was going through the blackest night she had ever seen. She knew if she lost her mother now she would be lost. Her mother was the person who told her what to do and how to act and she was too much of a fixture in her child's life to be lost to her yet.

As three o'clock approached Narcissa sat up in the living room her hands wrapped up about a mug of tea as the Healers her father had called sat in with her mother trying to moderate her progress and help her recover from the darkness that had taken her so suddenly.

Her hands were cold and clammy, she looked like that girl who she had been a week ago at Hogwarts; no longer did she fell such a young lady. Hogwarts. How she longed for it at that moment, to be back in the safety dorm room and to be surrounded by her friends. What a fine thing that would be indeed if she could only go back. You never knew what you had till it was gone, after all.

But she didn't want to think like that with her mother so unwell. She had to be there for her.

It was then that her train of thought was interrupted by the healers coming down stairs. As one of them saw her, they smiled at her trying to be reassuring but it didn't help her much.

"Papa," she asked as she saw him coming down the stairs, rushing to her father's side.

"She is ok my dear," she said to her gently. "She is going to need rest and sleep and perhaps by this morning she is going to on the road to recovery with any luck. Tomorrow she is going to be a bit stronger but I don't think we should be expecting too much. She needs some sleep and so you go up to bed and get to sleep, sweetheart."

"Papa, I would rather go and sit with mama, she needs her family about her!"

"I have sent Bellatrix home and I am sending you to your room. Now go to bed. If anything goes wrong in the night, or at least what is left of it I shall get you up, love."

Narcissa nodded and melted in to his arms.

"Oh, it is going to be o.k. my love," he said to her gently.

Narcissa got to her room before she begun to cry. She had never been so scared. The way that she had seen her mother that day she never had before. Her mother had always seemed such a tower of strength to her and now everything was different.

She changed in to her night gown and then she sat up in bed till four staring at the same page on her book for the entire hour. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest she could hear it.

At four, she must have dozed off, but she had had no intention too. She was desperate to stay awake if her mother needed her in the night. She was going to be there for her. When she had been ill in the night when she had been young, her mother had sat with her if she had asked her too.

It was only now she appreciated what she meant to her.

"My Cissy." said Druella as she woke to her daughters face.

"Hello mama. How do you feel?" she asked.

"Not as bad as I did yesterday but I feel quite unsteady and don't think I am going to be out of bed. I think I am going to go back to sleep."

"You do what you think is best for you mama. I shall stay with you and keep you company."

"Oh, you must not. There is a ball at the Parkinson's tonight and I want you to go. Everyone knows how beautiful you are and they are going to be wanting to see you there. I want you to be there."

"I would not leave you when you are so ill."

"What because I am in the winter months of my life? Oh, I know that dearest, but you are in the spring of your years. And I want you to live in such a spring that has never been seen before."

"Don't be so silly. Can't you just forget about what others think for one night?"

"Not when it comes to your well being I won't. I am going to be here when you get back and I want to hear all about it."

"Ok." She sighed, knowing she was not going to back down. "But that is not till tonight so I have all day to be with you."

"Good. I am so gratefully. I think I must have been delirious last tonight. I didn't say anything out of the ordinary did I darling?"

"No mama. You were fine."

The ball was never far from their minds that day and Narcissa asked her mothers opinion on everything.

"Back to lilac for tonight then my Cissy?" asked Druella.

"You don't think it is the wrong colour mama?"

"No, you look amazing in lilac," she said as she sat up in bed. It made her look so tall and slim.

"Good. I can't believe I am going on my own. I know I am going to see Bella and Chris there but I still have to walk in by myself."

"Well, I am afraid my darling that is part of growing up. You have to stand up tall when you go in to the ball tonight. You have to believe in yourself. And so you should do. You have a lot to believe in," she said and Narcissa nodded went over and kissed her head.

"I should really get going if I am not going to be late."

"Ok, well you go and have a good time for the both of us," she said to her warmly daughter.

An hour later Narcissa found herself at the top of a grand stair case leading down in to the ballroom thinking on her mother's words about standing tall.

But she didn't want to. And she didn't want to go in there by herself. That wasn't what she desired; a life of loneliness. Her mother told of her of her experiences. But she didn't want the same ones.

And even now she had no choice it seemed.

Just then as it seemed that was going to be what she was facing for the evening at least she felt an arm slip in to hers.

"Can I be of service my lady?" a mocking voice said in her ear.

"Thank god, Chris, I have never been so glad to see such a friendly face," she said to him. It felt so good to know he was by her side.

As they walked down the steps to the ball room, she told him everything that had happened to her since she had last seen him at Rutland, from the god awful tea at Caroline's, to the exchange she had had with Malfoy in her sisters garden and finally she finished with her fretting over her mama.

"If I had my way, I would not even be here, I would be at home by her side. It is where I should be."

"No, it is not. She is right; for now, you belong here."

"Do I?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes. Now will you stop worrying yourself and get to the dance floor?" he asked and she gave a small smile.

"That is what I like to see girl. You do not have a face that suit's a frown."

"Who does?"

"My mother. The bitch has had one there for the past seven years and she never did look so well."

She laughed as he begun to dance with her, queuing up with all the other couples.

"Come on then!" he said to her, his dark eyes dancing faster than what their feet were going to be doing soon. "Let's play I spy and see who we know."

She nodded. It was then that the music begun and Chris grinned evilly. They could say what they liked and they were not going to be over heard.

"Well, I spy my sister," she said to him beginning

"Oh so can I. And she is hot tonight. That red suits her complexion," he commented.

"Down boy, the night hasn't even really begun," she laughed. If there was anyone she could be totally relaxed about it was him. There was no one else she could talk to like this. No one else was such a mutt as he was.

"Well, I am sorry but she does. And so does Izzy," he said as they spotted their mutual friend. She was down the line a bit from them dancing with Ivan another boy who had been in there year.

Narcissa would have never put them together but she seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Can you see Elizabeth?" she asked as they jiggled a bout, circling each other.

"Not yet. She is going to be here though, she wrote to me today to make sure I was going tonight."

"And what of the Parkinson's. I have not seen any of them tonight. In fact, I don't think I know them at all, can you please tell me whose hall I am dancing in?"

"Well, I assume you know their names are Lady Cecilia and Lord Joseph," he asked her.

"I am not completely dim witted today. Only slightly," she said to him.

"Well, then you are more on the ball than normal then, my blonde friend."

"How rude!" she laughed.

"I only speak the truth. Anyway, where were we before we begun to start insulting one another? Oh, the Parkinson's, that was it. Three children. Two of them are still at Hogwarts. I heard them speaking about taking the places on the Quidditch team, before we had even left I wanted to knock them out but I suppose Slytherin do have to plan for the future now we are gone. But there oldest son passed out last year, you remember Garner surely. Quite smart and very cynical, even by Slytherin standards. You would have thought he would have attracted a wife with all his money by now but he hasn't managed it."

"Well, that's says a lot about him as a person doesn't it. Besides, how is it you know more about them than I do?" she asked him.

"Ahhh. I forget to mention the daughter didn't I? Pricilla."

"Oh the one you have been spending so much time with when we were back at school?"

"She is a nice girl you know. Not sluttish, just cuddly."

"Do not tell me you want a cuddly woman."

"I want someone who is going to be there for me." he said turning serious for the moment. He nodded, his dark eyes turning softer as he thought of her. "She is a good girl."

"Are you going to wait for her?"

"What to get out of school? Yeah I think so. She is what I want Cissy." he confided in her quietly.

As he circled her she took in his appearance. Tall, proud with dark hair, he was handsome but also a little clumsy she thought to herself. But none the less he was a good man.

"I think she would be overjoyed to here you speak of her like that."

"Well she better. After all, if I am going to hold true, I have to give up women for an entire year! It is going to kill me!"

When they had been in there sixth year he had been a notorious play boy. His favourite pray had been the Hufflepuff girls who he had found he could charm and drop so easily. He had even been with a few of the more flirtatious Ravenclaw's. The Gryffindors he hated with too much of a passion to even thinking of touching one of them. And he had too much respect for the Slytherins supposedly.

"I am the first one you have told all of this to?" she asked him.

"No, I am afraid not. Ivan and I spent the day together today and I told him all of this. He said I was a fool for getting attached to her. What do you think Cissy? I am a fool?"

"Perhaps. I don't know if I could let myself get so attached to someone like that," she shrugged as she danced.

"Well, at least you didn't laughed."

"I don't think love is anything to be laughed at Chris," she shook her head.

"Love? I never said I loved her," he shook his head.

"I think then you are contradicting yourself. You certainly spoke of her as if you were in love with her."

"Well, there is time for love when she is out of school and we are man and wife if it gets that far." he said to her and they fell into just dancing for a moment as their conversation ceased. She was glad she had him. He was the nearest thing she had for a brother apart from her little cousin Regulas who she was going to miss in the coming year. He was going in to the seventh year of Hogwarts when he went back for the new term.

"Narcissa," said Chris to her with a different one in his voice. It was not tender or warm but unsure and nervous.

"Yes?" she asked as they faced one another.

"Have you heard about the meeting that is happening tomorrow night?" he asked her.

"A meeting for what?" she checked.

"For recruiting Death Eaters?" he whispered in her ear.

She shook her head. She knew Bellatrix and Rod were involved but she never had been. She had never been given the chance and nor did she want to be. She had heard a little of it but it had been enough to know that was not what she wanted.

"No, I have not." she said to him with a much hard tone in her voice before.

They broke away for the last time and he saw she had a expression on her face that was mixed between upset and distress he had said that to her for a moment, before she wiped it away and changed it to the expression you might see on any excitable impressionable young women.

They bowed to one another and clapped but for Narcissa something had changed for her in that moment. She didn't know what it was. For the first time she realized if she wanted to go to one of those meetings then she could. Perhaps then she was no longer solely under her parents control.

Chris at that moment felt a hand tap him on the shoulder.

"May I cut in and steel the next dance with Miss Narcissa?"

Lucius was looking particularly dapper that night in black robes. They were trimmed with silver fur and as he stood there she was reminded of the image she had got of the prince in the garden.

"Very well," said Chris as he saw the look on Narcissa face. He bowed and he was on his way.

"Lord Malfoy. How nice it is to see you once again." she said to him with a soft smile, almost glad he had rescued her from her old friend.

"Thank you. You always greet me so gracefully is it any wonder I enjoy dancing with you?" he asked and she shook her head at his flattery. If he thought that was going to work on her then he had another thing coming. "Tell me, Miss Narcissa how is your mother."

Her soft face turned up to met his eyes. Either he was genuinely concerned or he was a great actor. She smiled.

"She is still very weak but she is going to recover. Thank you for asking. It means - " she trailed off.

"It means…"

"A lot to me that you would." she said to him.

"It is out of respect for you and your family."

That dance was a lot stiffer than her one with Christopher had been. She felt nervous and she wanted to be in control. When she had been with Chris, she had been of course. There was no difference to the outside observing her. But she was not so relaxed. It was like she wanted to get it right when she was with the heir of the Malfoy's. She did not want to a foot wrong. When she was with Chris if she got it wrong then to her it did not really matter but when she was with Lucius then it did. She didn't want to make a mistake in front of him.

"My lord?" she heard a voice in her ear as the dance end. Clearly someone was behind her wanting Lucius. She should have known.

Caroline.

"You have made it," he said to her sneering. He had been having splendid time with Narcissa and he didn't want it to end yet, and here she was. _His love. _

"I see my friend Miss Black has been keeping you company." she said to the two of them, recalling the way the two of them had sat together when they had had tea. She was not used to a rival for his attentions.

"Yes and Miss Narcissa has promised me two dances so if you would not mind Caroline." he said to her.

And so they danced on. Once the music was playing again and the dancing had started again Narcissa checked Caroline was out of ear shot she smirked.

"You lied."

"You never contradicted me thus you're as guilty as I am."

"Cissy how is mama?" asked Bella as they found each other, after the second dance. Amid the dancing and the fun they had found it difficult to break away from everyone to come together.

"She is recovering. She insisted that I come tonight so I guess that shows that her stubbornness has returned." she said to her

"Well that is a relief. But today, was she saying anything a little odd?" she asked.

"What, like asking when Andy was going to come to her? No, not at all, she regained her sanity. But I was wondering if perhaps one of us should go to Andy and tell her of mama's illness. Maybe it might be enough to make her come home and see sense. That mud blood is not good for her."

"I could not agree more, but, no we will not tell her. She is a whore and I refuse to acknowledge her as anything else but one."

"But Bella. I know what she did was wrong. But if we never talk to her how are we going to get her to see sense and come home."

"We have tried to make her see sense more than once or twice now and you know it," she said to her. "Now ,I am sorry but we are not going to go after her or tell her of mama's illness. If she wants to know she has to come home first ok."

"Yes. I know."

Narcissa felt more than a little disappointed with that answer. That had not been what she had needed to hear from her.

"Shall we go and get another drink?" suggested Bella.

"Yes, I think that might be a good idea." she said to her. Simply to get out of the conversation it was a good idea. They were obviously standing of very different markers when it came to the situation of their sister.

They went out in to the foyer, which was fairly quietly compared to the hall. It was cooler as well and Narcissa felt better for the air.

"I am wondering if I should go home soon." she said to Bella as they walked out.

"You want to get back to mama?"

"Do you think that is silly?"

"No, not at all. Part of me does as well. It is only because I am married and with Rod now that I want to stay," she said.

Narcissa mulled this statement over in her head. Could she then derived from it that her sister was in love with her husband if she wanted to be near to him. She was never going to work the two of them out. There was one thing she knew about them and that was the fact they had a very passionate relationship. And clearly they wanted to be there for one another despite their indifferences.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Bella after her sister silence.

"Nothing that you would approve of."

Bella was about to ask another question that was going to satisfy her curiosity after such an answer, when they were interrupted. Someone in a bad mood apparently had stormed out of the Ball and someone was chasing after them.

"Darling I am so sorry," a whining voice said to the figure as he dashed in to the drinks area.

"You are a constant embarrassment. When you were at school it was not so bad. But now. You constantly – you're no lady, Caroline."

"I did not mean to disappoint you my lord!" Caroline cried over Lucius but he was in no mood for it.

"You are telling everyone we are as good as engaged. And we are not. We never will be." He spelt it out for her.

It was as he made this comment Lucius stopped as he saw Miss Narcissa. She was in the corner and she was obviously embarrassed over what she had just heard. But not so much as he was. God knows what he looked like to her now.

He swooped out of the little foyer and in to the gardens.

Before she knew what her feet were doing, Narcissa realized she had followed him out.

An: _Please review!_

Merry Christmas!


	5. The Proposal

**Revised:** Monday 28th June 2010

_Chapter 5: The Proposal_

He turned to see her face.

He had not expected her to come after him. Not her of all people.

But he was so glad she had. He wanted to believe this might be proof of her affection for him, if she had any. And she had to – for quite out of nowhere, he had affection for her. For it to be one sided would be too cruel.

"Are you quite well, my Lord Malfoy?" she asked him. In her eyes, he could see genuine concern.

"Yes, I am quite well, Miss Narcissa." he said to her. He had lost his grace for a moment he knew. "I am so sorry that you had to see me like that. It was not my intent."

"I think I can forgive you that. There is nothing to be sorry for." She said to him quietly.

"Translated out of your polite tones that means that Caroline could test the patience of a saint, I think." he said to her. "But I am no longer willing to put up with her. She has been out of school a mere few days and she has embarrassed me more than once on every occasion. Even when we were at Rutland at the passing out ceremony I could see I had no future with her. I did not even want to be there."

"Then why did you go to the occasion?"

He took a sharp deep intake of breathe. Had she not worked it out yet that she had captivated him. That he needed her and wanted her. He didn't know if it was anything stronger than lust, but she didn't fall on her knees before him and that was a new thing. She was young and attractive and she was a true lady. And he wanted her with every bone in his body.

As she stood there before him, her blonde hair flowing in the moon light on to the modest gown he could not help but be overcome by her beauty. She was so precious. And she had to be his. She had to be. He did not think he could bear it if she were to belong to another. Not when he wanted her. And he did. Very much indeed.

"I do not know. I think it was because there was something and someone there that I _did_ want to see. Ever since I saw - my heart has been set." he told her.

"Forgive me, sir, I do not understand."

"You will. You are going to. Sooner than you know."

He moved closer to her in the moon light and he touched her cheek with his finger. Her pale skin did not recoil at his touch but neither did she bend in to it as if longing to be closer to him. She stood there unmoved.

She was suddenly so glad that Rod had given her the warning of what he thought of her.

Lucius swept away. He knew what he had to do.

He looked at the lord.

Narcissa had not even been out in society a week. He did not anticipate that he was going to lose her so quickly.

But as her father looked at Mr Malfoy, Narcissa's father knew if he had his daughter's interest at heart then he was going to have to let her go. After all, where else was she going to get such a fine offer? A link between the Malfoy's and the Blacks, now there was a thought. A most advantageous marriage.

"And you have about thought this seriously I trust? I do not give my girls away lightly and Narcissa is the most precious of my daughters. I will not give her to someone who only wants her on a whim."

"Sir, since the moment I saw her at her sorting years ago there has been something about Narcissa that has captivated me. I don't know if it is the way that she carries herself or it is the way that she always seems to know what to say. I wish to have her by my side because she has been raised so well and she is so respectful. She is just the sort of women that I need for my wife."

"And what of what she wants and needs. Does she not come in to it?" he asked.

"Of course it does. When, if you let me have her, I will make sure that she lives like a queen."

"And she will never want for anything?"

"Never. I am not going to let that happen."

"And you will treat her with respect on every occasion."

"Without fail."

"Then I do not suppose a father can ask for more. You seem sincere enough." he said to him. He felt so dishearten though, he didn't want to give his eighteen year old daughter up yet. She was just a child and yet there was no viable reason in the world why she should not be as happy with him as she should be with any man.

"I have the most tender affection for your daughter. I never want to hurt her. I am never going to hurt her."

"If you do, I will hunt you down. If you put her in harm or endanger her in anyway then I shall also hunt you down. But if you are true and you are good to her then there is no godly reason why I should object. Lucius Malfoy, welcome to the family."

Narcissa came up from the gardens. She had been riding all morning once again and now she was eager to check on her mother.

She was one of the two things on her mind. The other one thing was Lucius Malfoy.

That touch last night. God, that touch. When he had stroked her cheek. It had been amazing. She got butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't meant to be like this she said to herself. She wasn't meant to enjoy contact with men and she was not meant to love anyone but he who was going to ask for her hand.

She did not exactly love him that was for sure. She has seen him only a hand full of times. And his treatment of Caroline on hind sight the previous night had been awful. He had lied to her and he had shown her up in public. And the way he had carried on with her before...

They were not the actions of a gentleman. It was not tasteful or what she thought of as decent.

Going up to her mother's chamber she saw her father was also there. He was kneeling before her and he had a grave look on his face, but she looked positively delighted.

"Oh my darling," she said to her as she saw her face. It was such an expression of joy that Narcissa felt for sure her mother was better.

"You are feeling better mama?" she checked.

"Thanks to you, my love, yes. Oh my Cissy. My little girl. I am so proud of you," she said and she saw tears in her eyes. "Your future is so secure now and I am sure that you are going to be more than happy with him, he is such a good man."

"Mama what are you on about, papa?" she asked looking between her parents.

"My dear I got a visitor this morning. And he asked for your hand," her father said to her.

There was a pregnant pause in which Narcissa took in a sharp breath. Her face was a picture of shock for a moment as she digested the news.

"It was Malfoy wasn't it?" she asked them.

From the look on her face they had no clue what she was thinking.

"He is a good man," her mother said to her, still cheerfully though clearly concerned by her daughters reaction, or compared to hers, lack of.

"Is he?" she questioned. She had been wondering what he had been on about when he had said she was going to understand what he meant sooner than she had thought. But she had not been expecting this. Anything but this.

"Of course he is. He works hard for his money. He is always in the paper for having donated money." her mother said.

"I just wondered what he is playing at," she said more to herself. And who cared about the money?

"Maybe he is not playing at anything," her father suggested.

"I just don't trust him," she shook her head.

"He has always been courteous to you."

"I did nothing, _nothing to_ encourage him." she said to her.

Bella did not believe Narcissa and she knew it.

"But you must of. He has asked you to be his wife." she said to her. "What went on between the two when you were in the garden?"

"I told you as soon as I came in last night and nothing has changed."

"He is a devious beggar," she shook her head.

"I am afraid I am inclined to agree with you."

Bella was surprised at her sisters reaction to all this which considering how emotional she knew she could get, this was pretty emotionless. It was as if she was detached from what was happening.

"You are being so moderate over all of this." she said to her.

"What about the marriage? Oh, that's doesn't both me. I always knew that it was going to be with a man papa and mama agreed to give me too. I just would know why he went to them to ask for my hand to begin with."

"Because you have graces of old I should expect, because you are young and beautiful."

"But I am hardly from fertile stock am I? Father and mother had eight pregnancies and came out with three girls."

"But you cannot ask for a purer blood line than ours sister and everyone knows ability to bear child is not hereditary."

"It is just curious that he has been looking for a wife for years. I go out into society and not even a week has passed when he asks for my hand."

"Well, then he was sure on his decision, we can confirm that." said Bellatrix. "So soon you are to join me as a married women. When is your betrothal ceremony?" she asked.

"In the morning." she said to her nodding.

"Papa and mama are going to take you?" she said.

Narcissa nodded.

"Well, won't one of you say some thing?"

Ivan, Chris, Izzy and Elizabeth looked at Narcissa. To say this was a shock was an understatement.

"You are happy in this match?" asked Izzy.

"I think so. I am no more unhappy than I would have been in any other match."

"And you are soon to be married, in months?" asked Chris.

"Yes, I think we are going to marry before the summer is out if what mother was saying stands," she nodded.

"Then I think maybe I should congratulate you," he said and he came ever and kissed her cheeks.

"Yes I think, maybe. This is as better match than either of my sisters got. I will have all the money in the world compare to what I have now," she said to them.

"Yes." agreed Ivan. "You shall. Have you ever been to the Malfoy manor?" he enquired.

"No. Have you?" she asked.

"Father took me there when I was small. It made Rutland look like a back street pub," He laughed. "You are going to be betrothal at Rutland I suppose?"

"Yes, we are going to go there, the ceremony will take place and then I will go back to the Malfoy's for lunch for the first time. That is a nervous thought. Meeting his father and his family." she said to them.

"They will be glad of it. That manor has been without a mistress for too long."

"Yes." she sighed.

To think she was going to be mistress of such a house. She was going to be important, she thought to herself. And so why was it that fate had given her such a hand? To be of significance in such a family line?

"You are going to be beautiful and beloved." Izzy declared as she looked at her best friend. "And we are going to have balls every night there!" she giggled.

"I don't think my husband is going to much approve of that," she laughed along with her.

Her husband. What a weird thought, she was going to have a husband. It was a reality and it was happening soon. And to her surprise it was exciting for her.

"Izzy, you and Elizabeth must be my bridesmaids!" she declared.

"Of course!" the two of them nodded.

"And what Caroline?" asked Ivan.

"I don't think she is going to want to be a bridesmaid." said Elizabeth shaking her head.

"No, neither do I," agreed Narcissa. "She is going to kill me."

"It is hardly your fault that he wants you as a wife and not her is it?" Ivan to her.

"But she isn't going to see it like that is she? She is going to think that I set out to steal him away from her, you know what she is like."

"Well, she is going to be proven wrong then isn't she?" asked Ivan. Those ones she had asked to come over to see her knew her best. She wasn't conniving and scheming. She was practical about things and she had proved that that day. She had taken the new of her marriage in her stride. And she was going to be a good wife.

"Yes, she is. But I guess soon it is all going to irrelevant. How she feels over all of this. I mean when Lucius and I are married, she can't say a word against it. All she has ever really been, or should I say was, is his mistress…" she thought out loud,

"Yes and there is where her problem is going to lie," Chris said, noting the quizzically look on his friends face. "Oh, come on, Cissy who wants an apple when someone else has already had the first bit."

"You don't think they did it do you?" asked Elizabeth.

"From what she said to us in the dorm room you know they were at it like rabbits Bess." Nodded Izzy.

"Then she is never going to get married and the man she thought was going to make her a bride has given his hand to another. Poor cow." Chris summed it up.

_Please review!_


	6. Betrothed

**Revised: **Monday 28th June

_Chapter 6: Betrothed_

Narcissa's hair flowed down her back like a river of gold. It was today she was going to be formally betrothed. And she felt sick. She had been ok with it until she had woken up. And then she had realised what a huge deal it actually was. She was going to be married. And when you got married it was not a thing you did lightly.

Today truly was going to define the rest of her life and that was without exaggeration. After all, her husband was the man who was going to be her master, much in the way her father had been ever since she had been born. And she was his till the day they died. Her entire life was going to be spent with him.

But there was going to be one big change. She was going to have to sleep with her man. As far as was concerned no man had even seen her naked, her father had never changed her when she had been small and now she was going to be expected to bear all in just a few weeks.

The dress she had on represent the virginal state she was in. The long white dress was just like most things she wore, expensive but quite plan, as was her taste in clothes. It robed her from head to toe in silk and covered her chest up modestly, though she did not look like a nun.

Finally happy with her appearance she headed down stairs were her mother and father were waiting for her. She had thought her mama would like to rest but she had insisted on going with her husband and daughter to Rutland. This was the biggest day of her daughter's life, or at least, among them and she wanted to be there for her. she had said nothing was going to prevent her from being with her daughter that day.

The three of them apparanted over, which annoyed Cissy. She hadn't wanted to flu either though, with all the soot. It was the best way to get there she guessed. She just wished there had been a way to get there without getting her hair messed up.

She brushed it out when she got to her destination with her mother's help, who said comfortingly to her daughter she could not notice the difference."You are fine, you are beautiful and glowing. Just like any girl on an occasion like this should be."

Her father disagreed. Yes, she was beautiful but she was not glowing. Nor did she look sick as he recalled her mother had on the day when they had been betrothed under the very same roof. She just looked as if she was going to go in to an exam for which she had been preparing herself for months.

Five minutes to go thought Narcissa to herself as they waited outside of the room. Lucius, she knew, was going to be inside already and waiting for her. Or at least she hoped he was going to be. She felt ready to get it down with now. And then she was going to have a few weeks of peace before she began her married life.

That was a very strange thought indeed. And she was going to mistress of her own house hold.

Lady Malfoy. She was going to be Lady Malfoy.

_The Malfoy's_ … Now there was a real pure blood family, just as theirs was. They were on par with the Blacks. And yes she supposed he was worthy of her hand. She knew her father had wanted her to go to the best man he could find. He had said so when he had been emotional at Bella's wedding. He had always found it hard letting go of his little girls whether the reason had been there defiance of him or their wedding.

She hoped she had never let him down though she thought as he watched her.

"Papa. This is the right thing, isn't it?" she asked him.

"If it was not, my dear, then do you think I would let it happen?"

"No, of course, I do not. This is going to be glorious, isn't it?" she asked him.

"For you, yes it is. No one could ask for more than what you are getting my love remember that. You walk in with your head high." He said to her.

"I am a Black. Where else would my head be?" she asked him.

"There's my girl."

"Miss Black?" she heard a voice say to her.

Out of the room where she knew her husband to be was waiting for her came Slughorn. He had a pair of black dress robes on as he stepped out in to the great marble corridor. "Are you quite ready for the ceremony?" he checked.

Having the feeling she was going to get a peep talk from him if she said the wrong thing, she nodded. "Mama and Papa have told me just what to say and how to act. I am going to be fine sir I promise you."

"Then in that case we are ready for you Miss Black." He said to her showing her to the door. "Shall we go in?"

She nodded.

The hall was brightly lit by sun shine as she went in to it. A table was in the middle of it and standing by it was Lucius and the man she knew had to be his father.

She walked over to him in a very meek fashion and she softly looked at him when she got to his side.

God, he thought to himself as he saw her. He had always known her to be a women of much beauty but that day she had exceeded herself and she looked like….a goddess. There was no other way to put it.

His virginal bride who was going to bring him much happiness he had no doubts over that.

He looked to his father who was nodding in approval. He saw the elder man drinking her in a worryingly similar fashion to what he had been doing himself. His father obviously thought it was a good match. He was grateful for that. One less obstacle to worry about.

The man sat before them who had come to perform the ceremony looked bored. How many couples had he joined together over the years. They were nothing new to him. And yet it was wholly new to them.

"Lucius Malfoy, can you confirm this is the Miss Narcissa Black who you have asked to be your wedded wife?" he asked.

Lucius nodded, and turned to his bride.

"Narcissa, before we told you of your mother's illness what did Bellatrix do?"

"She throw down her shopping bags and hugged her husband." She replied.

"It is her." he confirmed, nodding.

"Then we may proceed." He said and coughed clearing his throat. "These two young people have come together, according to the common laws sent down the ministry of magic in order to be joined together, preparing them for the bond of their ultimate marriage. This pre contract requires the signature of the bride and her parents swearing that when her husband takes her on his wedding night, he has all of her."

Narcissa felt slightly embarrassed by that. All these old people were about and they were discussing her life, and her virginity. She noted that there was no question about her groom's raised.

And that was lucky too she thought to herself.

Once she, her mother and her father had sighed she breathed a sigh of relief. She had heard a rumour that if you were lying when you signed a contract such as this one it literally through the signature of it.

When it set, she smiled up at the master of their ceremony. _Was that it?_ she thought to herself as he stood up.

"Before the witnesses here, Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy have come together and neither have voiced any objection to their marriage. If one of those who have come with them do have an objection, voice it today."

Silence.

"Then I declared you contracted to marry with in the year. If your engagement exceeds this amount of time then it will be broken and both of you will be free to marry where and as you chose, but as it stands, your faithfulness to one another should be absolute from this moment onwards." He said and they both nodded.

He got up and left the room leaving the families and the Slytherin head of house together. It was only then that Narcissa dared to look in to Lucius's eyes.

"You are to be my husband." She said to him quietly. Only he could hear.

"Yes." He smirked. He was.

"I wondered what you meant when you said I was going to understand you soon. And now I know."

"And how do you feel about it all?"

"I am indifferent. It was never going to be a man of my choosing. Why is it going to make a difference if it is you are any other man in society?"

It was hardly what he had wanted to hear. What else should he have expected from this ice queen though?

Suddenly, he was left wondering if he had done the right thing. He didn't want to live with an emotionless partner for all of his days. Then he knew what he wanted to do. Break her. Break her down until she needed him as all the others did.

"Well, when you put it, like that I suppose you are right."

"It does tend to be a frequent occurrence. You are going to have to get used to that,_ husband_," She said to him almost playfully. Almost.

"I suppose I am. Then let me take you home, wife." He asked.

As they were in the gardens she stared up at the great white manor house surrounded by its large, pretty gardens and acres of lush green land.

"It is perfect. Sir, may I bring my horse?" she asked respectfully. The move was going to be easier if she had Snowy with her. "I dearly love to ride."

"Well, of course. You can bring whatever you wish when you come here. I told your father as much when I asked for your hand. I don't want you to want for a thing."

"How generous of you." She nodded, but the mocking tone she had used at the ceremony was gone. She was glad she was going to retain the life of luxury which was second nature to her.

"Lucius, I must ask you something." she said to him and he nodded. The two of them walked through the gardens and as they did so he offered her his arm which she took."Why? Out of all the women in the world why me?"

"I have no idea."

She looked at him for a moment to try and suss out the lie but she couldn't… because it wasn't a lie.

"From the moment I saw you, and I am not talk about the graduation, I am talking about your sorting. There is something about you Narcissa. No one else could have caught me as you did... Because you ignored me. There's something in the way you carry yourself, you conduct yourself in such a manner that demands respect. I want that quality in my wife."

"Then it is for my personal qualities."

"Yes!" He said to her. "Narcissa, is there not one bit of me that you find in any way attractive or endearing?" he was frustrated by her. But even more so angry. Why was he asking her for praise? He didn't need her praise.

"We are going to have to wait and see are we not husband?" she asked.

"Yes."

"My lord, mistress!" they heard a house elf squeak. "Your father asks you both to come up to the house."

"Very well." Said Lucius and as he and Narcissa walked passed the house elf, he made sure to tread on his toes.

"Now you see." Said Narcissa as they went up to the house. "That wasn't very nice was it? Hardly the sort of thing that is going to endear you, as you so put it, to a lady like me?"

"A lady like you?"

"With a gentle heart."

They stopped dead in their tracks. She had spoken of her heart and she knew it had had an effect on him.

"Oh yes it is there. All you have to do is figure out a way in to it."

"Then there is one in."

"I can't give away all the secrets can I? Do you like a challenge?"

"Yes."

"Good. So do I."

"I see no reason in the world why if we are not all happy with this arrangement that the wedding should not go ahead with in the summer. What is the point in waiting?" Abraxas asked his son and the in laws. "Narcissa, what do you say?"

"I agree with you, sir. The sooner the marriage goes ahead the sooner the waiting is over."

"Eager to join our family are you?" he asked.

"Sir, what girl would not be? Everyone knows yours is one of the best in our entire society. I am honoured." Narcissa said flatteringly before looking down coyly.

"So, well spoken you are. Mr and Mrs Black, I must congratulate and thank you for raising such a daughter and thank and thank you for giving her to my son."

Narcissa looked down in to her lap at her hands. To her father in law she looked every bit the modest meek little women he wanted for his son and she proceeded to confuse Lucius enormously.

Was she acting all this out for his father? Or was this the true Narcissa and her real opinions. He wasn't going to bother asking her. After all, he didn't remember a single time when she had given him a straight answer.

"Thank you. She is our pride and our joy." said her father and his little girl beamed at him. "But you're right. I think the time has come for you to fly the nest my little one. Lucius? Are you happy to be wed before the autumn sets in?" he asked.

"Yes. Narcissa will make a beautiful summer bride." he said and his soon to be mother in law beamed and looked as if that compliment meant everything to her.

Narcissa stayed still with a moderate smile on her face.

"Then it is settled. Shall we pick a month?"

"The end of August?" asked Narcissa. "It would be nice on a cooler day and that way my younger cousin can attend as school would not have yet have returned. I would have Regulus share in my joy." She requested.

"I don't think that is unreasonable. Very well. End of August it is!" Abraxas declared.

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	7. A Perfect Day Wrecked

**Revised:** Monday 28th June

_Chapter 7: A Perfect Day Wrecked_

"You are going to see the girl today?"

"Yes father." Lucius said as he ate breakfast.

"I must, say you have better taste than I thought you would have had. She is as fine young women." He nodded. "If I had found her first then maybe she could have come here as a replacement for your mother…I would have gladly of taken her to my-"

"Father, I would ask you to refrain from speaking about my future wife in such a manner. Need I remind you she is going to be your daughter. Or as a daughter to you?" said Lucius more protectively than he had meant to. But he was not going to let his father speak of the women who was soon to be his wife in such a way. When he had said to her father he was going to protect her he had meant it.

"No, of course not." He said to him. They had together spoken of women in such a manner that he had not expected his son to burst up so much. Then again she was to be his wife. And she was different to the others he had known that from the moment he had seen her with his son.

"You really respect her son don't you? She isn't just another Caroline."

"She is a woman of the best virtues. And she has everything I believe my wife should have."

"I don't disagree. My boy, I have never seen you like this over a woman before."

"Because all I have been with is women before. Narcissa, father, is what we might call as a lady. I am going to treat her as one." he explained with a shrug. He did not see what else there was to say.

Lucius went up to his room after breakfast fully satisfied that he had told his father where the line was as far as Narcissa was concerned. He had told everyone that she was his when he had asked for her hand. And he had never been good at sharing things. And he was going to be damned if he shared her.

He flued over to the Black's at his leisure at eleven where he was sure to find his young bride waiting for him. And as predicated there she was in a yellow summer dress. Her hair was in a bun and she had white flat shoes on. Her dress went down just below the knees and her the skirt was pleated, over all he thought she looked very pretty.

She noted the bow in his hair, and how the heavy robes he always word had been left behind. He had a pair of smart black trousers on a soft silver shirt that matched of his eyes.

This was their first exclusive meeting alone. Every other time it had been by chance or arranged by others. And yet here they were. Soon to be man and wife. Alone…at last…

"Miss Narcissa," he formally addressed her.

"Lord Malfoy." She curtseyed in her normal fashion.

"No more, if that. I think we are beyond it. My name is Lucius." He said to her. "And from today hence forth that is how you are going to address me."

"Ok." she nodded. "Narcissa will be fine if you want to drop the formalities."

"Very well." He said as she lead him through the living room.

"Have you decided on what we are going to do for the morning, as neither of us could decide in our letter." Remembering the correspondence they had the night before.

"Yes. I told you I was an avid rider. I assume you can ride Lord – Lucius." She said.

"I would not be an accomplished gentleman if I could not would I?" he asked.

"Good. Then I thought we might go out." She said to him.

"That would be wonderful." He said though he noted if they were riding hard then they were not going to get a lot of chance to talk.

But when they got mounted and started going along she showed no desire to ride fast. Rather she stayed by his side and spoke of the different fields and her understanding of the crops as they passed the farms.

"You must have been riding out here since you were a very young girl to understand the land so well." He said to her. He had to admit he was impressed. He had not thought she was going to know a lot about where she lived. He didn't. But then she kept surprising him all of the time he found.

"Yes, I have loved it ever since my papa first took me down this route. It is the only one I have really loved. Am I boring you talking? I know Bellatrix hates it when I bring her out here when I notice the slightest change. Inevitably, I feel the need to comment. She thinks me a bore at times, I am sure of it."

"Not at all. I find it – touching you know your area so well. We are going to have to find you are new bridle path when you come to Wiltshire."

"That would be nice… I doubt I shall ever know it as I know this place though." She shook her head.

"Home is where your heart is?" he asked.

"Maybe."

He shook his head.

"What?"

"Why is it when I ask you a straight question you can never answer me with yes or no, Narcissa?"

"That would be telling." She laughed realising she was doing it again.

He smirked. Bitch, he thought to himself.

That was when she took her chance. She spurred on her horse suddenly, her laughter over flowing in to a moment of exhilaration. Oh, yes she knew what she was doing to him perfectly well.

He smiled. That was what he wanted. To hear her laugh. The two of them. On their own. Laughing together.

She rode hard trying to keep ahead of him. Snowy was enjoying herself too she could tell. The heat of the chase got there adrenalin pumping.

Lucius loved it. He had always been a great hunter whatever the prey was. Whether it was a snitch or a beautiful woman he always got his prey. Just like in the end he was going to get her. So far she was his in name alone. And he did not think that was nearly enough.

They turned round a corner where they found themselves by a lake. This was where Narcissa chose to slow herself down. Lucius smiled. This was a very romantic setting he thought to himself. The willows covered them from the world. If everyone died at that moment they wouldn't know.

"I think maybe you would forgive me for taking one mystery away and telling you this is my favourite place in the whole world," she said as she dismounted.

"Yes…"

"I have always come here when I have been troubled and wanted to be alone." She confided in him. She remembered how she had come here and cried after she had come to terms with the fact her sister was never going to come home again. "I wanted to bring you here because it seemed right when I thought about it. Soon I am going to have to share everything with you. I can start with the little things, can't I? And build up to the big?"

"Of course. I am glad you have." He said to her. So she was going to open the doors of her life to him after all.

"Shall we go and sit for a while as we catch our breath?" she asked.

He nodded and she led him down to a spot on the back that lead in to the pool as the horses grazed by the path.

As they sat he looked at her again. Her face was flushed and wispy bits of her hair had come out of her bun. She had no makeup on but needed none. She had a natural beauty, which was exaggerated by the roses that were blooming in her cheeks. She had lived the life of a spoiled brat. But she was a modest young woman. He liked that about her.

Before he knew what he was going he rested his hand on hers and squeezed with great affection.

Her eyes darted to his face. This was new for her. All of it was so new. But the warmth of his touch excited her. And when he pulled away she quickly reached out for his.

"Please Lucius. That was…nice." She muttered to him, ashamed of herself for admitting to enjoying the small sign of their unbeknown to her tender romance blossoming. "Don't let go."

And so there they sat till the sun was high in the sky, her hand in his. His was so big compared to her own. It was peaceful and relaxing. And she was suddenly rather glad she was to be his wife at that moment. She did not question why he was there. She just knew that he was.

"Your right Narcissa this is nice. I feel natural."

"Yes. So do I."

Every other time he had been with any other women he would have been done with her by now. She would let him have his way and then they would have said good bye and moved on. But there was something decidedly warm about this slow burning candle of their time together.

Everything was going to be done properly. They wouldn't go together till they were married and it went without saying.

It was going to make the night special.

"Shall we go and get our lunch now Lucius? I feel quite hungry." She said wanting to get out of the moment. If she was going to hold him in their marriage being tender and falling at his feet all the time was not going to work. But it was moment like those, when she realised part of her did want to be married to him, that they were special.

She had seen him all of about eight times. And she knew part of her wanted him. He didn't have to know that though. Not yet...

They rode in silently but comfortably, never even trotting. The peace of the day had been so relaxing for both and never wanted to disturb that.

"She is a beautiful horse." Said Lucius as the dismounted at the stables and he saw snowy in all her glory. "I see why you want to bring her."

"She is isn't she? And she has been a constant companion for me when I have been down!" She nodded, stroking her with affection. "She is going to like it up in Wiltshire with any luck though it will be a big but wonderful change. For both of us."

"All of us." He agreed.

"Yes."

"Shall we go up to the house then?" she said to him wondering out of the stables. "I hope you like tomato soup. I ask if we could have that for starters. Then we are going to have some chicken salad and finish off with some berries and ice cream." she said to him. "Is that all to your liking?"

"Very much so."

"Good. I know it isn't posh but let's face it when we are married it is not going to be grand meals every day is it?"

"It could be. I know that my mother got what she wanted from my father whenever she wanted and I do not see why that has to be any different for you."

"I learnt a lesson in life. And I think it is one I taught myself even though it is a hard one to be taught by yourself. It is that the best things only stay the best when they are in moderation. You can only enjoy the fine things if you appreciate the simple." She said to him.

"I must say I have never thought of it like that." He admitted to her. It was true. When he had wanted something it had been there. And he had never needed simple, because he had had more.

"Well let's face it, neither of us have ever had to go without have we? Being born in to the families that we were made sure of that…"

"And you wouldn't change that?"

"No I don't think so. I am pleased with the way I was brought up and I think I am a decent person. My friends all like me and I know people are there for me. And you proposed. So I think I might be doing something right." She shrugged.

"I have no doubt on that score."

"Good." she said as they walked in to the hall. "So what do you want to do this afternoon?" she asked him.

"I don't know. We could go shopping if you wish but we are having such a lovely day here. It would be a shame to go out to see other people, mudbloods and the like and let it be ruined."

"I agree with you there. I was thinking maybe I could read to you for a while. We used to do that when I was young, my papa would make my mama and us girl read to him. I didn't like it at the time but I think I would quite like to now."

"Very well. That's sounds lovely."

It didn't matter if they had thought it was a terrible idea. After lunch a summer storm had set in and with thunder booming and the rain lashing down on the window there was no way the two of them could have returned outside.

So Lucius sat on the sofa, while Narcissa took up her mamas stiff arm chair and choose a book to read aloud to him. At first he had to admit to fading it boring, but as they got deeper in to the story, he saw her really enjoying herself. He was concentrating far more on her than the book. Even the way she sat made him smile. And she had a pleasant voice to listen to, and it was engaging. Even though he had not had a big lunch he had to say he felt quite sleepy and it was nice to relax with her in such a manor.

Her voice changed according to where she was in the story, and he could tell her favourite part because there was something in her eyes then. A magic nothing could take away.

Everything had been perfect for him. Until they were disturbed.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS SHE?" they heard a well known screech.

"Miss Caroline, mistress." a servant tried to announce but she burst in.

Caroline soon read the situation. There was the man she had loved for so long lounging on Narcissa sofas as she read to him. How pretty she was, how submissive to his will no doubt! That wasn't what he liked; she wasn't going to hold him she thought irrationally.

"Is it true Lucius? You are betrothed to her?" she asked him. she was shaking she was so angry.

"Miss Narcissa is to be my wife, yes." He nodded. Had Caroline been thinking straight she would have heard the pride in his voice, but she wasn't. Lucius moved off of the sofa over to Narcissa where he lay a protective hand on her shoulder. He could see already how awkward she felt.

"Well, that's ok we can go to your father, we can beg him to call the marriage off!" she said trying to find a solution.

Narcissa didn't realise how sick she felt at that suggestion till she heard it. For one awful moment, she thought he was going to say yes that was what he wanted and then she remembered it had been him who had asked for her. He did want her.

"There is only one problem with Caroline. I do not want you to be my wife. And I don't want to call off my engagement to Narcissa."

"But … two years….Lucius we have had one row, you cannot throw that away. Please, my lord, consider what we have been and what we could do!"

"What we have been? What more have we been more than – what more have you been to me than a whore, answer to that, _my lady_! I am sick of what we do. I want something more. And you cannot give that to me, do not fool yourself that you can. That is why I have asked for Narcissa to be with me as a wife."

"But she was in my dorm room. She has heard everything that has gone on between us and she has been my constant companion these last few years. And now you are telling me you are going to betray our friendship."

"Caroline, I am sorry if you feel that way." Said Narcissa rising from her chair, going to her betrothed side. She felt a pride in him, the way he had answered, and she was sure she was going to be able to give him the something more he had been looking for. She wanted to give it to him. "That was not my intention but Lord Lucius offered me the place as his wife and I was unable to refuse."

"Because you have been in love with him all this time."

"No. Because my father told me what was best for me and told me where I should marry and I trust his wise words. I also trust Lucius to be a good husband to me. I need security for my future."

"Then you are a gold digging slut!"

"Take that back!" Lucius yelled. He would never stand for such an insult to Narcissa's honour. "She is nothing of the sort and I am not going to stand by and watch you slander her as you have."

Caroline stood there with tears rolling down her face, her loves hands on the shoulders of his new women. His wife to be.

Those words cut her deep. He had called her a whore. That was all she had ever been to him.

"But I gave you my everything! How am I ever going to get a husband, how am I going to tell my parents that you are not going to marry me after all!" she screamed crying. How would she go on without him in her world?

"Did I ever indicate to you I was going to marry you? Name the situation that I did and I will honour my promise to you."

She said nothing because she knew she could not. She had just assumed because they had been so close in her mind that he was going to take her as his martial wife. All those times when they had lay side by side in bed, taking one another...

"You didn't!" she said to him. "But please do. Ok, I need you and I am not ashamed to admit it! Lucius... Marry me?" She begged. "Please marry me!"

"No. I want to be with Narcissa." He said to her.

She fell to the floored. Collapsing in a sobbing heap.

By this time Narcissa's father had come to the room having heard the disturbance. He had been watching from his window that morning when he had seen his little girl and her husband to be ride out together. How well they had looked together and how well they had got on. He did not want that peace between them both to be disturbed not by anything.

On seeing what was going on he bent down and lifted his daughter's old friend by the arms, up and took her away.

But it was too late. The day was wrecked, the peace shattered.

"I am sorry Narcissa. I wish you hadn't had to see that." He said, the sneer from his face vanishing once his mistress had been taking from the room.

"She was only ever a whore to you?" she asked.

"Yes. There was never anything else between us. There was no emotional attachment. That was in her head." He told him.

"And today? This wonderful day getting to know you my lord – has this all been in my head?" she asked.

"No. Today was as real for me as I hope it has been for you. I am a man of my word, Narcissa. You can trust me. I have promised to honour you, marry you and protect you. That is precisely what I am going to do."

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	8. The Turbulence Of Courting

**Revised**: Tuesday 29th June 2010

_Chapter 8: The Turbulence of Courting_

"So, apart from the unwanted interruption the two of you had a wonderful day?" asked Izzy.

"Yes, we did. By the end of it I was even thinking that he is just what a man ought to be. Able to listen to me, handsome, wealthy. No, this is the right thing for me to do." Said Cissy. She knew she wanted to be Malfoy's wife now. She was sure of it.

"I know it is, you do not have to convince anyone but yourself. And maybe Caroline. But I guess you are not going to be talking to her much now."

"I doubt it. We were never really close and I have to be concerned with getting this marriage off on the right foot. I cannot wasted time on her."

"Good girl. That is the right thing for you to do I am also sure of it. Now, come on are we going shopping or what?" she asked.

The two girls were going to Diagon Alley for the day. Izzy had to get an outfit for the big day and Narcissa needed to calm herself after she had seen Caroline in such a state.

She had to admit that Lucius behaviour towards the women had indeed worried her. He had seen so angry and beast like when he had been yelling at her and he certainly had not given the girl of a shred of respect. So what if? One day when she fell from favour with him? Was she going to end up a sobbing bundle on the floor? Was he going to show her no mercy? She might be sure of her marriage in her mind but...

The two of them strolled down Diagon Alley at their leisure. They no longer had time restraints.

"Izzy, can I ask you something? I mean really personal." She said.

"Well, I should hope so. We have been friends for god knows how long."

"How far have you gone with a man? I mean really gone."

"A bit of kissing, a bit of touching, nothing that is going to compromise me when I look for a husband. Just all the superficial stuff that is going to have no effect on later life, though it may have prepared me a little for what is to come. Why?"

"I have a wedding night coming up."

"That's true – oh god, Cissy you are going to have to do it!"

"Yes. My point exactly."

"Why don't you talk to Bellatrix? She might be able to help." she shook her head.

"We never spoke of that sort of thing….but I know who I could talk to about all this."

"Who?"

"If she was here, I'd go to Andromeda. But I guess that is out of the question…" she wondered.

"Why: if you could get to her and back without being caught then why on earth she you not go to her?"

Narcissa looked at her in that moment as if she was mad. She had to be sure. There was no way she could. Not now.

If Lucius found out…

"It could endanger my marriage if went to her."

"Yes but if it was an 'accidental meeting' you could hardly avoid it could you."

"Izzy!"

"Well, it is true."

"But she is a blood traitor."

"And she is your sister. I think in this instant that is going to be the more important thing."

"No. No, I have to think of my own well being. And she is the one who left me, not the other way round." She said as she shook her head. She was going to do nothing which would compromise her in the eyes of the Malfoy's.

"Well if you are sure."

"I am."

"Ok." But she knew Narcissa too well not to know she was having doubts.

Druella went in to her daughter's room. She had been in bed most of the day. She knew it wasn't going to be long now; the doctors had said was much to her and her husband when they had visited. All she wanted to do now was live long enough to see her baby settled. Then she could sleep easily.

"Did you and Izzy have a good day shopping?" she asked.

"Oh, she got the most beautiful dress for the wedding mama I loved it!"

"Well as long as it is not going to make her look more beautiful than you on the big day."

"It isn't. No one is going to look better than me with any luck on my big day."

"That is the attitude to have, my dear. Narcissa, your Father and I spoke to Lord Malfoy today. A date has been set."

"A date for the wedding?"

"Well of course a date for the wedding, what other date would the three of us set together?"

"Well, then come on mama, tell me what it is!" she said as she sat on the bed with a smile on her faced.

"The 28th of this month, four weeks time." she said as she took her daughters hands and sat her down beside her.

"Oh my god. Mama this is really going to happen isn't it? I am going to be married to one of the richest people in our world. I am going to be a wife."

"I rather think you are, sweetheart." She said to her, brushing a bit of hair out of her face.

"How did you feel? You know when you were waiting to marry papa?" she said to her.

"I was nervous, and I was scared." She said to her. "There is no point in lying to you my daughter. Had your sister asked me this before she had married Rod, I would have told her the same."

"Only she dealt with it better than me. She didn't admit how scared she was."

"No, you both just deal with things very differently you and your sister."

"Then you don't think I am weak for being scared."

"I think you are brave for admitting your fear. This is not to be taken lightly though. A marriage such as yours….Cissy it is right that you fear it. But you are going to be fine and that is what is important to remember."

"I know I am." she nodded.

"Oh my dear, it is going to be so quiet when you are gone. I had three wonderful little girls running about here once. They were so noisy, I hated it. But I think I might give anything to have all of you back." She nodded.

"Then you miss Andy as much as I do?" she asked.

"Narcissa don't talk of such things. What happened to your sister what awful. Please don't upset me." Said her mother and she pulled away from her. She was not accustom to Narcissa being so insensitive.

"I am so sorry, mama. I do not mean to cause you any pain, it is just whenever mention her. I miss her…"

"Well you shouldn't!" she said to her. "Now stop being so foolish." She said as she stood up.

"Yes, mama."

"There is going to a ball tonight at Rutland. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me." Lucius said to Narcissa. He had come with the intention of making sure they spent some time together. If they were to be man and wife then they needed too. He did not want to know nothing of her by the time they were wed. In fact he wanted to know a lot of her.

"What, as a date?" she laughed. It sounded odd surely they had gone passed that stage as they were indeed to be married.

"Well, we do not have much time before we marry and everything goes to pot."

"You paint such a picture!" she said to him with a smirk.

"It is the birthday of our noble lord Salazar Slytherin. I think it only right that we attend." He informed her.

"And come out as a couple." She pointed out to him.

"Well, yes I was rather hoping that we would…" he nodded.

"Well, in that case how can I refuse?"

Narcissa smiled at Lucius. She was beginning to open up around him, far more than she had done in the past. And it seemed to them both that a platonic friendship was forming between them that bordered ever so slightly on romance. Hopefully that was going to make the transition easy for when they were married.

"Are you quite recovered from Caroline's little show the other day? I still cannot believe what she said about you, how could she?" he asked.

"Because she was angry, hurt and jealous. And she had a right to be Lucius. You should have told her from the off that you were going to propose to me, in fact I think you should have broken things off with her before you had even gone to my father."

"A woman is lecturing me?" he sneered only half playfully.

"When that woman is to your wife, I think she has every right too." She said to him. "You said to me you expected good and virtuous behaviour from me but you forget sir I also expect it from you."

"Do you now?"

"Yes I do."

"I am glad to hear it. You are planning on trying to keep me in line then." He smirked, enjoying playing with her.

"Well, I am going to take an active role in your life."

"I am glad to hear that too. So I will meet you in the Rutland foyer at eight o'clock."

"Of course, I'll be there." She said to him.

"Splendid. Until then," he said, bowed and took his leave.

There was no doubting it. That man knew how to talk the talk. He could have any girl in raptures at his pretty little compliments and his big words.

She was falling for him. And she knew it.

She collapsed in to the chair she had been standing by. Damn him, she thought to herself. She had never paid him attention before. And yet now after a few days of his company she was thinking of him more and more. Almost constantly. Did she love him? No not yet, but if he carried on in the manner he had been since they had been betrothed then she didn't think her heart was going to belong to her much longer.

Fifteen minutes after he had left the room the door opened again and she didn't notice, too lost in the thoughts of her husband to be.

"Cissy? Cissy what are you doing?" she heard a voice come through her day dreams.

"Bella, I don't know. I really don't know any more." She said to her honestly as she got up to greet her sister. "There is a change in me. And I am defenceless to stop it happening."

Bella looked at her. Narcissa did seem different on the outside to. She seemed in limbo between fear and freedom.

"Did you go thought it when you met Rod?"

"No. Rod and I went to school together we always knew each other." She said to her. Her marriage had always been matter of fact to Bella. "Cissy I know this is going to sound like a mad request but whatever you do next, please don't fall for Malfoy." She said to her.

"Why not? I mean it is not like I am going to hate him for all our days. If I feel affection for him, it is going to make our marriage ten times easier I imagine. Why on earth should I not?" she asked.

"Because the man is an idiot!" she exclaimed.

"Bella, if I spoke like that of Rod then you would yell at me! I am not a little girl anymore! Do not insult Lucius around me."

"Oh please! You think because you have known Malfoy little under two weeks and he has been kind to you, all of a sudden you think you know something of romance."

"No, you are right I know nothing of romance. I know nothing of the outside world and I am young and naïve, and just as stupid as you think I am."

"If you think to love your husband then I am inclined to agree. That is not the way marriage works sister."

"Why? Because you say so. Please just because you do not love you husband does not mean I have to hate mine or dislike him. Lucius is kind. And I do _not_ love him, I don't know him. Yet…Bella, if you are here to warn me off him you are wasting your time."

Lucius and Narcissa walked in to the Ball together. They both felt a lot of eyes on them but paid no attention. After all, every time a new soon to be married couple came out together they were always the centre of attention. But a Malfoy and a Black. That was always going to be a big deal to the pure blood community.

She felt good by his side and confident that they were going to have a good time together. After all, it wasn't like they were not going to have anything to talk about or get caught in awkward silences.

If they got stuck they were bound to just talk about the wedding, which was there starting point.

"I assume your mother and father told you that our date has been set." he asked her.

"Of course, it was near the first thing my mama said to me when I got back in from shopping. It is a good thing you know. That we have date." she said to him.

"Are you looking forward to it?" he asked her curiously.

"I know you hate it when I will not give you a straight answer. But, Lucius I cannot answer that. I don't know the answer myself yet." she said to him.

"I think that is understandable. We're still not very sure of one another, are we?"

"Every thing takes time Lucius." she said to him.

"Shall we go and dance then? What is the point of coming to a ball if we are not going to enjoy it?"

"I could not agree more." She said as she let him take her hand. At least the two of them agreed on that.

They made their way to the dance floor. Narcissa had put what her sister had said out of her mind. She really didn't care what she said; she just wanted to feel something for him. Not love, it didn't have to be love, affection she was sure would do. A true and lasting affection.

They danced together for well over an hour until they stopped to get as drink. As far as she was concerned they were going to be fine after that moment. As long as they talked and never stopped dancing together then maybe this marriage would work.

As they went to the bar though she realised he had not let go of her hand. She didn't want to pull it away. The gestures were small and the signs were good.

"To Slytherin." Said Lucius as he brought her a drink.

"To Slytherin," Narcissa agreed. "Long may he rest in peace."

There were a lot of people who felt like that obviously. At least double the people had come to celebrate his birthday than had come to celebrate their graduation.

"Cissy." she heard a voice in her ear. "I didn't know you had come."

"Of course, I came!" she said as she put down her drink on the nearby table and hugged Chris. He laughed as she hugged him, enjoying the warmth of their friendship as he always did.

"You have been dancing with your betrothed all night I take it?" he asked her and looked at Lucius. "You are a very lucky man."

"I know I am." He said trying to hide the annoyance in his voice. He knew if they had wanted to be alone then they should not have come out in to a society Ball but he had wanted her to himself that night. That was all he had ever wanted. For no other man to even see her. But every time he turned he saw them looking her up and down. He couldn't stand it.

"I am so sorry, Lord Malfoy but I am just going to have to take Narcissa off for a dance." He said taking her hands and dragging her back in to the hall.

"I am going to be back in a minute." She said over her shoulder to him. She had no concern for what he thought of her going off to dance with another man clearly.

Inside, he could not stand it. To her, Chris who had never been anything but a brother, but to Lucius to watch him hold her hands and her body as they danced together, it was physical pain. A real torture.

She saw none of it though. To her Chris was just a friend and she Lucius was going to be her husband. But he didn't have control of her. Yet.

"I want to say sorry to you, Narcissa. What I said to you about the Death Eater meetings. Well I shouldn't have."

"No, you were ok, Chris. I know a lot of people go to them. Lucius does I think. And I know my sister and Rod do. But that just isn't for me." She said to him.

"But why not? They stand for everything we do. They want pure blood supremacy. Out leader, Cissy you should met him." he said.

"Will you stop it please?" She said to him.

"I am doing it again, aren't I? But don't you understand. That is what he does to you when you met him. He drives you on and puts passion in your soul to do what is right and good."

"I think I am going to decide what is right and good for myself, thank you very much." He had said to her that he was sorry for what he had done. But she knew he was not. How could he be?

She then did something she had never done before. During a song, she walked out of the dance. She didn't want to be with someone, dancing with someone who was going to be talking about that sort of thing. If he went to them, If Lucius went to them, it was fine by her; she was not going to though.

She found Lucius in the foyer where they had got there drinks. When she finally found him among a group of young women flirting and joking. She had been gone no more than three minutes.

"I am not feeling very well. I am going home." She said to him in the most polite of manors before turning out of the before finding the nearest fire place and going home. She was not going to sit there and wait for him to be done flirting. That was not going to happen, even when they were married. If she was going to give him the idea that he could flirt in front of her when they were courting then he was wrong. Very wrong indeed.

Lucius was furious. How dare she walk out on him? All he had been doing was talking. She had been dancing with another man and she had not given a damn for his feelings.

But one thing he felt for sure was that Chris had unsettled her in some way. It was not just him flirting that had made her storm out he was sure of it. He was going to get his revenge on Chris. He didn't know how or when. But he was sure he was going too.

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	9. Confusion

**Revised:** Tuesday 29th June

_Chapter 9: Confusion_

Overnight, Lucius had a chance to rethink what he had been inclined to believe the night before. He had thought his young bride was young and incompetent and not for the first time had questioned what he had done when he had asked her to marry him, if she was going to walk out on him at a drop of a hat.

Now that he had had a chance to think about it, he had decided that Narcissa had done it out passion. That was why she had walked out on him. Because she hated him to see him without women as he hated to see her with the men. They were, deep down, two sides of the same coin.

Now all he had to do was win her back and bring her around to him.

He was quiet looking forward to that. He loved to charm women and he loved to win round Narcissa. When he had been doing it the first time it had been fun. He was sure it was going to be just as good fun this time.

The banter between the two of them was so fresh and in many ways uplifting.

Narcissa sat at the piano at the Black manor. She had played ever since she had been young but as she sat there, nothing seemed to come out as she wanted it too. Every time when she had tried to play she had keep hitting the wrong keys and there she sat on the stool, not playing, but neither moving either.

Her mother came in to the room, but she did not greet her.

She had been disturbed at the ball and she had been unable to sleep because of it all night. In fact, she had cried last night for the first time in lord knows how long.

The first thing that had really upset her was Chris's behaviour towards her. She had always thought he respected her and yet it felt as if he was trying to get her to go to the Death Eater meetings when she had said she didn't want to go.

How was that for respect? Plain and simply she didn't think it was. And she was not going to allow anyone to disrespect her.

And then there was Lucius. She realised she had wanted him last night after what Chris has said. He _had_ been so respectful. She had wanted to run to him. She had wanted him to hold her. And then he had not been there. He had been with other women.

"Have the two of you had your first row?" Druella finally asked knowingly at her moody daughter.

"No… Something of the sort I suppose." She said to her mother shaking her heads angrily. "But it was no argument. No words were exchanged particularly. We didn't even talk."

"Ok. Other than that are you going to tell me what did happened?" she asked to Narcissa gently knowing if she demanded anything then her daughter was just going to close up to her.

"No, I don't really want to talk about it. Let's just say I felt like he let me down."

"That is a feature of married life." she shook her head. How many women knew that well, every one she had ever known be married for longer than a few months. That was when it begun. When the tedious everyday life did.

"Well, I don't want it to be!"

She had said it in a snappy manner that caught her mother of guard. This was something Cissy felt strongly about obviously. She didn't want to have an open marriage where he husband could sleep with whom he liked, when he liked. He was going to be her husband exclusively, and she was never going to accept him taking a mistress.

And then she thought she had perhaps blown things out of proportion. After all he had just been talking, Lucius and the others. It was not as if they had done anything.

"Why does courtship have to be such a struggle mother?"

"Because it is worth it. And nothing that is worth it comes easily."

There was a knock on the door.

"Can a mother not have a moment with her child in peace?" She asked under her breathe. "Come in," she yelled towards the door.

A servant came in, dressed in her dowdy grey dress and white over coat and curtseyed to her mistresses.

"Lord Malfoy, my lady." She said to her.

Narcissa got up from where she had been sitting instantly, suddenly interested by what was going on outside of the window.

"Good morning my Lady Black, Miss Narcissa." He said smoothly as he went in to the room.

His observation of his young bride's body told him all he needed to know. She had failed to get over the previous nights events as of yet.

"Lord Malfoy it is good to see you here, isn't it daughter?"

"Yes." she said on turning to face him. "It is so good to see you here." She said. "I am so _sorry_ for leaving you last night at Rutland, my headache came on suddenly. I trust you did not lack _company._"

"No, there is no fear of that but none of it was as stimulating as yours." He said to her.

"No, of course not," She muttered under her breathe rolling her eyes.

"I hope you are feeling better now." He said.

"Yes, I am it was a headache nothing more." She said to him coolly.

"Then perhaps we can go for a walk."

"Mr Malfoy, as much as I am sure my daughter would love to accompany you, she has an appointment with the dress makers today."

"Yes, I only want to look the best for you after all. We are likely going to be there all day, picking fabrics and styles for my wedding gown." Narcissa said to him civilly.

"Very well then. I shall see you later this week?"

"I look forward to it." but the coldness was again detectable in her voice.

Narcissa was on a roller coaster ride of emotions over that day. Sometimes she felt as if she was a princess as any girl did when she was trying on her wedding dress. Others she felt as if she was being sent to her death.

"My dear, are you sure you do not like this one?"

"Yes mother I know my own mind!" she would snap every so often.

Bella, Elizabeth and Izzy checked her for saying things like this feelings Druella who was only trying to help did not deserved it. The normally well mannered Narcissa was in a sulky mood, and all of them knew why.

"I know you do. Too well sometimes I think. You are not going to be able to act like this when you are married."

"If my lord husband wants a nice quiet submissive wife let the contract run a year until we can both be free of this vile bond between us."

"Narcissa! For god's sake what is wrong with you?" her mother finally asked. She was not going to take this, accept her behaviour. She was acting like a brat. She was used to it from Bella but not from Cissy. "You were and have been fine about this marriage. I know you have had a rough night, you were unwell and my darling I am so sorry for that. But, my girl, pull yourself together. You were rude to your husband this morning and you have been rude to me ever since. I am not going to take it. If you think, I am your mistaken."

Narcissa threw herself in to a chair. The dress fitter made a quite exit from the room. Cissy realised she had tears in her eyes. Everything had been going on ok till Caroline had burst on them she thought to herself. What if he set her aside one day? Nothing any one said even he himself could stop that fear in her. She had to play to her own strength with her body and her wits but she didn't know if she could. Not every day of her life.

Tears came on to her face.

"Oh Cissy dry your eyes!" said Bellatrix unsympathetically. When she had found out she was going to marry Rod she had been worried but no one had seen her tears.

"That is quite enough, my Bella. Girls can you leave the room please need a moment with my Narcissa." Druella said and they all nodded respectfully and left her with her daughter who she went over too and embraced.

"You are going soft in your old age, mama." She said to her as she softened.

"Maybe I am. But I think if I had been a bit softer on you and your sisters when you were younger things might have been different. I now see the need of reflection. More clearly than ever before."

"We are having far too many hearts to hearts of late." She tried to joke. It didn't work.

"When has there ever been such a time as the present?" she asked. Narcissa turned to her with those inquisitive eyes she had been so annoyed by when the girl had been young. She had stopped using them one day when she had asked why one too many times, but they were back with a vengeance.

"I have been wrong on many an occasion. Yes, I have and I see it now in you. I see myself in you, Narcissa. I have tried to make you so submissive god knows I tried to with all three of you girls but it never worked did it? My god, I used to worry about you all. And I was right too. I used to think who was going to have them? Generation after generation we, us pureblood women have been told it is best to keep quiet and to try not to intervene in the lives of our husbands. But what happiness has that brought us?" she asked sadly.

"Mother stop." Narcissa cut her off. "You are confusing me further. You have led me down this path. Now let me follow it blindly."

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	10. The Secret Meeting

**Revised:** Friday 16th July

_Chapter 10: The Secret Meeting _

Chris watched Lucius from across the room. The unspeakable rivalry between them had heated up since he had learned of his friends betrothal too him. All Malfoy was, was a womanizer in his view. Just like so many others, he didn't think this marriage was going to work. For one he was never going to be good enough of her.

Lucius watched the younger mans eyes on him. The two of them both cared for Cissy that was undoubtedly. Just like the fact he had won her hand was unquestionable. There was nothing any one could do about it. She was his.

Lucius had decided though that day he was not to be trusted in her life. His opinion had a lot of weight with his wife to be and he didn't like that fact. As far as he was concerned, Cissy's time of friendship with the boy was over.

"_I wanted to say sorry to you. I think I may have over reacted the other night, and I was so rude to you when you came to visit. I think perhaps we both made mistakes that night. There is so much to get to know about one another and I knocked you back. I was wrong._

_I beg that you come to dinner on Thursday. Papa wants to get the family together and I want you to come and be part of that. You are my family. Or you soon will be._

_If I caused offence to you in any way, it was not my intention._

_I pray you will come sir,_

_In disgrace,_

_Narcissa._"

Yes she was happy with that. She had said all she had needed to and yet she had not directly sorry. She wasn't going to either. It was only ever implied, as was so much else with the two of them. She had a feeling the two of them were going to have a complicated relationship.

But he came. She had written and he had come. And something which was becoming a habit for them was to go out in to a garden by themselves and have a walk which they did after dinner.

This time it was to clear the air.

"It was like you said. We both did and acted as we should not have on that night. Let's leave it there." He said to her softly after a while, breaking the silence, holding on to the hand that was linked through his with his own.

"Yes." She said. "The more I think on this wedding the more I just want it to arrive now. The worry and the stress is going to be so much easier to cope with when this is over. I mean there is going to be some for a while when we first move in together I am sure but when we are there and there is no one to interfere with us, it'll be easier. That is what I want now Lucius."

"It is going to be easier after the wedding that I must say I agree with you. All these formalities hardly aid us." He shook his head.

"And some of them seem silly and out dated some days. But I don't think I would want to go about my life any other way. The new ways suit certain people but I don't like them. They wouldn't work for me."

"So you are going to stay an old fashioned girl all your days?"

"I think so. There are some things I am going to do the new way. I plan to raise any children we have myself. I don't want nannies or nurses in our home. No, they are going to be mine and they are going to know their mama well. Just like me."

"You had no nurses?"

"Of course we did, there were after all three of us girls growing up. We have governess too. I think one of them is going to be at the wedding infect. But, no mama, always made sure to make five minutes a day for us and it soon turned in to an hour. When I have a child I am going to devote myself to them all day if they want me too. And even if they don't I am going to watch from a distance, just to know there safe."

"You are going to spoil our son or daughter?"  
"Probably. I don't really want too. You know me by now I think Lucius, everything in moderation. But when I know it is going to be my own baby. I think I am going to spoil it madly." She admitted.

"Not too madly I hope. I want no brat for a child."

"What so you are telling me it isn't a gene of the Malfoy's?"

Lucius chuckled. "You think you are so funny."

The next few weeks were quiet for Narcissa, in the way that she had no balls to attend and when she was asked to go by her mother, neither she nor Lucius no longer actually insisted upon them going. Her mother saw the stress she was under getting ready for her big day and Lucius saw it as a way to begin to end her friendship with Chris.

But her correspondence with the girls was as close as ever. Izzy and Elizabeth were always there for her. And she did write to Chris and got two replies for the letters she sent. But their friendship had already changed, and they had only been out of Hogwarts a few weeks. It did worry her.

The thought of life after the wedding was on her mind more and more though as she approached the big day. When she was mistress of her own manor and she had all the wealth that went with it her life was going to be so different.

She wondered what she was going to do with her money. Lucius was going to give her a sort of allowance every month that was certainly more than she got now.

The more she thought of the more a part of her looked forward to it. She was going to feel so unsure of it all for a while. But then she was sure to get the hang of it. And then she was going to ask the girls over for parties and she was going to be a wonderful hostess.

She was more than anything else though, going to keep the gardens as lovely as they had been when he had first taken her there. That place was going to hold plenty of memories for her she was sure...

A week remained of Narcissa Black. Then she was going to be Narcissa Malfoy. Her wedding was in a week.

That meant one thing. Seclusion. She had to spend the whole week practically prisoner in her parents' home alone, so she was pure and rested before the big day.

Well, of course, she was. A week in virtual prison was not going to affect that. She saw no point in it but she had applied herself to so many traditions lately that it seemed foolishly to complain about one of the last ones. Even if it did make her feel more confined than rested.

She was not allowed visitors or at least many of them, or those who got caught.

Izzy and Elizabeth snuck in to see her on a daily basis. They came at all different times aware that if they came at one time all the time they were bound to get caught.

So as Cissy dressed for bed on Wednesday night and heard a knock on the door, she smiled.

"You're late today." She called to the door thinking it was one of the two girls.

"Am I? I was not as aware of the fact I had arranged a time?"

"Lucius!" she said as she scrambled to get a dressing gown on. "What are you doing here?"

"I am here to find out if you find this seclusion stuff as boring as I do!"

She looked at him with fury for a moment that he had been as bold as to assume he could visit her at night. But soon he was going to be doing that any way, but for very different reasons.

"Lucius, you cannot be caught here, if you are caught, what they are going to think?" she said to him. "You know what they are going to think."

"What that we are doing what is only right and healthy between a married couple?" he asked smirking.

"Well, yes and sir we are not married yet!" she said to him seriously. "I want everything to happen properly between the two of us. Lucius…" she sighed.

"You want me to go?"

By rights yes she did. She wanted him to go so neither of them had their honour compromised.

But there he stood. He was in a light tunic, dark trousers. His hair hung on his shoulders. And there she was, in nothing more than a than a night gown and robe. It wouldn't take a lot. And then they would be kissing, touching, together. She had never felt so excited by a man.

She moved towards him not knowing what she was doing for a moment.

And then at the opportune moment just when they were about to kiss she shook her head.

"Yes, I want you to go." she told him.

"But I don't want too. Cissy come no I am yours, you are mine. There is nothing left for us to do but -"

"Wait my lord. Nothing for us to do, but wait."

"But we could - Cissy I am sorry. It's just we have been getting on so well - and you are very beautiful."

"And this is nothing but a test of my virtue." she said to him.

"What?" he said taken a back.

"Don't think I do not know why you have come."

"Because I am besotted by you?"

"Because if I give in to you now then you are going to call it off."

Lucius sighed. He did want her. And there was no way he could deny it. But she was right. He did want to know if she was going to stand her ground and she had.

She was a lady of the best kind.

"Did you doubt me?"

"Yes." he said to her. He had been wrong to do so but he had.

"I thought so," she nodded. "Let's get something straight. When I put my mind to something or say I am going to do something, then I do it." she said to him.

He realized he had not picked an easy option a long time ago. If she had not been such a lady then a woman with this much passion in her would have been a most wonderful mistress for him to take. His wife to be had a great spirit about her, and she was so confident of her choices. But then she had to be.

"I know. I am sorry I got it wrong."

"I am not. I am glad you came. You're right. These last few days have been awfully dull." she said to him. "My mother and me have spent some time together but she has been going out more than me lately! Do you know how rare that is now?" she said to him. "Can I get you a drink? Stay for a while Lucius please!" she begged him.

He nodded. Of course, he was going to stay with her for a while. She was a sociable young women who loved pretty dances and dresses and she had been alone for too long.

"Soso!" she yelled.

A house elf came in to the room with a crack. He was an old grumpy house elf who was lazy mainly but he had been there since Narcissa had been young. He had always appreciated her wit and had early on become attached to his youngest mistress. He was the only house elf she had any feelings other than hate for.

"Soso can you get me and master Lucius here a tea each without telling mamma and papa he is here."

"Would my little mistress get in trouble with her mama and papa?"

"Yes I would."

"Then of course Soso is not telling them." he had a low strained voice but he had always pleased Narcissa.

"I am going to ask mama if he can come with me to Wiltshire. He is loyal only to me. If it was up to papa his head would have been on a platter long ago."

"Then why isn't it?"

"Because I was eleven when I heard the news and burst in to tears. He was the sort of elf you loved as a child, you know the kind. The one who always gave you more sweets than your sibling's and used your orders to usurp your parents, he was brilliant!" she said to him. "So loyal and trustworthy." she shook her head. "There has never been an elf like my Soso."

"And you love this elf."

"He is an elf, of course I do not love him as I would another person. But yes I have a place for him in my life. And he is going to continue to serve me when I go to Wiltshire I hope. You'll let him wont you?"

"If that is what your heart desires."

It was. When she got too Wiltshire she was going to need something familiar with her. And that was the purpose of her tlking him and Snowy. To keep a like there with her child hood and her old family. There was however no reason she wasn't going to be happy with him.

"It is." she said sitting by him.

A comfortable peaceful silence took them which was only broken by his declaration.

"I am going to look after you, you know. You're going to be fine. And there is nothing to be worried about."

She nodded, and took one of his hands in her.

She came to a realization that day. She did something she never thought she would do.

She trusted him.

The two got away with spending the night together there. Soso did as his mistress had asked without fault and he had not alerted Mr and Mrs Black. The too soon to be newlyweds sat together on the sofa for quite some time.

"I don't think we should see one another before wedding again. It might be bad luck." Said Narcissa as two o'clock came about.

"No, maybe not. And we have been lucky tonight not to get caught. To push it again would be foolish." He agreed solemnly.

"So this is good bye?" she asked.

"Only for three days. Three days time and no one is going to be able to split us up ever again."

"Careful Malfoy. You sound as if you are looking forward to it."

"I am. Aren't you?"

"A day when all eyes are on us? Yes I think I am. We look well together, my lord."

"But what about the after effects of that day. Are you looking forward to them?"

She gave him the playful smirk that he was already becoming so accustom to. "I don't think I care to divulge the information!"

He grabbed the top of her arm violently. She was shocked by this as but did not back off. There was a passion, which was fiery in his eyes. She had wound him up as far as he was going to go.

"My lord, if you don't know by my actions that I am indeed looking forward to being your wife, then you are nothing. I asked you to stay with me tonight did I not?" she asked.

"I know. You did, of course you did." He said as he loosening his grip and run his fingers down her arm till they were hand in hand.

"This marriage is going to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me, my lord. I am sorry if I play about too much for your liking."

"No, no you don't of course you don't. I just – I need straight answers some times. Please see that."

"I will. I promise you I am going to be a good wife and I will try to be the women you need me to be."

"Just be you. Just be yourself."

_Please review!_


	11. A Love Match

**Revised: **Friday 16th July

_Chapter 11: A Love Match_

"I am getting married today."

She had to get it out of her mouth as soon as she woke up for some reason.

This was going to be the biggest day of her life.

She woke with the strangest feeling though. She was in limbo over it all still. She was happy and she was nervous as well as terrified and scared. But, most of all, she was excited.

She opened her eyes to find what had woken her. Already people were in her room getting the preparations under way.

Elizabeth, Izzy and Bella were also there. None of them were in there wedding out fits yet but were pouring champagne when Izzy noted the bride had awoken.

"Come on, you, up!" she said to her. "No time for a lay in today!"

She sat up with a smile on her face. No, there was not. She had to get herself looking stunning then she had to get to the church on time.

"I cannot believe this my wedding day. This day has come so fast." She said as her sister gave her a glass of champagne.

"It doesn't seem that long since the two of you were betrothed."

"It has only been four weeks." she shook her head.

"Yes and you have been thinking of this day every day since." Said her mother to her as she sat down by her side. "How are you feeling?"

"Ready!" Narcissa nodded. That was how she felt, ready and relieved.

"Well I am glad to hear it!" said her mama to her. "There is no other way to face today than to be ready of it and it face it with courage."

"I don't need courage. Mama, I trust Lucius to look after and be good to me when we are married. My life begins today as far as I am concerned. Really it does." She said to her.

"That's the spirit my girl!" she said to her. "Now up, out of bed and go get washed." She said to her.

Narcissa was surprised how many extras maids her mother had brought in for the work that had to be done that day.

As soon as she went out in to the corridors everyone was asking her what she wanted and if she was ok.

It got quite annoying very quickly.

She went in to the bathroom where she found a tub had already been drawn for her which she was grateful for and so she got in for a soak.

She wanted to let go and relax. But there was no way that was going to happen. Narcissa felt far too many emotions to be able to relax. And knowing all her friends and mother were in her room made her nervous for some odd reason.

She went back down to her room with in twenty minutes in her dressing gown to find her auntie head arrived.  
"Is my cousin and uncle down stairs?" She checked with her as they kissed.

"Well, of course they are. They are not going to miss today for the world." Said her aunt as she caressed her cheek,

"Good." she said as she went over to get her drink. "I want today to be perfect." She concluded.

"Well, with you as the bride, I am sure it is going to be." she said to her

"Cissy," her mother said who had popped out of the room for a moment. "The hair dresser is here, as is Christopher!" she said to her.

"Chris? Why has he come here he said he was going to be meeting us at the church."

"Cissy?" he asked as he went sheepishly in to her room. His breathe was taking away for a moment. "You are not even in your dress yet and you look stunning." He said to her.

"My hair is not done and neither is my make up, I am sure I don't." She shook her head. He was watching her sadly. "Sorry but is something the matter Chris? Is that why you have come to see me?" she asked him. she just wanted today to go to plan; no surprises.

He nodded, before looking about at her friends and family.

"Ladies will you give us a moment please?" she asked.

"Ok." Said Izzy as she got up. "But don't take too long. We have to get her ready." She told him and he nodded.

"This isn't going to take long don't worry," he said and waited till they were out before he spoke again. "Cissy there is no easy way to tell you this so I am just going to say it. I am not going to be at the church today."

Her face fell. He had never seen such disappointment on any ones face and the thought he had caused it on her hurt.

"Cissy I am so sorry!" he said and moved forward to embrace her but she stepped back.

"No, no it's ok." She said in a voice that made him sure it was not. She didn't want to be held by any man but her husband that day. She knew the two of them should not even be alone together now. Not when she was still in her dressing gown no less.

"If it could have been avoided, I would have but Cissy!"

"What is it though? I think you owe me that much, how long have we been friends? We have always been there for one another and now you come to me on the morning of quite simply the biggest day of my life and tell me you are not going to be there. What the hell Chris?" she said losing her composure for a moment.

"I have been given a mission by the Dark Lord. I have to leave for it immediately." He explained.

"So he means more to you these days than I do?"

"Don't be so stupid Narcissa, it doesn't suit you."

"Well, that is what it feels like. I know we have had a few fights lately but I really want you to be there with me!" She said to him.

"And if I had my way then I would be there with you too." He nodded. "But Narcissa that can't happen now."

"Ok then. Go now please." she said turning away from him.

"But Narcissa there's something else, the reason why I think this has happened."

"Fine, tell me what it is." She said not turning to face him.

"I think the Dark Lord was requested to do this by Lucius." He said quietly.

"What? Rubbish! He would never do that! He knows what today and what you mean to me. Just because you are not going to be there do not try and get me angry with him because today of all days it is not going to work! He is my husband; don't you dare talk of him in such a manor to me." she said to him viciously. "he is ten times the man you are. Mama," she said as she went to the door.

"Yes Cissy?" she asked,

"Chris is done here, can my hair be done now?" she asked.

"But Cissy I need to explain."

"No Chris, you don't, I have told you it is fine. You go and do what you have too and I shall see you in a few weeks when I am used to married life no doubt."

"Cissy don't leave it like this between us."

"Just go! Chris. Go if you're going!" she said to him agitated which alarmed her friends and family. She run a hand over her face.

"You had no right to upset her today!" said Izzy as she went back in to her friend's room.

"Don't worry Izzy I am perfectly fine. Chris is just leaving. Come on girls this is meant to be my big day."

Seeing he was going to get nowhere with her that day Chris left her. She was right. This was her big day and he had right to wreck it.

Narcissa let out a slow deep breathe. She knew they had been fighting but she had wanted him to be there to see her take her vows. She had needed him to be there for her. she had never needed her friends so much.

She brushed back her hair and looked in to the mirror as her mother and the others poured back in to her room.

"Are you ok Cissy?" asked Bella.

"Of course I am ok. I am just fine in fact." She said with a smile. She was sick of that question.

She sat down quiet calmly as the hair stylist came in to the room. The champagne was flowing soon and Chris's entrance was forgotten. Narcissa didn't want to remember.

Why had he accused Lucius?

She shook her head. It made no sense to her, and she wasn't going to let it. The one thing she could think of was that he was trying to wreck her big day because she had turned down going to the meetings with him, which seemed a bit extreme.

Once she had put him out of her mind she found the getting ready fun, with every one making such a fuss of her. She remembered how it felt to buzz around the bride when it had been Bella's wedding day.

Her room on the morning of the wedding hadn't been so loud though. She needed to think so she had said and so they had got her ready silently. But Narcissa room was buzzing with music and laughter.

"An hour to go!" said her mother as ten rolled about.

"We should start thinking about getting my dress on. We are going to have to leave at half past aren't we?" she asked and her mother nodded. "Is papa ready?"

"Yes he has his robed on; I went and checked when you were in the bath." She nodded.

"Good." Narcissa nodded. "Very good." She said as she turned back to the mirror.

0

"Oh my darling daughter! Look at you." said Narcissa's father as he saw her coming down the stairs.

She was stunning. And she was a woman. The little girl he had raised was gone.

"Papa." she said to him.

"I don't believe I am going to let you go sweet heart." he shook his head. "He is in no way worthy of you. But I think it is too late to retract your hand, isn't it?"

"I am afraid so." she said as she came down off the bottom stairs.

Cissy had chosen a very traditional dress in the end. The silk material was fine and smooth, matching her complexion. She had a long train on the back and the sleeves cut off at her shoulders.

Her hair had been pulled back in to a soft bun and she had ringlets falling down her face. Her make up had been down so subtlety that she might not have been wearing any.

"You are a young woman. Not my little girl." he nodded.

"Rubbish. I am always going to be that." she said to him.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You're brilliant my daughter. There is no other way to say It." he said as he gave her his arm and the two went in to the parlor where the family waited. Her aunt and mother were in dress robes, one blue and the other a deep purple, both wearing big hats. They gushed about her beauty and her grace. Her uncle stood with them and Regulas was there with his hands in the pockets if his dress robes looking cool.

He was a rather handsome young man.

"You ok Cissy?" he asked.

"I am cousin. I must say you're looking dapper today."

"You don't scrub up so bad yourself." he said to her.

"Good." she said as she and her father passed, and at the end of the line she met Bella, Izzy and Elizabeth. Her three bride maids.

"Ready?" she asked the three with a nervous hint of a smile on her face.

"We are," said Bella as she fell in to step behind the bride and their father with the two other girls. "Enjoy the day my sister. It all goes downhill from here."

"Bella, must you day such things?" there father snapped. "Cissy might have a successful marriage, and you have always been happy enough. Don't fill your sisters with doubt!"

But nothing could do that. Not now Cissy was in her dress. She felt every bit the blushing bride going off to met her beloved and live happily ever after. She could fool herself that this was going to be perfect. And she was going to have to act some of it, of course. However she was sure some of her happiness was going to be genuine.

Going out of the house she saw all the servants had lined up to see her off. As soon as they saw their young mistress they begun cheering and clapping. She was adored by them for her sweet nature and was going to be missed when she went off to her new home.

"I have arranged for old friend to take us to the church." her father said to her.

Cissy looked at the carriage and the horse waiting to take her. Snowy was going to be pulling her.

"Oh thank you!" she said to him.

"I know you would have had no other horse for the job if you had thought about it. But you have had so much else on your mind." he said to her.

"Yes I have. Today that ends though." she said to him as she got in to the carriage with him and the three girls.

The weather had gone in the Malfoy's and the Black's favour that day. They had wanted her to be a perfect summer bride and there she sat as one in the beaming sun.

"Maybe the gods favour this match." suggested her father as he kept hold of her hand as they headed off to the church.

Lucius and Rod were at the church well before the guests begun to arrive. In matching dress robes they waited for the Black girls. Lucius could not wait to see his bride. She was going to be more beautiful than usual.

"No regrets?" checked Rod.

"You have seen my bride to be. How can any one regret asking for her hand?" he shook his head.

"I agree." he nodded.

"Why, do you ever regret asking for Bellatrix?"

"I never got a choice in it, did I? My mother and my father sorted it with the Blacks. But no I don't _think_ I'd swap her."

The church was decorated with the same red roses that were going to be in his bride's bouquet. He was ready. He just wanted them to be man and wife now.

Over the next twenty minutes the church begun to fill. Everyone was given him reassuring smiles. He didn't need it though. He was sure they were going fine.

At last eleven o'clock came and the vicar who was performing the service came to him.

"Your bride is here, and is ready. Are you happy to begin now?"

He looked down the pew where his father and his best friend sat.

"Yes." Abraxas said to him. "You're ready aren't you son?"

"Yes I am."

The three of them stood up. The congregation followed their lead. The organ begun to play and the wedding of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black begun.

He turned about to look down the aisle and there she was in her white dress. She looked to put it in its simplest terms like an angel. A complete angel.

His angel.

She had a smile on her face as she saw him. The man she had thought looked like a prince from the moment they had begun their courtship. And he really did look so handsome and strong as he stood there waiting for her.

She was thrilled they were marrying one another. She was thrilled he was hers. She dared to admit to herself she had feelings stronger than friendship.

Suddenly she was by his side. They were standing together. They were facing the future together.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Lucius and Narcissa. They have attended there bonding ceremony, they have pledged themselves to one another and now all that remains is for them to take their vows, the vows that are to steadfast them through the long and happy years that no doubt await them. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a bond that takes two people and binds them as one. The commitment these two young people make to one another is one of the truest sanctimony. It is to be the rock when things get too rough. It is to be a refuge from any storm. It is to be a place of peace should this world go to war. Lucius asked for Narcissa's hand. Now we will watch her give it to him. But first I must ask if either the groom, his bride or the congregation know of any lawful reason why this ceremony legally should not take place."

Silence overcome the church to Narcissa's relief. There was nothing to stop them going ahead. She was thrilled.

Here she was. Ready to be Mrs Malfoy. They turned to face one another.

"Do you Narcissa promise to love Lucius, to be faithful to him, to honour him, to nurse and comfort him as long as you both should live?"

"I do." she whispered. Her heart was pounding and her stomach was doing back flips. It was then her cool hand took his and slid a ring to his finger.

"And do you Lucius promise to love Narcissa, to comfort her, to protect her, to cherish her and to take care of her, as long as you both should live?"

"I do." his voice sounded strong and confident, his chest was bursting with pride.

The two glanced nervously at one another. His hand raised hers and put the silver band on to her slender fingers. When their hands returned to their sides they didn't let go of one another.

"Before this congregation the two of you have declared your feelings for one another. You have promised to be good to one another and to keep and nurture your feelings throughout your days. Therefore, without further ado I pronounce you man and wife. I do believe it is now customary to kiss the bride."

Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief for a single moment. They were man and wife. This was it. Her name was now Mrs Malfoy. She was Mrs Narcissa Malfoy. Then her stomach clenched. They had never kissed before. Never had their lips met.

She looked up in to his face. He was smirking in a devilish way. But there was a truth in his eyes.

His face moved towards her and with a giggle she leant in.

There was no fireworks, the heavens did not open and the world wasn't wholly right in itself, but at that moment Narcissa felt she might die with happiness. It was only a single touch of their lips but it was passionate.

As he pulled away he was grinning. "Thank you Narcissa." he whispered.

"You are more than welcome…husband…"

She could hear cheering, but all she saw was him.

The two of them turned, she linked her arm in to his and they walked out of the church. Everything in that single moment had changed.

Lucius and Narcissa sat side by side at the head of the table. The two of them were a king and his queen for the day, as if it was their coronation. And she felt like royalty. He had treated her as such and her dress made her carry herself even taller than normal. She was queen for the day.

It was hard for them to converse with every one watching their every move but they still found the odd moment together.

"You know I have seen some of the great beauties of this world, but none of which compare with you today." he muttered in her ea.

"Is this you trying to romance me?"

"Depends…is it working?"

"Yes it is." she said to him.

That day she let go. Nothing was to stop her falling in love with him now. And she was more than ready to fall in love.

"No more indifference? That was a confident answer… "

"There should be no secrets between a man and his wife. I don't want us to have secrets. Not from one another." she said to him.

"No, me neither." he shook his head. Under the table he squeezed her hands. Her morals, her virtues and her beauty made him want to indulge everything about her. He wanted to give her the world. How was it that this seventeen year old girl had him so wholly?

"Is it time we got on with the speeches?" Rod interrupted them.

Lucius sighed in annoyance. They had been caught in a moment and he had wrecked it. Still there was plenty of time for them to have moments from now on.

"Yes, is that ok with you?" he asked his wife.

"Of course it is." she said agreeing with him.

"Right then." said their best man as he stood up.

"Quiet every one, please quiet. Everyone knows the speeches are the boring bits at weddings but they have to be done," he said and every one had stopped talking and watched him. "Well I have known Lucius for quite some time. We went to Hogwarts together and grew up as brothers really. And, of course, ever since the day of my marriage to this beautiful girl on my right, I have been a brother to the bride. I don't think I could have made a better match for either of them, though it is a rare thing the groom is prettier than the bride." he said and everyone, including Lucius, laughed. "Serious though, the two of them deserve each other. They are two fine upstanding people of the right blood line who know what they want and how to get it. Perhaps there is at times going to be a little too much ego in this marriage, but there is no doubt in my mind they well teach each other, and learn from each other and grow with each other every day. These two are going to be safe in one another's hearts whatever comes I think. So get up on your feet and raise your glasses to our bride and groom. May they live long and happily together!

"THE BRIDE AND GROOM!"

Narcissa beamed. Every one toasting her, it was enough to make a girl blush.

Every one sat down except Lucius who had to make his speech.

"First of all I want to thank you all for coming today. We know who are true friends are and both myself and my wife are glad to celebrate this day with such admirable and beloved witches and wizards! Secondly, we want to thank our parents for making today possible. I know my dear mother in law has worked tirelessly in preparation for this day and Narcissa and I could not be more grateful. Lastly, I want to thank this lovely lady myself." he said as his eyes landed on his bride, she was beaming up at him. "She's one in a million. Thank you my darling." he said and bent down to kiss the crown of her fore head. Every one gushed.

"Nice speech." she said to him tenderly.

"Every word was the truth. Now wife, shall we dance?"

She smirked. "You know what I think we should!"

And they did. Together they were the life and soul of the party. Anyone who had come in on the wedding without knowing anything about them would have thought they married not for social standing but for deep seated love that they had for one another. Lucius was surprised how at ease his new wife seemed about him.

He was glad though. He thought of what she had said to him earlier that day. She wanted no secrets between the two of them. But there were, on his part, in fact there were many. He had so much he could tell her and so much he did not want too.

He wasn't yet sure exactly how she viewed him but it was not as the monster he was. Already since he had joined the Death Eaters he had killed, he had tortured. He had even raped one girl he thought to himself. A girl who might be beloved to one man.

As beloved as his wife was to him. If anyone ever hurt her he thought to himself, he was not going to hesitate to kill again.

She turned in to his arms and he held her tightly, enjoying the warmth of her body on his, totally oblivious to his thoughts. She was so sweet, so lovely he thought to himself pushing out the darkness that had overcome him for a moment.

She looked up at him, such was the heads height difference between them. She wondered what he had meant in his speech when he had been talking about friends, and if that had been connected to what Chris had said to her earlier that day. It seemed such a long time ago since he had visited her. Everything had changed so much. She was someone new now and when he returned to her, he was going to find her wholly changed.

She looked among the crowds who were watching them dance if they were not dancing themselves. She wished he was there. Not just him, but Andy and her cousin Sirius too. How she missed them that day! She felt the three of them should be celebrating with her. But as Lucius held her, she realized she had him completely. Maybe he was all that mattered to her any more. Just maybe, he was enough.

She was his now. He was hers. They were facing the world together and with any luck were going to be an unstoppable team...

"Just let him lead for tonight. Let him do as he wishes to you, relax or it is going to hurt you more." Bella said as she helped Narcissa get ready for her big night. They had left the reception and she and her mother as well as Rod had gone back to the Malfoy manor to help the couple get ready for the next big step. The consummation of their vows.

"Is it really painful?" she asked.

"No, not severely or not thing. Maybe a bit uncomfortable to start with but the more you get used to it the more you'll get pleasure from your husband. Just remember for a while not to show too much pleasure. Lucius choose you because you are not a wanton whore like Caroline. You are his wife. Moan a little but not too much. At all times let him believe he is the man and the centre of your universe, at least for tonight. Men love it when their new lovers think they are so good and chivalrous."

"But I am not just his new lover. I am his new wife. I have to hold him longer than any lover has to hold a man."

"You are going to work it out with in time that is what is important to keep in your mind. A marriage takes hard work, believe me I know."

"I thought you were against my marriage with Lucius." she said to her sister.

"Oh, I am. But I still love you dearest, don't I? You may be a married woman but you are my baby sister." she said and kissed her forehead. "I guided you through Hogwarts; all those days home we mucked about. I want to ease your way still. If Lucius is the path you have chosen, I'll support you. I don't have to agree with it though, do I?" she sighed. "Let's have a look at you then!" she said.

Narcissa stood up. She was in a silky night gown which was the most revelling piece of clothing she had ever worn. Her breast were visible slightly under it though it flowed all the way down to her ankles, it was going to be easy enough for Lucius to take off when the time came.

Bellatrix moved to the arm chair wear a much heavier night gown was. She took it over to her sister and helped her in to the rose patterned garment.

"I feel a bit sick now to be honest with you, Bella. What if I am rubbish in bed?" she asked her.

"Well, let's just allow Lucius decided that shall we." she said jokingly till she realized her little sister was being serious. "You are going to be just fine I promise you. We all think that on our first times. Now are we going to leave your husband wanting for you any longer? He was sick with lust for you today."

The two sisters walked down to the bedroom that was going to be shared by the married couple. She had of course been given her own set of rooms now that she was the mistress of the manor but with any luck she and Lucius were always going to be sharing.

As she entered the room, she saw her husband had sat down on the bed and had poured a glass of wine for them both. Wordlessly Rod left the room, Bella gave Narcissa a wink and for the first time, Mr and Mrs Malfoy were alone.

Up till that moment she had always been so confident about him that it was a worrying thing for her to be so nervous about him. But she was seventeen years old, with in the space of a month she had left school, got engaged and now she was on her honeymoon night.

It really was no wonder she was nervous.

He stood up and wondered over to her. She smiled coyly at him as he took her hand and led her over to the bed, where he sat down and gently, pulling her in to his lap and gave her the glass of wine he had poured for her.

"To us, wife." he purred in to her ear playfully making her giggle.

She wanted to reply, but she so nervous she felt if she opened her mouth then she might be sick so she drew the glass to her lips after she had raised it to him. She needed the courage.

Together they sat there for five minutes, with her in his lap. Up till then she had always been in control of their relationship. But now he was the one holding all of the cards. She had nothing left.

Candles were lit about his - their - room and the bed was covered with rose petals. The atmosphere was unspeakably romantic. Just like what she had read in all her trashy romance novels.

He put down his wine glass. Once she had finished drinking her wine, which had been a slow process as she struggled to swallow, he took hers out of her hands and put it down.

It was just them. Nothing left to stop them.

He begun to kiss her.

First he kissed her neck, making her way up to her cheek and then to her button nose making her giggle nervously again. His hand worked it was up to cup her breast.

He smiled and kissed it again, before kissing her lips. It was more forceful than it has been at the church. Unable to resist nor wanting too she wrapped her arms about his neck, trying to make him hold her tighter not that he needed a lot of persuading, and pulled her closer.

His hands were on her back as their kisses became so intense, and he could feel her back tense.

He leant back in to the bed, and she fell on top of him but their lips did not part. His desire for her was over whelming. The only thing in his mind was his need of her and how he was going to die if he did not take her that night.

His hands left her back and went up to her shoulders, where he pulled off her night robe, revealing the thin night gown she had on.

"Lucius…" she moaned under his touch. She needed him as well. He found the end of her gown and pulled it up and off of her as she clumsily attempted to remove his shirt and trousers…

Three o'clock had come and still the Malfoy's were awake. Snuggled together under the covers he had encased her much smaller body in his and she held his hands tight about her, as she looked up at his face.

Every now and again he bent down and kisses her, making her blush.

"I can't believe I am your wife." she said to him, melting in to him completely.

"Neither can I. I didn't think this day would ever come. But I had to have you. You understand why now I think." he asked her.

"Yes." she said to him.

The moon at that moment moved in the sky and beamed in through the curtains making him note something he had not seen before.

"Cissa…" he said his voiced laced with affection and tenderness …"Cissa , you're crying." he said to her concerned.

"I'm happy." she explained to him, and collapsed in to his arms once again. She was no longer tense or worried. She was only happy, because in that night everything had changed for her. And it was a match of love for her. She did love her husband. And she knew that now. And when she had come to that realization tears of silent joy had cascaded on to her cheeks. Nothing else mattered. She was his lawful wife now.

Until death did they part.

"By this time tomorrow we are going to be on our honey moon." he said to her.

"Yes. Where are we going? You never did tell me." she said to him.

"You'll see, but for now it is a surprise."

She nodded happily as he wiped away her tears, brushing them away. Fresh ones replaced them but not once that night did she stop smiling.

_Please review!_


	12. Grief and Comfort

**Revised:** Monday 2nd August

_Chapter 12: Grief and Comfort_

Narcissa woke feeling warm, and loved. Lucius was sitting up, his eyes shut peacefully but he was still holding on to one of her hands. He looked at her with tenderness in his eyes as they woke up side by side for the first time.

The curtains had been opened and the sun light was brilliant as it shone in to their room.

"Did you watch the sunrise?" she guessed as she opened her eyes.

He bent down and kissed her. "Good morning Mrs Malfoy. Yes, I did it was spectacular."

"Well, why didn't you wake me?" she asked.

"Because I had no idea if you are a morning person or not, yet my dear. I didn't want to get you in a bad mood on our first day of marriage." he said to her.

"Oh, well for you information I am very much a morning person and would have loved to watch sunrise with you. But I guess your reasons are valid and I can forgive you." she said to him sitting up and snuggling in to his side as he wrapped an arm about her again. "And we have the rest of our lives to watch sunrises together now.

"Thank you so much for yesterday. And last night. It was all so perfect." she said to him.

"That's because you are." he said to her.

She looked up at him ready with her sharp witted tongue to say something sarcastic or to rebuke him. But she couldn't. Because she didn't want to.

Instead, she put her head on to his shoulder and smiled, kissing his shoulder every now and then.

She was his wife. Wife!

She didn't want to get up that day at all. She had had such a wonderful night she didn't want it to end. But they had to eventually. They had a honey moon to go on. She rose with him about ten o'clock and wrapped her night gown that had lay forgotten on the floor all night about herself.

Looking out over the lands, from there window she knew she couldn't wait to get our on the Wiltshire moors for a ride. She would drag her husband with her sure that she would not have to ask more than once. After last night, she was sure he was wrapped about her little finger.

Lucius came up behind her and kissed her neck again. He was so in love with her at that moment.

"Shall I go get our breakfast so we can have it in here?" he asked her.

"Yes, yes do!" she said to him happily, and before he left the room he turned her in to another passionate kiss.

His affection for her was like a water fall with all the warmth of a fire.

She was glad for the five minutes she had alone, willing to reflect on what had happened the night before. She, who had never been so much as kissed by any other man than those with in her family on the cheek, had made passionate love to her husband.

And she had loved it. She had adored it, every moment, every kiss, every touch! She remembered her sister's advice not to act to wantonly towards him or to openly show her pleasure in sex but she had found it so wonderfully that she wanted too. She had had to for she had been unable to stop herself.

"So where is this surprise honey moon?" she asked as he came back in to the room.

"Narcissa I have something to tell you." he said. The tone of his voice which had been so warm turned to pity.

She turned to him, to see a worried, sad expression on his face.

"What has happened?" she asked him, her own mood changed instantly.

"Why don't you get dressed? Then I will tell you."

It was in silence that they both got dressed for the day and when they were done she sat on the bed and he took her hands in his.

"Cissa, I am so sorry. Father told me when I was getting us breakfast. Last night …your mother…went to sleep and she isn't going to wake up." he tried to break the news gently."Cissa she is dead."

For a moment it didn't go in and she looked quite normal, though curious as if she was trying to get some hidden meaning out of what he had said. Then she took in a deep breath and turned away from him.

"When did your father find out?"

"At six o'clock. He didn't want to disturb us."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Oh my god Lucius." she said to him, turning in to his arms which he held her in. Her body begun to shake violently and then the most heart wrenching sob he had ever heard escaped her month.

There was to be no honey moon.

The two Black girls sat with their father. They may be married own but they had both rushed to his side when they had heard the news. Bella had been there before her little sister which was to be expected.

"You should be on your honey moon, my darling, it is what mama would have wanted you to do." the pale man said to his daughter.

"Don't you worry about that papa me and Lucius are going to go when things have settled down here." she said to him.

She had down a lot of crying so far that day but none of it had been in front of him.

She hated the fact that Lucius had seen her break down so soon in to their married life. She was worried that she had looked so weak. But then there was a voice in her head saying she had just lost her mother. And he knew how that felt. He had lost his mother when he had been about her age and so knew what she was going through.

He had assured her that she could spend as much time with her family as she needed to. Holding on to her papas hand, the three of them sat there together united by their grief.

It was then that there was a knock at the door. Rod and Lucius who were standing over the three grieving family members went over to the door, where Lucius opened it.

The servant walked in to the room, pale also from the death of her mistress and with a frail voice announced to her master. "Miss Andromeda."

The three Blacks looked up in shock as the girl they had disowned came in to the room. She had grown since they had last seen her and she was in jeans and an old jumper, but she had red eyes and had been crying too.

"Papa, is it true what I have heard, is mama dead?" she asked him.

"Yes child she has been taken from us." he said softening towards her in his time of pain.

"Oh my… why didn't you call me?"

"Because he has had us, his family about him." said Bella referring to herself, her sister and the two men.

"Wind it in, Bella for god sake the three of us have just lost our mother!" said Narcissa unable to believe she was letting what had gone on in the past influence her judgment that day.

"No, she is right. It is what Druella would say." Her father nodded. "You shouldn't be here, Andy," he said to her.

"But papa please!" she said to him as a tear rolled on to her check. She had come there clearly hoping not just to comfort him but to find comfort herself. Ted had no idea what her mother had meant to her when she had been young, all she had been to him was a prejudice bitch. And by the end that was the way that her eldest child had treated her, and they had not spoken in so long.

But when she had heard the news just like Narcissa she burst in to tears.

"No, your sister is right. Well she isn't your sister really, is she? You walked out on us a long time ago. Just because you want us to hold and console you now does not mean you can sweep back in to our lives. Your mother would never have had it. She has been dead to you for years, my girl I don't know why it has come to you as such as shook. You lost your right to grieve for her a very long time ago"

Andy, who had once, just like her sisters, had her papas over flowing affection showered upon her, could not believe he was being so cold with her when she had had such a loss.

"Papa please." she begged him as she started to cry not just with pain of her grief but also with jealousy for her sister

There they sat his adored little princesses, and he was holding their hands.

"No, I don't want you here with my girls and my new sons." he said referring to his sons in law. "Go Andy."

"Papa please, she needs us." said Narcissa she moved away and went to hugged Andy. But upon seeing her father's reaction she had turned cold. Lucius gave her the evil eye to as he watched the contaminated sister hug his precious, pure young wife.

"You're ok Narcissa." she said pulling back. "I have to get hold Ted, he is going to be expecting me." she said and stormed out of the room in a classic Black temper.

But it hurt Cissa even more because she had needed her big sister to hold her.

Turning she looked back to sister who looked now equally repulsed by her. Bella turned back to their father who upon hearing his eldest daughter slammed the door as she left commenced weeping for his wife.

Narcissa wondered over to her husband in a dreamlike state and wormed her way in to his arms.

"I am so sorry, I feel like this is all my fault."

"Rubbish, no one can blame anyone for what has gone on."

"But we should be happy right now. We should be on our honey moon. And yet here we are, me crying in bed you having to put up with me and this is only our second night of marriage. I feel so awful."

"Hush…" Lucius said to her gently as he continued to stroked his fingers through her hair trying to comfort her. She had crawled up in to a ball and had her head on his lap.

Her eye lids were cold with tears as she shut her eyes and tried to fall to sleep but it was impossible. She still felt as if her mother might walk in to the room. The thought she was never going to see her again was haunting Narcissa. She felt so lost when they had been so close over the past month since she had been home from Hogwarts.

"Lucius, what am I going to do without her. It was her who always told me what to do and how to act? Every bit of training I have had for society has come from her."

"Well as distressing as that is, I don't think you need to worry about gaining security, you are my wife now. And every situation you have always acted perfectly. It is going to be hard for you to get over this; it has been a huge shock. But it does get easier, I promise you." he informed her gently.

"Does the pain ever go away?" she seeked reassurance.

"No. No, I don't think it does darling. But it dulls. And one day you wake up and you don't think of them first thing. Then it gets later and later in the day. And then one day you realize they didn't cross your mind the day before and for a while you feel guilty. But then you know all it is, is life going on. That you have to go on because no one can live in the past for ever no matter how much we want too."

More tears fell from eyes as he explained this to her put she nodded, and was glad he was there for her.

"Lucius…thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I am only doing what any good husband would."

"Now are you sure you don't want me to come with your fathers with you? I can take the time off work I have it booked after all." said Lucius to his wife.

"No, you go in. We are going to need the leave when we go on our real honeymoon." she said to him as she straightened his tie. Despite everything that had happened she was still settling in to the role of an affectionate wife well.

"Is Bella going to be there today?" he asked.

"Yes, I think she is, where else she is going to be? Though I don't think Andy is going to turn up again. I can't decide whether we were cruel to her or not." she said to him.

"I think your father did the right thing. She is a blood traitor." he reminded her.

"But she has just lost her mother none the less. And then do you know what I think? I think she was the one who broke my mama's heart the first time. I think she was the one who so selfishly left us. Mama cried that night after she blasted her name off the tapestry. I have never seen my mama cry like that. She rarely mentioned her ever again. To us it was as if Andy had died. And part of her had…the part with any pride. But …. She left us for her love and how on earth can love be wrong," she said to him.

There was so many questions in her head and she had none of the answers.

The two wrapped their arm about each other as they left there from for breakfast. She leant in to him, drawing on her husband's straight.

Was this really there second full day of married life? She had been on such a high when they had married. And now she was so low.

"Promise me we are going to get out of here soon; I just want to go away the two of us. As soon as my father can spare me." she said to him.

"If I could I would whisk you off right now." he promised her.

"Good." she said to him as they walked in to the breakfast room where Abraxas sat.

"Good morning, son, Narcissa." he greeted them gently with concerned for his young daughter in law.

"Good morning." she said to him as she sat down and instantly an elf poured her some tea.

"Where is Soso?" she asked.

"I am here mistress is you needing anything?" he checked with her as he popped in.

"No, I just wanted to know you were here. That will be all." he popped out again.

Abraxas and Lucius both thought her having any affection for an elf even if he had helped raise her was crazy but neither spoke out against it with concern for upsetting her. Father and son settle for making eye contact, grinning at one another understandingly before turning to breakfast.

"Are you not going to eat anything? You need to keep your strength up my darling." said Lucius to her.

She smiled. He had called her his darling again. And they hadn't been alone. Their affection was public to his father. He wasn't hiding what he felt for her. And she was sure he did feel something for her.

"I know I do. I shall eat when I am hungry which is going to be later today when I am with my father and sister. Don't worry about me." she said to him gently picking up her tea cup. "I am going to be ok."

Days passed, but the grief lingered. The girls went to their father every day. So much had to be sorted out.

"Well that is it that, the funeral is all arranged for Monday" said Narcissa to Bellatrix.

For the younger of the sister she was still trying to figure out who all this happened to her in such a short space of time.

"It is going to be easier for us all once that is over and we can get on with our lives." she said to her

"Yes, I think that is what papa is going to need."

But Bella had been thinking more of her sister. She had put her entire life on hold over the past week. When she should be with her husband, she had not been able to break away from the Blacks.

"You should go home to Lucius tonight and tell him all is sorted and you can rebook your trip away. You really need it now."

"Well, we'll see. I think we are just going to see how Monday goes and if it is ok then the two of us can think about going off for a week or two but not before."

"Why not? If the old man needs something then Rod and I are going to be here to look after him."

"I know you are I know you are but the way I am feeling at the moment I would rather just be close to home." she said.

"You can flu back if he needs you." she reminded her.

"Yes but the idea of our honey moon is that it is going to be a wonderfully romantic time and I am not going to have to rush off to come home. We want to relax when we are there. No, I am just going to wait till I know it is the right time and then we can go I am sure."

"Well it is your choice."

"Yes it is." she said to her, dominantly before sighing. "Sorry, I don't mean to snap it is just well we are all so tired and so much is going on for us all." She said shaking her head, before looking at her. "Do you think we should maybe invite Andy to the funeral. I mean when -"

"No, I do not! You heard papa!"

"I know what he said but at the end of the day we can say she disowned her but mama was her mama too and I think we should let her grieve properly!" she insisted.

"I do not. She walked out Cissy!

"GIRLS!" their father had entered the room and he looked furious at his girls. "Why always so much fighting between the two of you of late? You used to get on so wonderfully. We should be pulling together not breaking apart."

"Papa, if you hadn't noticed there were five of us. And now we are down to three. No matter how you look at it the Blacks are breaking apart, we are a dying breed. All that is left is Regulas as hope for the future." Cissy said to him. "You know what, do what you like; invite Andy, don't invite Andy but I am sick to the teeth off caring." she said as she turned to the door.

"Where are you going?" he cried after her.

"Home to my husband!"

"And then if you please she has a go at me about caring for our sister, the women is impossible!" Narcissa explained.

She was in her husband's study pacing up and down stressed out. When he had got in he had been planning to get some work done quietly, but then she had stormed in, in her temper, full of spirit not half as graceful as he knew her to be.

Getting up he listened to her, poured her some fire whiskey, and pulled her in to her lap as she had sat on the first night when they had gone together. Only this time instead of bursting with desire for each him, all she wanted him to do was cuddled her.

"You must regret marrying me. All I have down since I have been here is cause trouble, not given you and your father a moment's peace. You must think so badly of me. Lucius I am so sorry." she said.

"Not at all you, have nothing to be sorry for I don't think." He said soothingly as he rubbed her back. "I do think you are worrying over Andromeda too much though. It is like you say. She did walk out on you."

"Oh I know, I know, I know. I wish mama was here. She'd tell me what to do. But if mama was here then none off this would be happening," she sighed exhaustedly.

"Come on you." he said getting up.

"What Lucius where are we going? No I just want to stay here please."

"No, come on wife." he said to her.

Half an hour later and she was glad she had gone with him. She was in a nice hot bubble bath, and he sat by her side, rubbing the hot water over her back was a flannel.

Whatever stress she had come in with had left her and she was glad to have him with her.

"Thank you for this." she said shutting her eyes sleepy.

"I think you needed it my dear." he said to her.

She nodded and he leant forward to kiss her nose making her smile. "I know it is horrible right now but things are going to get easier Cissa. I swear it to you." he said and she nodded.

"Yes I did." she sighed to him. She was going to sleep soon she thought to herself.

"Will you help me out?" she asked reaching out her hand. "And come to bed with me. I want to cuddle you husband."

"Ok, ok my princess. If that's what you want." she said making her giggle with his endearments. "And what you said earlier. Of course I do not regret marrying you. That is something I could never do. You're one of the best things that have ever happened to me!"

She was how ever suddenly aware of her naked state before him. He had seen it all on her wedding night but she still very relieved when he wrapped a towel about her.

She dried herself and put a night gown on before going back in to their room to find him in his own night wear with their curtains shut. The last light was dying so it was fairly dark as they settled in for the night.

As soon as they got in to the covers thorough she couldn't sleep and was suddenly just so awake. And she didn't want to sleep.

_Don't behave too wantonly…_

She heard Bella's voice. But it had been well over a week and they were a young couple. If she did not help him on in this worrying time for them how were they ever going to sleep together?

She took his hand and kissed it.

"Lucius can we - can we do it again?" she asked hi nervously.

"Are you sure you want too? I mean I know you have been feeling down….I don't want to pressure you."

"I don't think you could if you tried too, you wouldn't know how too." she said to him.

"Well only if your sure…."

"I am, I am." she said.

Lucius wrapped his arms about his wife and kissed her. It was so lovely to hold her again.

"I have missed you my dear." he said to her.

"Just kiss me…"

_Please review..._


	13. Heartbreak

**Revised:** Monday 2nd August

_Chapter 13: Heartbreak_

"How long have you been up?"

"Since five. I woke up and realized what day it was and just felt sick." said Narcissa.

She was in the breakfast room and had been up for two hours. She just wanted to go now.

It was the day of the funeral.

"How can life move so fast Lucius?" she said to him. "I feel as if I am in a storm and I am being blown about…nothing to hold too. Everything has changed." she said to him. Running a hand over her face she shook her head. Just when she thought she had grown up she went straight back to being a little girl in need of comfort again.

"I know. I wish I could say that you still have me but I am part of the problem. It might be easier if you didn't have to worry about getting this marriage on the road. I want to ease things for you…" he said truthfully. Maybe this would be easier for her to deal with if they were not yet wed.

"You don't want me to leave?" she said alarmed.

"Oh no do not be stupid I want you here with me, more than anything else. I just don't know how to make this better for you." He was so frustrated he could not. He wanted to be of some use to her more than anything else.

"I don't think you can. You just have to be here today, for me. I think I am going to cry and I am going to need you to hold me ok, that is how you can make it better for me. Just hold me darling, hold me." she begged.

"Any time, any place." he promised her.

"Good!" she said as she got up. She had to go and get changed and get ready to say to her mother good bye or the last time.

She chose a long black robe for the day. It was the only thing she could wear. It was light, so she was not going to get to hot. But her heart had never been so heavy.

Lucius put on his heavy robes though as usual. The two of them had never been so solemn.

"Can we go away next week?" she asked as she gave him her necklace to put on for her.

She was shaking too hard to do it herself.

"If that is what you want Cissa." he said to her as he fixed the clasp and then hugged her from behind.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"My family has a place up in the German alps. Very remote and beautiful at summer for walking and a snowy paradise at Christmas. I wanted it to be a surprise but I hope now it is going to be something for you to look forward to." He said as he finally told her.

"Oh Lucius. I am sure it is going to be lovely. I can't wait to go."

"Well all you have to do is say when. The day you get home and tell me you want to go, we can leave that night. Once everything is alright here." he said kissing her forehead.

"Yes. I'd like that." she said to him.

The ceremony passed in a flood of tears for Narcissa. She was in Lucius's arm the entire time.

The burial was even worse. She had to watch the coffin that carried her mother just get further and further away from her and there was nothing she could do to get it back.

Bella came over and put her arms about her little sister. The two made up without saying sorry. They were united by grief. They had to think of each other and be there; not push against one another. Not at a time like this.

"I am going to miss her so much. She wasn't always the warmest mother but she was ours and I love her so much," said Cissy. "I don't know what I am going to do without her."

"You have got me and papa and Lucius. You're going to be ok."

"But I am only seventeen, Bella. It is too early, too soon! I never got to say good bye to her!" she said as she begun to cry.

"Come here you," said Lucius as he came up to her and hugged her tightly, as she wept in to his shoulder.

Bella felt angry with him in that moment she had been doing a fine job of comforting her sister and then he had swooped in and taking over. There had been no need. Why had he felt the need? If he thought to take her away from her then she was not going to take to it kindly.

Rod took the opportunity to hold his own wife, seeing the danger of what was going to happen if she was left alone.

"Papa," said Narcissa releasing her husband as she saw her father by himself. He had got the colour back in his cheek since he had learned of Druella's death. But only just…

"I want to go home my dear. But I do not want to go on my own. Will you come with me?" he asked.

"Of course I will." she said to him.

It was then that the family split up. The suns had to go to the wake to tend to the guests but the girl's father insisted they stay with him.

The men felt frustrated by this. Both Rod and Lucius were devoted to their wives and neither wanted to leave them. But their father in laws orders had to be followed. He was after all, Head of the family.

As she apparated out Narcissa looked back to her husband. She loved him. She wished to stay with him but there was no way she could if her papa needed her. but her heart was crying for him.

Bella was not convinced by her father's grief any longer. He had been upset for days. Even Narcissa had got over the shock and he had always been stronger than she was.

The only times he seemed to be ok was when one of them were crying. Then he was a tower of strength. She had an odd feeling that he just wanted the two of them to stay close to him now.

"So when do you and Lucius plan to go away?" asked Bella to her sister.

"You should go soon my dear." said father in a rather pathetic manner Bella noted.

"No papa, don't worry about us. We have a whole life time together." she said to him.

"That is what I used to think about me and your mother my love." he said as he began to weep.

"Oh daddy, I am so sorry, I keep saying the wrong thing today, don't I? I keep putting, my foot in it. I just don't know what to say or how to handle this," she said to him.

"I don't think any of us do sweet heart. Your mama was the back bone of this family." He said to the girls.

"Yet that didn't stop you taking all of those oh so pretty mistresses did it papa?" asked Bellatrix. He could not play the wounded husband when he had hurt their mama so much in life. She was not going to allow that.

"Will you just stop it? Papa doesn't need this." said Narcissa to her sister. "Papa is there anything I can do for you?" she asked.

He looked at her. His innocent little princess, who had always been there for him. She would do anything for him.

Yes…

"I don't want to be by myself. I cannot stand to be alone Narcissa - come home to me, my little sparrow. We can say your marriage was unconsummated and you can come home."

Though stunned, Cissy was also in limbo. On one hand was the chance to be a married women with a loving husband and on the other wad the chance to return to her childhood with her papa. T

And he needed her too.

But when she thought of Lucius. She didn't think she would be able to give him up. Not now, not when he had become so much to her. When she thought of how happy she had been when they had first been together. They had been in love, she was sure of it. Indeed they were in love. She had lost her heart to him and she did not know when. And they had consummated their marriage.

"He cannot ask this of you. He is being so selfish to ask you to divorce just weeks in to your marriage." Bella said to her.

"But if he is lonely. I have only been wed a couple of weeks, not even honeymooed yet. Maybe it is not as real marriage. And yet I feel so bonded to Lucius why can't this be decided simply."

"It is ok, the old man is playing you can't you see it?" she asked her.

"I cannot leave him like this when he is so alone." She said to her sister with tears in her eyes. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Rained poured down the windows and Narcissa felt alone as she looked at her husband. They should have a life time together. But she had made her choice. She had not had much of a choice in the end. She had known what she had had to do.

"Until father does no longer need me my lord I cannot leave him, I must be a good a dutiful daughter. I understand that I am your wife and everything that goes with it but…I can't leave him. Lucius please understand…" she said reaching out for him.

"You going to leave me?"

"Only because I cannot stay with you. Not when he is in such a state. If you want to divorce me, I understand." She said to him.

In disbelief he shook his head.

He had had her! She had been lying in his arms and he had soothed her when she had been feeling alone.

"I am so sorry." She said to him.

"Of course you are, of course you are." He said to her. His heart in that moment had been torn to pieces. He was in love with his wife and yet he was not allowed to have her due her father going back on his word. He had never had her; he thought to himself, he had been deluding himself. But he loved her of that he was certain. "I shall send you Snowy and Soso." He said to her. Silently she nodded. "Very well. Are we to divorce?" he asked.

"Whatever you want."

"I don't want that. I want us to continue being man and wife…I'll wait for you and your father to be ready. No matter how long it takes I am going to have no choice but to wait. I want you Cissa…" he said and she nodded.

Knowing if she returned to his arms sat that moment then she would never leave them she stood there tight throated. "Thank you." she whispered.

He nodded, leaned in to kiss her forehead and left the room. Once he was out of sight her legs have way and she fell to the ground and cried harder than ever before.

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	14. The Truth Comes Out

**Revised:** Saturday 7th August

_Chapter 14: The Truth Comes Out_

"You are waiting for my sister?" asked Bella at Lucius. She had been to see Narcissa since she had been back in their fathers care and knew her sister was utterly miserable. She had been changed in the weeks she had been a wife. Being a daughter was quite clearly no longer enough for her, it was obvious she wanted more from life.

"Yes," the prince of Slytherin house replied in a quiet tone. Lucius had never wished to want her so much.

"Do you love her Lucius?" she enquired. She didn't even know where the question came from. She cared nothing for him and doubted he knew how to love even. He was hardly the warm sort was he.

"I have the most tender feelings of affection for her and wish her speedy return home." He said quietly. It was as awkward for him to talk to her of all people about her sister. Bella and he had never been firm friends.

"That is a yes."

"What does it matter how I feel for your sister now? She is with your father and rightly so when he needs her. But I cannot pretend I don't wish she was with me." He sighed deeply. That was all he wanted. Her to come home.

"I am certain she wishes to be with you as well." She said to him.

"You who was so against our marriage?" He questioned. He didn't think she of all people would talk to him like his.

"I can see what is in front of me…" she shook her head.

"And that is?"

"I think it is a couple who should be together." Her face was set and determined as she said that to him. She never had liked him and thought him unpleasant and arrogant. But there had been no lie in his eyes when he had spoken to her of her sister. And it had to be difficult for him. What he had said made her respect him for the first time. She had never seen him in the light before that she was then.

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"Yes papa I am fine." She said to him lying through her teeth.

But Narcissa saw her father begin to ignore her pain to comfort his. And she couldn't blame him for that she didn't think he had just lost his lifelong companion.

"I am going out for a ride ok," she said to him. She had to get away from him for five minutes. She should be riding at Wiltshire by now or be up in the Alps she thought to herself. She shouldn't still be at her childhood home.

She wondered if she was ever going to get to go on her honey moon. He husband was sure to be angry with her when she had left him.

And she missed him. They had been together all couple of weeks and she missed him like crazy. She missed his voice. His touch.

When she was not with her papa trying to ease his grief or trying to bring hers to heel all she was thinking was her husband. Because he was the only beacon of light she had.

She was hoping to write to him that night she had decided to cheek he was keeping well without her. He had done fine before but those few days had meant a lot to both of them.

She had so far not got Snowy back from Lucius. She didn't plan to be away more than two months and so there really was perhaps no point. He had said in his last letter he was going to keep her well excised. And if she was there then she had to go back. If she was there then those few days of happiness had been real.

No matter how much he contacted her and she wrote back she still felt as if she was betraying him by being here.

"Papa I want you to send Narcissa home to Lucius." said Bella on day as autumn set in.

"Why do you do this to me Bella, ask me to send the last person in this world I care about away?" He asked.

She ignored that comment. She knew they were on rocky ground at that moment. He did care for she was sure of it.

"Because she is not going to be her little girl forever; she is a wife and she has to be ready to be a mother soon." she said to him.

"She has to be nothing of the sort; she can stay here as long as she wants"

"Only she doesn't want to be here, does she? Anyone can see it! She wants to be her husband. You don't need her here, you just don't want her to grow up and get a life of her own. You aren't really grieving for mama, you just can't let her go. You want to make her as unhappy as you made my mother!"

"She is a young girl she needs to be with her family." he said to her.

Narcissa came in from the garden. She needed energy after her ride and had been on her way to get some food when she heard raised voices. She couldn't believe how her family were pulling one another apart since they had lost her mother.

"I am her father; I have a right to decided where she lives and who she sees."

"Not any more you don't! You have no right to use her grief for mama to get to her and drag her away from husband. She was starting a new life; she has a new world, new life." Bella insisted. "She should be there now!"

"But I am not ready to leave the old ones I want my girls back with me!"

"But we are not going to come back, we are growing and we have all left the nest or we should have."

"Not my Narcissa - she is a good girl and will stay with her papa."

"What, because you are grieving or because you just want a child? Someone to fuss about you in your old age."

"I don't think I have to answer that!"

"But please do just tell me."

"Because I want her to be here with me."

"Not because you're grieving."

"No."

Narcissa who had been listening at the door. She had heard it all. There was no way she was going to let this happen.

She turned on her hell and silently walked down the hall.

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"I cannot believe I was so stupid to think he was actually grieving that much and he needed me. Bellatrix was right all along and I just feel for it." Narcissa sighed. He was unbelievable. Bella had been right. He had been using her grief against him, "and I nearly left you. Lucius how could I?"

"Hush it doesn't matter. We are a world away from all of them now. We are on our honey moon. Just relax."

Narcissa breathed deeply and sighed. She shut her eyes and relaxed in to his strong, protective arms.

There bedroom up at the lodge was warm as they lay in it together.

The moment she had heard that her father had been lying to her she had left without saying a world to him and had returned to her husband's arms. She had asked that they go away and he just as he had said he would had whisked her off, and there she found herself in the Alps a million miles away from where she had been. Who she had been.

The minute they had got there her desire for one another came over them and so there she found herself once again naked in bed with him showering her in his kisses. She was so glad to have him back.

"If I am ever so stupid again you are more than welcome to lock me up until I have come to my senses." she said to him.

"Oh I will," he said as he kissed her. "We were apart, what a week? And I missed you like crazy." He pulled her ever closer.

"Well, I missed you too." she said to him responded to the very touch of his sensational hands.

"I am glad." he muttered shutting his eyes. "I am thrilled we are man and wife, and now no one is going to stop us."

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	15. Honeymoon

**Revised:** Sunday 8th August 2010

_Chapter 15: Honeymoon_

"Shall we go out in to the mountains; I think you are going to enjoy some of the walks about here." Said Lucius to Narcissa.

"Can we go on horseback?" she asked him with a twinkle in her eye.

"If that is what you want…" he said to her.

"It is." she said as she got up from the table. They had just had breakfast and she had been trying to put all thoughts of her family out of her head. She didn't to think about them. The only family who mattered for that week was her husband.

Ever since they had left Britain the day before, he had been if possible even more attentive to her than when they were together before, which she was grateful for. When she thought of all the attention she had had lately, she knew it was selfish to want more. But she did.

By the time she had got a riding gown on he was outside and two horses had already been prepared for the newlyweds and were standing with an attendant, waiting for them.

"You keep horses up here all year round?" she asked.

"Father does. Often he comes for the weekend. This place is rarely out of use." he said to her.

"And we can use it often as well?"

"As often as you wish us too, my love." He grinned.

"Your love am I now?" she asked teasing him.

"I hope so."

She grinned. They were back to their banter, back where they felt safest. She didn't like it when they got too emotional.

"Will you help me up on to my horse husband?" she asked.

"Of course," he muttered in her ear, placed a kiss on her cheek from behind and lifted her on to the grey mare.

He himself had a black hunter.

"Trying to show I am just your little women my lord?" she asked him.

"Not at all. If anything I am your little man." He said.

She thought of a very quick and witty reply in her head about him being anything but little but decided against it. She remembered he cared for her because she was virtuous. She had to stay that way in his mind.

He then went over to his horse and mounted with ease. He had been riding for years and it showed. It did with them both.

"I am glad to get you to myself at last." He said to her. He couldn't deny it and nor did he want to… she had to know how he felt for her.

"I am glad you have me to yourself as well."

September was half gone and the summer sun was beginning to fade. A small wind was haunting the mountain paths that the trod that day.

"You know when I left you at my father's I didn't think we were ever going to get here. I am so sorry." She said to him for what felt the millionth time. How had she let him fool her?

"I have told you already Cissa think nothing of it." he told her. It was now of no significance to him. They were back together.

"But I do. If you had been a less understanding man you would have left me and our marriage would have been over before it bad begun." She said to him. That was the last thing she had wanted.

"Lucky I am rather understanding then isn't it? You never have to worry about me leaving you Cissy. I intend our marriage to last." He was not going to give up on them at a drop of a hat when he had had to work so hard to win her.

"As do I," she nodded in agreement.

The two of the rode late in to the morning. They came across no one. The area was utterly deserted.

"Is it always this quiet?" she asked him.

"No, not always. This place is popular at Christmas."

"I bet it is, all snowy and white."

"Yes. It was quite a favourite of the family when I was a young child." He recalled.

"I bet this is a paradise for a small child."

"Father and mother seemed to think so. And I did have some of my favourite Christmases up here. We'll have to bring our children at Christmas time when they come along." He smiled.

"They are going to like it if they are anything like their papa. Lucius do you think we are going to have more than one child?"

"Well, the fact we have been talking about children suggests so." He nodded smirking at her.

"Would you like more than one?"

"I think so. I got lonely when I was young at times. I had no one to play with."

"I couldn't imagine what growing up without sisters is like. The three of us were always together when we were little. The 'terrible threesome' was what we were known as when we were young. Oh we used to get up to all kinds of mischief." She recalled with a soft smile. She missed those days he could tell.

"I think I am going to like this story…what kind of mischief?"

"Messing with the cooks spices was my favourite. You should have watched my father eat the gravy…he didn't notice us girls wouldn't have any till it was too later."

Lucius chuckled softly at the imagie of a Cissy running in and out of the kitchen trying not to get caught.

"Bella was ten times worse than I was though. She used to set traps for the house elf's so they would fall over and the like. I am sure at least four died because of her,"

"That sounds like the Bellatrix I know. I bet she never owned up to it either, did she?"

"No, never, it was only wrong if she got caught. And if she did then it was the being caught that was wrong."

Lucius laughed out loud. The Black girls had Slytherin values all right.

"You must have got up to something when you were a child whether you had brothers or sisters or not…"

"I wish I could entertain you with such stories but no. If I wasn't with my mother I was with my nanny. I never got the chance to be bad."

"I don't believe you. It isn't possible. You must have done something naughty as a child." She teased.

"I was a good boy." Lucius continued to insist.

"I don't believe it for a moment. Come on, I have told you so much about me and yet you never give anything away about the boy you were before I knew you."

"Frustrating isn't it?" he asked her.

She shook her head as he put on spur of speed just as she had that day when they had been riding sat that Black Manor.

"Yes, it is!" she said as she bounded after him.

_What does it matter who I was before I met her? Now I have her else in the world matters?_

The two of them stopped at half past one for lunch having shrunk a picnic and put it in their pockets before they had left for a ride.

The two of them found a big tree which sheltered them and sat down on the blanket there. The wind was blowing softly so the wispy bit of Narcissa hair blew about her, as she sat there in her red gown looking so beautiful to her proud new husband.

"I don't think it is possible for me to be happier, you know…" Lucius said to his wife.

She wished she could say the same. She was happy to be there with him, of course, she was but there had been so much that had gone on in the past few weeks that kept her from being able to reply to that likewise. She knew she could be happier. She missed her mother more than she could tlel him.

"I do understand." He said as he saw her struggling with her emotions.

"I really care for you Lucius, you know that don't you?" she asked.

"Yes." He replied beaming. "And for now that is enough. For both of us."

He moved close and kissed her nose as he had when she and he had first made love.

"I love it when you do that." she whispered to him, heart racing.

It was small and simple yet so affectionate. He learnt in and did it again.

As he stopped kissing her he wrapped his arms about her. Shifting herself in his arms so they were both looking out over the mountains she smiled. "This place is wonderful." She said to him.

"Isn't it just?" he asked her.

"Yes."

She shut her eyes as she lay happily in his arms, her hands resting over his once they had done eating. Nothing could get to her when she was up there. She was so safe; she felt it, safer than she had been at any other time in her short life. He was not ever going to allow her to come to any harm.

"Shall we ride on then my dear?" She asked knowing if she lay there too much longer she risked falling to sleep.

"If you want too."

The next day Narcissa woke to be told by husband they were going to go to Berlin for the day. It was wonderful. While they had been a very wealthy family when they had been young there father had not much liked holidays so to be in another big city other than London was delightful.

"I don't think father even considered taken us to France or to Germany. I would love to go to Russia especially. Father said we had relatives over there." she said to him. Ever since she had been young she had wanted to see a lot more of the world than she had.

"Did you never go travelling when you were young?" he asked. "Father and mother used to take me all the time when I was young." Abraxas had always been the restless sort.

"Father hated leaving home. I think it was because he was always too scared if we left then his mistress was going to be find someone younger." she said to him.

"My father's mistress came with us. She was his 'secretary'." he told her.

"Is it a rule that every pure blood man had to keep a mistress?" she had hated her father's string of lovers and she still did Lucius knew from the way she said it.

"No." he said wrapping an arm about her. "There is no rule."

"Good." she said laying her head on his shoulder. "If there was then I would make you break it."

"You wouldn't have too." He said to her. he had no intention of being unfaithful.

"I am glad to hear that. My mother used to get so depressed over it all. She didn't think us girls knew but we always did." she sighed. "I think he even considered leaving us all once. But he couldn't do it thankfully."

"My mother didn't even care about her as she got older. Her and father were always just friends, I think and they got on well enough for us to be a family. He had his mistress and she had her lover, there were always five of us ever since I could remember. Of course they changed from time to time." he shrugged. It had become somewhat of a norm for him. And the weird thing was they had all just accepted it – and had been happy about it.

"It is strange how we live isn't it? What one family would consider terrible the other thinks is a norm and is happy to live that way."

"Yes. What do you want to be our norm?"

"Me, you and our baby eventually." she said to him. They'd have too, he needed an heir and she wanted a little one.

"That is going to be nice. Just a few of us." he nodded.

"I am looking forward to it. Our family. Unlike going home, which I am dreading; I still can't think of my papa without getting mad." she said as they walked through the bustling crowds. "How can any father use his daughter's grief for her mama like that?"

"I don't know, sweetheart."

"I don't think I want to see him, again, not ever…" she said in her anger.

"Well you don't have too, not now you are living with me. From day one when we get home our married life begins. We can start fighting and arguing and we begin to hate each other."

"You paint such a picture! Well we are going to have to enjoy the next few days then aren't we?" she smirked turning in his arms to hug him and he begun kissing her there and then.

It was lovely to be out of the eye of everyone who knew them. So nice to be unknown. He was obviously enjoying it too.

"Shall we go get lunch?" he asked her. "There is a nice little bistro down the road we can go to and then I have got a surprise for you tonight."

She beamed.

"Oh tell me, I am rubbish at waiting for surprises!" she said to him keeping her arms about him.

"Well, then I am not going to tell you because you clearly need the practice." He teased.

"You are prime evil, Mr Malfoy." she said to him.

"And you, my lovely wife, are my favourite prey."

Lunch was brilliant. Narcissa was beginning to realize he had meant about the best of everything. He made her child hood look like one of poverty. The Malfoys were vastly richer than the Blacks.

"I was thinking maybe you might like us to go in to Munich tomorrow and I can take you shopping." he said to her.

"You have spent so much on me already," she said to him shocked.

"Well, this is the idea." he told her. "You see when a man loves a lady, he wants to dote on her and make her think he is a chivalrous hero."

"Thank you for that pearl dearest but I can't give anything to you in return." she sighed.

"I have your company and your hand. That's enough for me." he told her.

"You are a lovely man Lucius Malfoy. Your family is notorious, but I don't care what they say. You are lovely."

For a moment she reached across and cupped his face. She knew in that moment she was going to love him for all her days. They were in love.

"I don't need the money husband. I have you."

()()()

"Why are we in a hotel room when we have a nice warm lodge in the mountains which we could be drinking some wine and going to bed in?" She said to her husband as they went in to the room.

"We are going to go back to the lodge. This is just for the changing room." he said.

Some changing room she thought as she looked about. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room. There was also champagne on ice on the table and as she went in to the bath room she saw a huge bath tub. They could make use of that.

"Why do we need to get changed?" she asked him.

"Because my love we are going to the German opera!" he told her.

"We are going to go to the German - oh Lucius!" she said as she through her arms about him. "This is so wonderful," she said to him.

"I was hoping that you were going to think so. I had no idea if you even liked the opera." he said nervously. He had just booked it on a whim and hoped that she would.

"Of course I do! Mama and me used to go to the opera or the theatre whenever I was back from Hogwarts."

"Then it is going to be a nice walk down memory lane for you isn't it darling?" he said and she nodded and cuddled in to him again.

If Narcissa had ever been glad someone had come in to her life when they had, it was her husband. When she could have fell in to despair over her mother's death he kept her far from it, and there honey moon had come at the right time. He seemed suddenly wonderful to her.

The opera was incredible. Shopping in Munich was amazing. She asked for nothing and yet got everything she wanted. Nothing seemed too much him to spend on her.

The week went all too quick much like those moments. All too soon she found herself on the balcony eating dinner, knowing that they were going to have to return to Wiltshire the next day.

"This has been so lovely." She said as they watched the sun set. A cool glass on wine was by her side.

"It has been I think just what we both needed. A bit of time with no one intervening between us. Now, when we get home Mrs Malfoy I am never going to let you talk about leaving me again you are going to have to stay with me always," he said to her. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it.

"Well I think I can cope with that," she laughed.

"I should think you should." he laughed as he looked over at her.

He was so glad they had got married. Ever since they had got to Germany he had got more and more amazed by her every day. He wasn't sure if he would be able to live without her any more. Not now when they were so close.

"I am glad you came home Cissy." he said to her.

"So am I." she nodded.

He looked at her with adoring eyes.

"What is your favourite star?" she asked him.

"My favourite star?" He asked.

"Yeah. You must have one." She said to him.

"I am afraid not. I have never been big on astronomy." he said shifting in his chair.

"Well if you are a Black then you have to be I am afraid. I was brought up with a telescope." She said to him.

"And do you have a favourite?" he asked.

"Draco has always drawn me in." she said to him.

"Draco – means dragon." He asked her.

"Yes it does." she nodded with a smile.

She got up from where she had been sitting and looked up at the sky. The last light was fading. She was clearly struggling with her feelings that night. It had been an emotional week for her and he knew it. She bit he lip. She had been too emotional.

"Lucius…do you think she can see me?" she whispered to him.

At that moment the twenty year old man saw his wife for what she was. A seventeen year old child who had been shoved in to a world she felt she at times knew nothing about. And who longed for her mother to be with her again.

He got up from where he had been sitting and took her hands in his and gave her the honest answer.

"Yes…" he said nodding. He really did believe where ever their mothers were they were going to be able to see them both in that moment. "I miss my mother too. But I swear to you it gets easier. And they can see us. And they know how happy we make on e another." He told her.

He brought his forehead down to hers and they pressed together, therefore brows kissing. A tear spilled over both of their cheeks and together they saw one another crying. Tomorrow they were going back on show for everybody to see. They were going to be judged but for that night they were alone. And they were being completely honest with one another.

"If she is gone who is going to love me unconditionally?" she whispered to him. Her mother's love had kept her safe come what may.

"Me…I will Narcissa." He whispered was quieter than even hers had been.

The sun set at that very moment. The blood red that had been in the sky faded to darkness.

"Thank you." she said to him as darkness fell. The two of them clung to one another knowing that no darkness endured forever.

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	16. Home

**Revised:** Sunday 8th August

_Chapter 16: Home_

"Here we are my darling. Home safe and sound." Said Lucius to his wife as they got back to the Malfoy manor. The honeymoon was over.

She had to say, she would have preferred to stay on in Germany. She had had such a wonderful time that had she been told she was going to go on another better holiday she would not have wanted to go. She had bonded with her husband in that place and she felt as if they were man and wife now. Truly. It was them against the world.

"Lucius?" she said. "Before we go in and see your father can I ask you something." She asked.

"I believe you just did. But if you have another question…"

"Did you mean it, what you said last night. About loving me unconditionally." She said looking anywhere but at him. She didn't really want him to know she needed to be reassured, but she did. Even when she had been in his arms the night before she had been wondering if he had been serious.

"Yes I did – I …I love you. I am in love with you." he nodded as he caressed her cheek gently. "If you can't say it back yet, that doesn't matter. All you have to know is that when you are, if you ever are that I am never going to reject you."

She nodded. She felt it in her heart. But it was too early for her to say it she felt. And so she nodded, he kissed her on the forehead and they went in to the breakfast room.

She knew from the welcome back she had got when she had returned from her family home that her father in law had not been happy with her for leaving his son so soon or even thinking about it. However, as Abraxas saw the two of them walk in they were so undeniably happy that he forget his annoyance towards his daughter in law. She clearly made him happy.

"You are home." He said to them.

"Yes we are." Said Lucius as he walked in his arm wrapped proudly yet possessively about his wife.

"And you both had a wonderful week?"

"Oh yes!" his daughter in law. "Lucius was such a gentleman to me the whole time." She said to him.

"I should think so Narcissa." He nodded back approvingly. "I trust you had a wonderful time son."

"Of course I did." He said pulling out his wife's chair for her to sit down.

"Thank you." she said smiling coyly up at him as she sat down and he took the chair between herself and his father in the long breakfast room.

The sun was shining through the tall windows. It was a bright morning and a good start to their return home she thought to herself.

"How has work been since have been away father?" Lucius asked as he poured himself some tea.

"We have coped without you, and we can spare you today if you wish to spend one last day with your wife," he said to him.

"No I have to go and see my sister today." Narcissa said squashing the idea. She had promised Bella as soon as she got back she was going to tell her about it and they had many things to discuss. Their father was of course the key one.

"The honey moon is over then; but we are going to have to go out to dinner together tonight." Lucius said to her. He wasn't going to give up easily.

"That's sounds wonderful! I can where one of my new dresses," she beamed.

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"Well as soon as I heard him say he was not as hurt as he has said to me he was, I left the house and went home. Me and Lucius left that day." Said Narcissa explaining what she had heard that day.

She sat in Bella's private parlour at Lestrange manor drinking tea.

"Well I think you should have come to tell me what had happened but I am glad got out when you did. Of course he was furious when he had found you had gone."

"I don't think I care for how he feels not after what he did to me." she shook her head. She was so disgusted with her father. She felt so used by him. She had never felt that before and she hated it.

"But you had a good trip?"

"Oh Bellatrix you have no idea it was delightful," she said to her with the normal naivety in her eyes that she had had ever since she had been a young girl. She could not hide it. Not from her.

And why should she?

"And your husband treated you well."

"Oh yes, he treated me wonderfully. I don't think I could have found a better partner."

"Then I am glad." She said. Cissy did look ten times better than she had when the two sisters had last met. She was a lot calmer and happier in general it seemed.

"Me too." she nodded as she drunk her tea. "How are you coping?" she asked quietly.

"What without mama? It is difficulty but I am getting there…." She nodded. "You?"

"Lucius is helping me come to terms with it all." She too nodded.

"I am glad to here he is being so considerate. That is hardly the boy I know though."

"My husband is no boy Bella. He is a man." She giggled.

"I would thank you to keep comment like those to yourself." She smirked.

"Very well," she giggled.

Well there was no denying marriage seemed to keep Narcissa in high spirits.

"But you're happy?"

"In many ways I am Bella. I am contented with my lot or now, and I don't see why that is going to change."

Sweet little naïve Narcissa thought Bellatrix to herself. She was going to find out married wasn't all it was cracked up to be soon and she was going to be disappointed.

"Enjoy it while it lasts." she advised.

"Oh I will." She nodded.

It was then that Rod came out of the fire from work, interrupting the two sisters.

"Bella I need to talk to you, I got an owl at work from - Narcissa!" he said beaming his tone changing. He had been serious till he had seen her.

"I never owled you my brother." She laughed as he kissed her cheek in a way of greeting her.

"No I know you didn't, well that can wait now, your home!" he said to her. "Did you have a wonderful time?"

"Oh yes it was just what we needed."

"Good. Bella and I have been thinking about following your lead and going on as little trip of our own, haven't we darling?" he said as he put his hands on her shoulders. "I think we could both do with it."

"Especially if we return to Britain as refreshed as my sister is." She agreed.

"Then it is agreed we are going to have to go somewhere for a while. You deserve a break." He kissed her forehead.

"I couldn't agree more." Narcissa nodded.

"Well maybe in a few weeks. I would rather wait." She said to him.

"You say the word and we will get it booked and arranged." He grinned at her.

"Listen, you too I think I better be off. I have to go get ready to met Lucius for dinner." Said Narcissa. "Give the two of you a chance to discuss what that owl was about." She said with a playfully arched eyebrow.

"It isn't that important," Rod played it down.

"Then why did you come straight back to tell Bella about it?" he made no reply. "I shall see you both soon. Bye Bella." She said as she kissed her sister.

"See you later my darling." She said and watched as her husband kiss her sister and she apparated out.

"What is it?" she asked him.

"A letter….from him…" he grinned sadistically.

()()()

Narcissa told Lucius what she had seen as soon as she got home. Together, they were getting ready for their night out.

"Well I don't know what was in the letter, I thought it was rude to wait and find out. He wanted to tell her clearly."

"Well we are going have to work on that. You need to know what is going on within the family if the Malfoy's and the Lestranges are going to stay as one. We cannot have secrets in these times." Her husband replied.

"Oh is this about the Death Eaters?" she asked shaking her head. "And in these times, you speak about it as if we are at war!"

"Cissy that us a real possibility. We might be at war soon." He pointed out to her. He knew she did not follow the news much why would she? So far it had never held much weight on her life it seemed but now, soon it was going to hold every one's life.

"No we won't." she said to him. "Surely not? If they were going to be at war it would have made her magazines."

"May I suggest you start reading the Prophet, my dear?" he asked.

"I don't like newspapers, there boring. I would far rather read something such as history."

"I didn't think you very were interested in history?"

"Not the muggles no but ours yes very much so." she said to him. "But I'll try prophet if you would like me too," she said to him.

"Thank you."

"Now can we please talk about something a little more up lifting?" she asked.

"Of course we can." He said to her. "What would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know. Normal things that wife and their husbands talk about," she shrugged her shoulders. "How was your day at work?"

"Hard. You would think it wouldn't be too hard for father to keep the paper work to a limit for me to return too." Lucius scowled.

"He had a lot for you to do? I am sorry. I shouldn't have said something at the breakfast table."

"No, it had to be done. Besides I got to think of coming home to you when I was done. It got me through."

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	17. Duty Calls

**Revised:** Sunday 8th August

_Chapter 17: Duty Calls_

"Today I want to start my duties as lady of your house sir."

Abraxas looked at his daughter in law. He had been in his study when she had knocked on the door and come in to see him.

He had thought she was going to need a little more time may be to get over her mother's death before she had asked to start her work but here she stood tall and proud and apparently ready to begin her task, before him. Who was he to say no?

"Well I have no objections to that. I can direct you in what you are going to have to do or I can leave you in Emma here's capable hands." He said motioning to the door way where a maid stood, walking over to her and encouraging Cissy to do the same.

Emma, Narcissa had met a handful of times since she had been at the Malfoy's and she knew she had been doing the job that belonged to the lady of the house since the death of Lucius's father. She had some idea that she fulfilled other duties for Abraxas as well.

"In fact, I am sure you would be better left with her as she knows far more about the running of my own home than I do." He said nodding to her.

"Then I shall I see you for lunch?" Narcissa asked her father in law.

"Yes." He nodded as he turned back in to the office from the corridor where he and the two women had been standing. "I would like that very much," he nodded. She was clearly ready for making up for the false start of her marriage he thought.

"Shall we go this way then miss?" asked Emma.

Emma was a middle aged woman who looked as if she had been at the manor for quite some time by the confidence that she walked about it with.

"I must say I am glad my young master asked you to be his wife," she said to her. "If that isn't too bold."

"No, I don't think it is." she said to her very uncertainly.

"Then that is going to be something you are going to have to change miss. You have to be a dominant woman if you are going to run this house hold." She explained to her hearing the uncertainty. Clearly, she was a dominate women. "I saw it with Master Lucius' mother. Now there was a real lady. There was something about her and it was in all of her. In the way, that she walked and in the way that she spoke and absolutely everyone from her son to the servants adored her." she said to her.

"Do you miss your old mistress?" Narcissa asked curiously feeling a mixture of annoyance this servant was appearing talk down to her and yet still arose her curiosity.

"Yes I do. She was kind and she was good to those of us in her household." Emma nodded to her. "It was her that got me my place here at the Malfoy manor. One thing you are going to have to get to grips with if you are going to be a hands on mistress -"

"Which is something I want to do – my mother she was a hands on lady and those who head their husbands households are always more respected she said to me once. And besides I was to do this. Not just for her or for my father in law, but for myself and Lucius." she said to her.

"Then you have the right attitude I think."

"What were you saying? Sorry I interrupted you. I am just so nervous. I want to get this right Emma."

"Then my mistress you are going to have to relax or otherwise all of this is going to go over your head." She said her.

"Right I am …" she said as she let a deep breath out slowly.

"As I was saying, you are going to have to have to grips with who you want in your house hold if you are going to survive in a house like the Malfoy manor." She said to her.

"You go on as if it is a palace of old." She laughed softly.

"But don't you understand Mistress, it is?" Emma said as if it was matter of fact.

Narcissa begun laughing. If this was a palace of old that made her the equivalent of a queen. That was ridiculous.

"The first thing we are going to have to arrange is your house hold and your ladies who are going to be here to help you no matter what." She said to her.

"My ladies." She asked. "What are they going to come give favours to the men as they duel?" she rolled her eyes.

"No, but they are going to be here to help you run the house." She said to her quite seriously.

"I think I am going to need that, I mean our house was a lot smaller than this." She said to her. And running a house hold was one of the things her mother hand taught her so well, even if she felt as if she had forgotten it all at that moment.

"Well that's ok I can help you until you find your feet. I know even our last mistress felt out of her depth to begin with." Emma tried to be comforting.

"Well then I am sure if she could get the hand of it eventually, then so can I." she said to her.

"If you are going to get to grips with the ropes then we are going to have to get to work today I think. Shall we begin?"

"Yes please."

Narcissa begun with the accounts, which Emma had also been seeing to for quite some time. She was now going to have to budget for the house. And with in her boundaries she had to pay for the furniture, the foods and the other essentials as well as keep the gardens as well kept as they had always been.

"Basically everything the men cannot be bothered with." she asked Emma.

"Well exactly."

She laughed out loud. Emma then explained she was going to get her own allowance, for clothes and shopping as well as anything else she wanted to do every week. It was more money then she had ever had at home.

"I can't believe that they are putting me in charge of the accounts." She said to her. She was good with money but it felt a little too much.

"Do you doubt you are up to it?" she asked.

"No, not at all, it is just a huge responsibility." She said to her.

"Well why wouldn't they give it you miss? You are family now, inner family." She said to her.

"I know I am. I just don't think – I don't know."

Emma put her hands on the girls should in a motherly fashion, after all she had grown up watching over Lucius and she had ever watched out for Abraxas. She had been their wife and mothers best friend in life and she had seen her struggle.

"Miss Narcissa, people think being a mistress of a pure blood house hold is an easy thing. But it is not. It takes something a lot of people do not think it does. Courage. To take up a place in such a house as this takes bravery. There is so much to fear, especially failure. But if you work hard and you listen and you take heart, the fear will shrink. Miss, I think you can do this." She said to her

"You know what, so do I…" she said to her beaming. She had a feeling she had an ally in Emma. She had a kind face which some of the servants she had found had not. The aging women had the look of someone worldly wise about her. Narcissa gave her something that day she had been taught to guard so closely. Her trust.

()()()

A fire had been lit in the living room in the heart if the manor.

Narcissa had strolled in there to sit down after the day's work where she was going to wait for her husband's return.

She had not spent a lot of time in the room yet, she had had so much else going on. What she noticed immediately were the family pictures that lined the mantel piece. She picked up the frame of a pictures holding a little baby boy. He had locks of blonde hair and was gurgling happily.

Lucius had been a cute baby she thought to herself.

She then moved on along to see he father in law when he had been young. Certainly he had not changed much. Be still had the same silver white hair and the eyes. But there was something about his eyes in the picture that made a difference. And she knew that was because they had warmth to them that she had not seen in them since she had known him.

It wasn't hard to realise why. The Abraxas in the picture had his arms round a young woman with long blonde hair. She looked pretty, lively and graceful. In fact there were certain parts of this young women's appearance that meant Narcissa could not help but draw comparisons with herself. They were similar in a way.

The girl in the picture had to be Lucius mother, she thought to herself. This was predecessor. The one who she had to live up too. The last Mistress of the Malfoy manor.

"She was beautiful wasn't she?" her father-in-law asked, making her jump from behind.

"Yes I think she was. Stepping to her shows isn't going to be easy."

"I don't think you are going to be able to. No offence, you are a lovely girl and you are going to make your own place here. We are happy to have you here my dear. But my wife was a very unique and beautiful woman. I don't think anyone can replace." He said to her.

"Oh sir I didn't mean it like that. I don't want to replace her. I just don't want to let you or Lucius down when you have both given me such a chance at life." she said to him. She knew she had a lot to be grateful for. Not a few girls were going to envy her.

"No, I don't doubt that you do. She was much the same as you when she got here I don't know if Emma told you that. Nervous, unsure of the world with the weight of the world of thin shoulders." he said to her. He looked troubled for a moment.

Narcissa feeling nervous even then did not rightfully know how to response to that and stayed silent.

"What I am saying to you is you are going to find your feet. We are a family here. Family comes first Narcissa, before everything else in the world. We're going to be fine." He said to her. "You are going to be fine. Now how about we go and get that spot of lunch?"

()()()

Narcissa in Lucius arms, kissing him by candle light as was coming their habit. They had had dinner with his father and then had gone straight to their room that night.

For a while she had read and he had been writing a letter before they had got lost in one another eyes and had made love, yet again. Narcissa was silent. Not at all sleepy but content to lay there with her husband as long as the peace remanded.

"My father said you begun trying to be the mistress of our house today." Said Lucius to her.

"Yes I did. I don't think I realised how hard it was going to be. I have many responsibilities." She said to him turning in to his chest.

"I am sure you are going to be fine. I am proud of you Cissa." He said kissing her temple.

"Thank you." she said to him. "I saw – I saw a photo of your mother today as well. The one in the living room." She said to him. She knew it was hardly groundbreaking news but it had been an important part of her day and she felt it was right to mention it to him

"Oh yes. And what did you think of her?" he questioned.

"I thought she was very beautiful. Emma said she was a brilliant mistress here as did your father."

"Well she was. As far as I could remember she was always the beloved darling of everyone here." He informed her.

"Lucius…you're not helping." She said to him, looking in to his eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"You're meant to tell me that I can live up to what her." She informed her husband with a look of nervousness across her face.

"That goes without saying wife of mine," be said to her.

"Does it?" she asked him.

"Of course it does. You have got to start having a bit more faith in yourself." He told her.

"I know I do. It comes from being the third daughter I think. Andy and Bella were always ahead of me when we were young. I hate being in the spot light now. I can't hide behind them anymore." She sighed to him.

"And I think that is a good thing." He informed her. "Someone as beautiful as you are should not have to live in the shadows." He kissed her again and again as he tried to reinforce his point. There was going to be second best for her.

The silence over took the room again. To feel so warmed and loved for Narcissa was blissful. She felt as if she was precious.

"But I like that." she said to him. "I have got good at being in the shadows."

"Then you are going to have to get good at being the spot light as well. You have never come over to me as a shrinking violet before."

"Oh I don't think I would go that far in describing me either." She said to him, "I just like the protection of shadow as well."

"There is no protection in darkness." he said and knew in later years if he continued down the path he begun to take already then he was going to regret telling her he knew that.

"I guess that is one way of viewing it." She shrugged.

"I think it might be the right way," he said.

"But when did Malfoy's care about what was right?" she asked cheekily.

"For one who only joined the family a few weeks ago you have a very bigoted view of us," he laughed at her.

"Don't I just?" he said as he begun to tickle her making her laugh out loud.

"Lucius stop we are going to wake your father up and he is going to think we are –"

"Doing what every young married couple should be." he said a kissed her lips fervently making it clear to his bride he did not want to talk anymore.

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	18. Goodbye To The Past

**Revised:** Thursday 12th August

_Chapter 18: Goodbye To The Past_

Cissy awoke the following day late. Lucius was a long time gone. She looked mournfully over at his side of the bed. She hated waking up to find he had left her already. Stroking her hand over his pillow she sighed but shared a smile with herself. He was going to be back there that evening. And when he was...

She surprised herself by the amount she enjoyed him.

"Soso!" she yelled from where she was lying.

The elf, as loyal as a little dog appeared to her from nowhere, a smile on his face.

"Good day to you mistress!"

"Thank you. Would you get me a cup of tea please?"

"Of course."

There was a pop and he was gone. Crawling out of bed she crossed the room to where her dressing gown was laid over a chair.

It seemed such a shame to be home. She wished she was on honeymoon.

"But still, there is much to do."

She had her duties true, but she was sure she was going to be able to sneak off for a while over the next few days. It was time to explore the manor. To make it her home. To begin to know the place.

Going over to her dressing table she looked in to the mirror. A woman stared back at her. Six months ago she had been a girl at Hogwarts.

"So much happened – so quickly." She said to herself quietly.

"Miss."

"Thank you Soso," she said as the house elf came in to the room. "Do you know where my blue riding gown was put when we moved in?" she asked knowing he was the one along with the maids who had unpacked her things.

"In the wardrobe miss."

Within half an hour she found herself in the stables, having rushed her toast and tea for breakfast. Snowy, who had been prepared for her, was eagerly looking from side to side for his mistress when she arrived. Clearly she wasn't the only one who had missed going out for a ride.

"Good morning." She said. "How are you old friend?" She asked as she stroked the horse.

"Much has happened to us since that first ride when I got home from school that first day of the summer has it not?" She said to the horse who neighed as if she knew and understand what she was saying. "Still not all of it has been bad. We shall have to go out and see how these lands compare to ours now. Are you up for that?" she said patting her.

Again she neighed with excitement.

Within minutes she found herself what felt miles away from the manor though she knew she could not yet logically be. But that was what she needed. To be away from every one for a moment. Even if she loved and cared for them. Every one needed time alone occasionally. But it was not just the time alone she needed, the quiet, the silence. It was the time to think. Ever since she had been away on her honey moon she had put off thinking about one thing.

Her father.

She couldn't any longer.

She was going to have to go and speak to him some time, she thought to herself. He was the only parent she had left. She had only just lost her mum; she didn't feel as if she was ready to lose him yet. But on the other hand there was no way she could forgive him for what he had done to her. If Lucius had not been so understanding then there marriage might have been over before it had even really begun. They had been through too much already for a couple of their age.

But her father had been there for her ever since she had been born. They had been close once. She didn't know if they were ever going to be like that again now.

"The trust is gone." She said to the wind.

But she had to talk to him.

When?

"No time like the present." She answered her own question out loud. "Time to go back Snowy…soon."

Not just yet she decided. Thinking about her father had taken up quite some time she reflected as she looked at the sun, trying to figure the time. It must be getting on for last morning. There was much for her to do.

But it would wait a little longer.

She rode on.

()()()

Narcissa looked in to the mirror. Well she knew she had looked worse. She just felt she had looked better too.

Unsatisfied with her appearance, she went over to the bed and sat on it. Maybe she should go and see Lucius and see if he thought her going to her father was a good idea.

But there was no need for that. She knew he'd hate the idea. She knew what he would say about it – it was as if she could hear his voice in her ear. And she wanted to go in her heart of hearts she knew she did.

But she had to do this. For herself. She just had too. And what did it realty matter what she looked like she thought to herself. Grabbing her bag from where it lay of her bed, she picked it up and walked out the room. She had to do this. She had to see him to try and make sense of it all or it was going to torment her forever. She wanted to know why he had done it more than anything.

Going down to the fire place, she braced herself for what she was about to do and flew back to the places of her child hood.

When she got there she found nothing had changed in the living room. She hadn't expected it too. Not really. But it felt weird. Strange. It was as if she had not been there before.

Walking out in to the corridor she saw one of the maids who was obviously surprised to see her. They must have thought she was never going to come back.

"Where is my father?" she asked. This question was said with cool tone of a woman who had been hurt. Not with the tone of a little girl who adored her daddy. She wasn't that person any more.

"In his office madam," the brunette replied to her, with a slightly nervous tone.

She nodded and walked on through her old home to the office. These corridors had been so familiar to her. They had been the once pointed her in the direction of safety. No longer did they offer such security. As she approached the office she sighed. She had sat outside that door so many times nervous when she had done something wrong and he had to tell her off.

Knocking, she sighed. This was going to be hard. Near the hardest thing she had ever had to do she thought to herself. But it did not mean she could put it off any longer.

"Come in," she heard him call through the door. His voice was harsh and gruff. Not at all fatherly. Not like she was used to.

When she walked in to the room, he didn't even look up to see her.

"Nice welcome home Pa." she said to him.

"Narcissa." He said as he realised who it was. Beaming up at her he through his pen down and got up from the huge wooden desk where he had been sitting. "Baby," he muttered to her. Sun streaked in to the room through the window on to her face. She appeared to him he thought as any angel did, to any sinner.

"I am not any body's baby anymore." She shook her head. She couldn't hear him call her that. "I was my mamas, I was her baby. And she dead." She told him. Her mother was gone. When she had died so had the child in Narcissa. She had taken a part of her with her. Part of the seventeen year old had died already.

"I know you were sweetheart. But you're my baby too; you belonged to both of us." He told her hoping that she would see sense. He had helped made her. She had been his when she had been young.

"And now I belong to myself, and my husband," she said to him.

"You are never going to belong to him." he shook his head. He was not going to believe she was a Malfoy before she was a Black. Never was he going to accept that for fact, never!

"That is not what you were saying one month ago. You gave me away Pa. You gave me to him. I am glad you did. It is the one thing you happen to get right." she said to him coldly. She wasn't going to fall for the doting father act. Not anymore. That time she when she had was through.

"You said on your wedding day you were always going to be my little girl." He said to her as he watched her. She had changed. She was harder. There she stood, hair done up, dreams and life ahead of her. She had everything to live for. She was like her mother when she had been that age. and he knew he had destroyed her; but that did not mean he was going to let her go. He had lost one daughter; he was not going to lose another.

"Then we are both liars. Why did you turn me into a liar?" she asked. It wasn't something she wanted to be.

She turned to face him for the first time since she had been in the room. She had tears in her eyes. That summer between her parent's and her marriage she had been forced to grow up when she had not yet been ready. She had just been a girl. That hadn't been fair of him and her mother, he thought to himself. He had been wrong.

"I don't know my darling. If it makes a difference, I am so sorry." He said to her tenderly. He was her father. He had to make it right.

"It doesn't. It makes no difference any more, not to me." she said to him shaking her head, blinking. He wouldn't see her cry ever again if she had her way. "You used my grief for my mother as a weapon against me. You can never make up for that. That's sick." She said to him, turning to face him. He had been her hero. Her daddy. The one who kissed it better, when he wasn't kissing some whore. "I defended you." she said to him. "Bella, she has been able to see through you and your lies for so long. And I told her, no; Father loves us, he was never as bad as you say he was. Well guess what Pa? You were. I can see now you always have been." She said to him. He had let them down time and time again. No more, he wasn't going to get the chance to again.

"I can't change the past." He told her.

"I know. But I don't think I want you in my future," she muttered. She didn't. She had her friends, her husband and her sister. No longer was he needed.

"Oh, don't say that sweetheart we can get through this." He said to her. The silence between them was heartbreaking. It was killing him. This was his little girl. This couldn't be happening. "Come on you. I know you're upset with me, but things will be ok. I can still make it ok for you." he tried to fool himself and her. But it didn't work.

She shook her head. Things were never going to be 'ok' between the two of them again. She understood why she had to go and see him now. This was it. Good bye to the past. Goodbye to him.

"No, papa you can't. It's over, you playing games with my head are over." She said to him. Looking up at him she shrugged. "There was a time when I would have done literally anything for you." she told him. Shutting her eyes she wished she could feel that way again. But it was over. Nothing was forever, not for her, not any more. "But you broke me when you lied; you broke the bond that had intertwined the two of us together –"

"You can't break blood." He reminded her.

"Then why do I feel as if there is nothing for me here anymore? This place is full of bitter sweet memories now. Never happy as they had been when I got home for the summer. You changed that entirely father. It's over," she said to him as she turned to the door. She had to get out of there. No longer could she stand the house, not a moment later. Not when she knew she had a safe place to run too.

"No, Narcissa, come sit down, have some tea. Let me try and make it up to you."

"There isn't enough tea in china to make this right Lord Black." She said to him coldly.

She walked on. "Where are you going?" he called to her.

"Home."

()()()

The door to the bedroom opened.

"How was your day darling?" Said Narcissa as she smiled at Lucius, putting her book aside. He had just got home and she was glad to see him. She had been longing for him ever since she had returned from her fathers.

She had been about to rise from where she had been sitting when he rushed to her side. "You stay there, queen of my heart." He said. He'd go to her.

Taking her hand he kissed it gently, raising it to his lips.

"It has been long and boring." He said to her. "And yours?" He asked.

She looked at him. Should she lie to keep the peace between them? No she could do that. She had been made in to a liar by her father. She wasn't going to become one by her own accord.

Getting up despite what she had been told to do by her husband she walked over to their window. She couldn't see a lot out of it, it was dark now. The sun had set. She had her night gown on. Just as she had that day stood in the sunlight she now stood in the moon light.

"Your late home." She realised.

"And you haven't answered the question once again." He said with a bitter laugh.

"If I do, will you hold me?" she asked, turning to face him.

"Yes. Of course I will."

"Ok…I went to see my father." Seeing how his expression changed from compassion to annoyance she kept speaking, not giving him a chance to cut in. "It isn't want you think. I made no peace with him. I just went to well him to stay out of our lives forever. That I didn't want him anymore." Once again his expression changed to that of sympathy. "I disowned my father today. Yes, I guess the answer to your question is it was pretty rough. I have had better days."

"Oh sweetheart." He said to her, walking over to take her in his arms as he kept his promise to hold her close to him. "I am sorry."

She shut her eyes and tried to block out everything else. But thoughts plagued her. Every time when he should have been there like when she had her first child, he wasn't going to be there now. There was never going to be that joyful moment when she told him she was doing her duty. Shivering, she clung to her husband.

"I'm not. It's over. He's gone. He was a black cloud for me and you. And he is gone. Now, it's just you and me against the world." She said as they held each other. They were all she needed in the world.

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	19. Thoughts on the Future

**Chapter 19**

After that day when she had at last made the break away from her old life, Narcissa really felt as if she was ready to get into the swing of things at her new home and so when she got up the next day she took a look at the books for the first time. She had done too much dwelling.

It would have been very therapeutic, or so she had though, had it not been for the fact she was not able to make any sense of them what so ever.

She knew that Emma had been given free hand over them for a long time. She had been the mistress in a very unofficial manner of years and she had had her own way of doing things, which Cissy knew she should have expected. And it was not as if she wanted to criticize...

But Cissy could not even read her hand writing and she knew she was going to have to take things in to her own hands now.

She was going to have to take control of the manor. Her manor. And it looked as if it was ready for her.

"Has anyone in this house got any idea what it is to be economical?" she said after three hours and four cups of coffee.

Form the moment she had got there she had known there was no actual need for the manor to economised but as she had shown to her husband on various occasions she knew the value of money and she was not going to just blow there fortune, which it seemed Emma had been quite happy doing for the past few years.

"No," A voice said from behind her and she got up as soon as she heard it.

Her heart leaped.

"Have you come to take me away from the horror that are the accounts?" she said to her husband hopefully as he knelt down by her side. His hands found her hips.

"I wish I could," he sighed as he leant up to kiss her, brushing strands of her hairs aside as he did so.

"Pray tell what is preventing such an occurrence? If you wish to remain in my good books and be and good husband then I declare that is what you should do, Mr. Malfoy."

A chuckled escaped him.

"I have a meeting I must attend tonight. I am still catching up from our honeymoon."

"Tonight? What kind of business goes on at –" she paused and she knew she had been foolish. She knew where he was going. Of course she did.

Where rod and Bella went. She had forgotten –

"Do you wish me to occupancy you?"

She had refused Chris but if it was her husband who asked her to go...

"No, that is the last thing in the world I want. That is no place for you to be and I will not take you there, my lovely wife. I only meant to come home to tell you not to worry and not to wait up for me. I shouldn't be that late but I would have you go to bed when you get tired."

She nodded but she had not liked a word of what he had said to her and she knew she was going to wait for him no matter what he had said to her.

She hated going to bed without him.

"Ok," she nodded to appease him.

Another kiss passed between them before he stood up. "I'll take you out at the weekend. Any where you want to go – just the two of us."

She knew had he not just told her what sort of business he was going to go out on that night, she would have bite back at him with some witty reply about how honoured she was. But as it was..."I'll look forward to it my darling."

"As will I."

"So here you are then Lucius back in the world of the living rather than that of the romantic. Has everything still got a bit of a rosy glow for you at the moment?" Rod teased with a grin.

"I am a very happy man in my marriage, if that is what you mean Rod, thank you."

"Some guys have all, the luck hey Rod?" Bella winked.

"He has not known what we share," He said as he put his arm about her waist. "Let Lucius and Narcissa enjoy their illusions of love while we indulge in the real thing."

The eldest Black sister rolled her eyes as they walked in to the meeting.

"She clearly finds you irresistible," Drawled Lucius.

Once they were in the meeting though, it did not take long for the mood to change. Their jovial Hogwarts friendship was never allowed to shine through when they were in front of their lord and neither would they want him to see it, for they all knew he would not approve of it. Somehow, close friendships did not seem to be something a Death Eater should have. As much as they were told when they were fighting together and working together they should be loyal to one another, only loyalty to the lord was stressed. They should not be weakened by being bonded to one another.

As he stood there with the others, Lucius knew he had no cause to miss these meetings when he had been away. In fact, he had not thought on them much at all.

He did enjoy the rush it gave him when they were out on tasks and the like but - his thoughts turned to something else when he was there and they had never done that before. He who had once been one of the most focused of the Death Eaters suddenly longed for home.

He did not think he and his darling were at the pipe and slippers stage yet thank god but he did wish to be there with her. A cosy night in with his love was what he desired.

But not what he got.

Yet, all such thoughts did leave his head when he saw his law come into the room for the first time in weeks. Just as there was a way Cissy made him feel no one else could, so it was the saw with his lord.

There was a majestic quality to the man that gave him the airs and the graces of a king and reminded him of why he wanted to follow and believe in him so much.

And he did have the right ideas about the world, he knew he did and he was never going to understand those people who did not think in their way. Ever since he had been young Abraxas had had the sense to teach him right from wrong in the true sense and when he was born, he was going to give the same knowledge to his own son.

"I am very much pleased to see you return to our ranks, Lucius," his lord singled him out when he was greeting his servants.

"Not as glad as I am to be returned to you." said Lucius as he fel to his knees. He knew there was not another man in the entire world he would show such a difference to. He was a Malfoy and he would not bow to any man or women – unless it be the one before him.

He knew he was going to be great. And the Malfoy's and the Lestranges were going to be sat his sides. His future seemed set out before him.

When he returned that night his wife was awake but in bed waiting for him. Interrupting the book she had been reading, he took it from her hands and kissed her deeply, enthused by the meeting, the adrenaline rushing through him.

Only after they had made love several times did he finally feel as if he might sleep.

She curled into his arms and let him hold her which he gladly did. Yet, all the while there was a nagging doubt in his mind. It made him hold her closer.

He saw a beautiful future for himself with his wife. He saw a powerful future with his lord.

But he could not bear the thought of mixing the two.

And if it was going to be as glorious, why could he not bring himself to involve his wife in it? Surely she should be at his side? But he didn't. He did not want her involved.

He wanted her safe at home where her honour and her purity would and could not be stained by the outside world. This room, with her inside of it he knew was going to be his safe haven when the war got going. She was so very precious.

But if he felt so sure about the future, then why did he try and protect her from it? There was something wrong there, wasn't there? He didn't want her hurt – and so if she could be hurt by it, so could he. Could it hurt them?

The niggling doubt his love for her places in him remained all night, and he didn't sleep at all.

\/\/\/

Cissa worried over her husband the next day. Though he had insisted since he had returned he was a very busy man with much to do, he decided to stay home and complained he felt slightly under the weather.

"Did your meeting not go well last night?" she asked as she lay on the bed next to him.

"On the contra my dear, it was a great success," he muttered as if he was in another world. He was distant, and she did not remember him being so since they had been wed.

Staying silent by his side, not wanting to say or do the wrong thing when he was clearly not in the best of moods, she continued to stroke his face with great tenderness. Catching her hand in his own, he turned her palm to his face and kissed it.

She had become everything to him.

"I don't mean to be a bore my dear."

"As if you ever could be! We all have our off days. I'll write to Bella." She said as she made to get up.

"Why?"

"I said we'd dine with her and Rod tonight. I'll cancel; we can have a quiet night in."

"No, no you mustn't do that. If you said we will go then go we shall." he said knowing she loved dining with her sister.

"Only if you're sure."

"I am darling, I am."

He watched her from the bed as she went to her vanity and begun to get ready.

"What are you thinking?" she said as their eyes met in her mirror.

"That I can't believe I didn't know how empty my life was."

Turning, she sighed. "You're going soft, Malfoy."

"Only because you made me thus."

\/\/\/

As ever, when the two of them made there entrance for dinner, Narcissa was exquisite, a soft pink highlighting her skin and her eyes. Her husband's chest puffed out with pride. No one in the world had a wife to match his own irreplaceable darling.

Going in to the drawing room, both took champagne as he tried to get in to mood of the evening, but his own mood was cast further downwards when he saw to his disgust, Christopher had returned.

Chris's eyes lit up as he ignored him. "Hello Cissy."

_Please review!_

Author Note: so it has been years since I updated this fic, yet lately I have got the bug for it back. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy the story as it continues, which hopefully, it will now!


	20. Tempers Flare

**Chapter 20**

Of course, Lucius knew he was going to come back some time but seeing that smug little face was not what he had needed when he had already been in a bad mood. In fact, it was the last thing.

Despite the differences the two of them had had between them though, Narcissa was delighted to see the man she had thought of as a brother ever since she had been young. Ignorant of the argument he had had with her beloved, she rushed to his side. "Chris, how good it is to see you," she said as her arms wrapped themselves about him naturally.

Laughing, he spun her round. "And there was me thinking you would not even remember my name, my absence was so prolonged."

"Not at all."

She no more believed the lies he had tried to tell her on her wedding day than she had at the time but her anger had softened towards him considerably. He had been a good friend to her over the years and she had lost too much of her past of late to let him go as well. She was so happy in her marriage, so why rank over the past? It didn't matter anymore.

"We have missed you terribly, haven't we Lucius?"

"Naturally."

But as soon as he had said it he felt his lip curl up. He was able to keep a mask down over a lot of things but he had never liked that man and he loathed the fact that his wife had given him such a warm greeting. Narcissa should have greater care for her station.

For one of the first times since they had been wed, he felt annoyed with her and he knew as their eyes met she was confused as to why.

Chris felt her arms weaken about him.

Bella smiled - she did love to stir a little trouble up from time to time at Lucius' expense. It was one of the little things that made her happy. But she hoped it did not back fire on her sister.

"How is life as Mrs. Malfoy?" Chris asked his friend and in spite of herself Narcissa felt her face flush.

"I am a very happily married women."

But even as she had said the words she saw her husband back off from the situation to walk over to side of the room where a lot more of his own friends were, from his year at Hogwarts.

She sighed. She knew the pair of them should have stayed in – but if he was going to sulk then so be it for she was not going to let him wreck her night as well as his own. She had done nothing wrong and had she greeted one of her female friends so warmly then she knew he would not have batted an eye lid.

And if it was his jealousy that was making him act in such a way, then he was a fool which she had not taken him for before. Anyone who could see her knew she was utterly in love with him, even if she was yet to say it to him and he had no reason to be jealous of a boy like Chris who remained and would only ever be her friend.

But even as she stood there and spoke to him about his trip he could feel her husband's eyes upon her and she knew they were not admiring but cursing her. It was not a comfortable feeling. Yet, she was determined she was not going to let him beat her.

"I hope your trip gave you great satisfaction, old friend," she said as she drunk some of the champagne she had picked up off one of the trays.

"It pleased me greatly. I got a lot of work done which I think will stand me in great steed. I won't tell you what it was – I know you do not approve."

"Was it worth missing my wedding?" she asked with an arched eyebrow. She because it wasn't bothering her – well, he didn't have to know that.

"Cissy..." he muttered as he shook his head. He looked away. "I wish we were still at Hogwarts," he said as he looked down on her. "Life was so simple."

He missed her. More than he had thought he was going too.

She did not know how she was meant to reply to that... Did she wish she was still a student? She knew her life had been a lot simpler then. And she had had her beloved mother and father, both of who were gone from her now forever.

But then she had become a wife and with god's help she was going to be a mother before too long. She had a lot to be grateful for.

"Yes it was," She nodded. "But that didn't answer my question."

She saw a longing in his eyes and for a second she thought he was going to try and reach for her hand. Knowing it was more than her husband could take the mood that he had been in, she was not willing to push him when he was in a foul mood. There was no need for it.

"Christopher, I am a wife now and I am a wife before I am anything else – please remember that."

Before she had a chance to read the expression that came to his eyes for fear of what she would find she turned away to speak with the girls. Moving away from the fire place, she sighed.

She was glad he was back – and she was glad he was ok. But not if he was going to cause trouble for her.

She wanted peace in her marriage.

Yet, even by the time they had gone in to dinner she knew her husband was not a happy man. He wasn't relaxing. He had not so much as met her eyes since she had spoken to her old friend even though every time she was not looking at him she felt his eyes upon her.

She knew he could be possessive. But this was the first time she had felt it.

Izzy sat at her side. "Is Lucius ok?" she asked.

"Of course he is, my lord is just a busy man and is rather tired tonight," she excused him as she tucked in to her dinner.

Her eyes met Bella's and she knew her elder sister wanted to kill her husband for the way he was being with her but she shook her head, knowing once they were home things would be fine between them – or at least hoping that was going to be the case.

But if he thought he was going to get away with the way he had been acting that night he was wrong. He was not the only one who knew how much dignity their house held.

But things only got worse over dinner. The smallest thing Christopher said and Lucius was on it, tearing it apart. Something was not right between them Cissy knew and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

By the time they got home, the Malfoy's were both too annoyed with one another to have a rational conversation. They had not even left early, which might have been the wiser choice. Lucius had wanted to stray till the end.

Abraxas was sitting down stairs with Emma at his side when the two of them came in and he could see they were both about to say something to one another when they saw he was still up.

"A pleasant night?" he asked his eyes averted momentarily from, the Daily Prophet he had been studying.

"Wonderful, thank you papa," said Narcissa as she went over to the chair where he had been sitting to kiss him good night.

His son made no such move and nor did he back her up that they had had a good time.

Rather he turned from the room and he walked up to their bedroom.

"He is still not feeling much better then?" her father in law asked her.

"No," she said in a rather dangerous tone as she took off after him, her dress billowing.

"Trouble in paradise?" Emma questioned, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Well it is about time the two of them got the first argument out of the way."

\/\/\/

Narcissa sat at her vanity taking off her jewellery – since she had taken off after her husband she had not yet found the words for him. He had been so contemptuous that night and she had never seen him thus.

She made no acknowledge meant of his presence as she removed her makeup. She was going to be glad when the night was over and she could get into bed.

"I hope you are proud of the way you behaved tonight sweetheart," He told her from the bed where he sat, a glad of fire whisky in his hand.

"There was nothing to be found wanting in my conduct, Lucius - you on the other hand acted like a spoilt little boy throughout tonight and wrecked what would have otherwise been, I am sure a perfectly pleasantly evening." She said as she took off her earrings. "When Bella had gone to such trouble as well..."

"You were a flirt today – I had thought better of you, that's why I asked you to be my wife."

"Me flirting? With Christopher I take it? Oh now you are just being ridiculous," she shook her head.

"Am I?" he said. Neither of their voices rose for neither would have a shouting match – they were not so common. Yet there was a dangerous edge both of them recognised in the tone of the others voice. "Am I? You barely took his eyes off of him."

"I look at those I speak with, yes husband. I am polite." She said as she turned to look at him but he shook his head.

"You acted like a fool, mooning over him."

"I am not going to listen to this!" she spat. "And I am not going to speak with you when you are in such a foul mood."

"Very well," he said as he got up and made for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To the study!"

She shut her eyes. She felt as if she had been hit, and it did not take long for the tears to well in her eyes. She, who had been so frustrating to him throughout their courtship, in tears. She had been so determined she was not going to let him get to her. But... he was precious to her.

And she ...

It was such a silly row, she realised as a tear slipped on to her cheek. She didn't want the two of them to fight. But neither did she want to cave in.

When they had only just wed, the two of them should still be enjoying the bliss of their love... but even if she was in tears, if he really thought she was just going to run straight after him then he was very much mistaken. She had done nothing wrong.

Instead, she summoned an elf to draw her bath and got in to the soppy hot water. A bath always made her feel better. Undressing, she sighed. But when she got in there she found she was unable to relax... her mind was filled to the brim with her fool of a husband. Her silly Lucius...

Stubborn man that he was, she had fallen in love with him – and she did not wish to go to bed when they were angry with one another.

Getting out the bath she sighed. Enough time had passed now...

Walking down to his office in her night clothes, her feet bare against the soft carpet, she knocked gently on the study door. "Lucius," she said softly. "Please let me in."

There was a moments silence before he came to the door and he opened it. His face was softer than it had been when he had left their room, very much like she knew her own was. And his apology was in his eyes..."Darling, let's not be angry with one another before bed," she told him.

Nodding, he took her face in his hands and kissed her before pulling her inside. Ignoring the large oak desk that usually was the central focus of the room, the two of them went to the leather sofa, where he pulled her into his lap. "I hate it when we fight," he said as he kissed her again. "I was horrid tonight – forgive me Cissy."

"Of course," she said between kisses. "But only if you forgive me. I knew you were in a bad mood – I should not have said those things."

"Perhaps we were both in the wrong," he conceded.

But he noted she had no said sorry for the way she had behaved with her friend. He did not know why it got under his skin so much. As he pulled back slightly, she read his thoughts. "You are my husband and my dearest friend. If anyone is going to benefit from my flirting, it will be you – only you. Chris is a friend, nothing more. You hold my heart." She admitted as she kissed his forehead. "And you will do as long as you want it."

"Forever," he told her without a second though. "I'll want you forever. I didn't mean – I was bad tempered and jealous."

"And maybe I was a little silly, I could see you didn't want me talking to him. But perhaps the truth is I like you a little jealous," she teased.

"Is that so, wife?"

"It is," she nodded as their foreheads kissed. "What is the manner of your disproval of a Chris?"

"That he is a fool."

She giggled. "In that case, I thought the two of you would have got on."

"No, no. I don't trust him. Neither should our lord."

"He does though, doesn't he? _He_ sent him on that mission during our wedding..." she said the unasked question in the air.

"Yes, he did." Lucius confirmed, before shaking his head. "Let's not talk about him."

She felt a little unnerved by how eager her husband was to move on, but she was unwilling to cause another scene so soon after the last. Nodding, she let him push his lips to her own.

Lucius told himself he hadn't life to her. After all, it had been the Dark Lord who had sent him away hadn't it? He had only made a suggestion. "Now, my Ciss..." he said as he brushed a piece of her hair away from her face and nibbled on her earlobe playful. "Why don't we go and make up in the proper way?"

"What an excellent idea," she purred back.

Lifting her, he carried her all the way back to their room where the shut the door on the world, leaving all thoughts of Christopher on the other side of the door.

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	21. Revelations

**Chapter 21**

Cissy knew it was soon going to be time for her to host her own dinner party as mistress of the Malfoy manor. After all, she and Lucius were young, and a rather handsome couple. Due to their wealth they were going to be among the natural leaders of pure blood society from that day on – she has known that when she had married him.

But now it did seem a little daunting.

It was what she had dreamed of ever since she had been a small girl – to be a leader of pureblood society; it has seemed to her was to be a princess.

Or that was the way her mother had made it sound.

But suddenly now she was old enough, and she had seen how some people behaved at them, she was no longer so sure. She cast her mind back to the way her own husband had been when the two of them had been at Bella's.

She did not think she would be able to handle that so well as her sister had if someone was insufferable at her dinner party as her rather temperamental husband had been that night. It was hardly gracious, was it?

Nevertheless, she smiled, for when she thought of that night it was not the argument she remembered but the making up.

The longer she was married the more it seemed to her that she enjoyed being a wife.

But she knew there was a lot more to being a wife than wearing pretty dresses and enjoying her darling's caresses. She had known that for a long time.

In public, she had to put on a display on how much dignity she had and how proud she was to be a Malfoy. It seemed silly to her, as a private being, but then that was the way it was.

And so instead of putting it off as she knew she had been so far, she decided to do the sensible thing and called Izzy over. Having not seen her friend in quite some time, just the two of them, she decided it would be the right time to call her over. She felt as if she had plenty to confide in her.

Quite asides that she felt Izzy's tastes were far more like her own than her sisters, Bella just like her husband was so temperamental. She had to be in the right kind of mood to deal with her sister. And she did not think she was just then.

But with her best friend, she knew how she was going to be and what she was going to say to her even a lot of the time. And yet it was very pleasant to be with her still, despite the predictability.

"So the two of you are quite recoiled then?" asked Izzy once the two of them had mulled over the events of the dinner party.

Narcissa nodded.

"We are – pray god through our marriage all the argument we shall have shall end so quickly." She said with a smile. She was no fool. She knew there were going to be plenty more between the two of them. For all they were Malfoy's, they were at the end of the day only human. Of course they were going to clash from time to time.

"Indeed." Izzy nodded.

"So you are at last to preside over your own dinner?" she said and the young bride nodded.

"I am," she sighed. "And that is the reason why I asked you to hear. I need all your help to get ready for it old friend, to work on the guest list, the menu – I think I now begin to understand just how much my mother did when I was growing up." she told her. It was only now when she was gone, she found she really begun to understand her mama.

And how sad it was when she found she needed her more than ever now she was grown, now that her mother was gone. She wanted her to be there for her as a friend as much as she did a mother – she missed her council more than ever.

"I fear that is the way it goes for many."

Cissy could only nod in agreement.

"If only we all knew what we had when we had it, I think this world would be an infinitely better place." But then she shook her head, not wishing to be so morbid. "But come my friend it is time we look to the future and not the past," she smiled linking their arms together.

Going back into the house, from where the two of them had been walking in the ground, they made their way to Cissy's parlour where they begun to make their plans.

The menu was a task which could only be worked upon when the guest list was arranged; and so that was where they begun – until they got to the difficult question of whether it would be wisdom or folly for Narcissa to invite Christopher.

"He is as a brother to me and I do not want to lose him – but Lucius is more important to me now – more important than _anything_. But then it would cause a scandal if we were not to invite him."

"Send out an invite to him Cissy, but we'll try and arrange it so he is somewhat indisposed, shall we?" Izzy said with the mischievous glint in her which she knew so well. Narcissa nodded. "But not yet – I think we can kill two birds with one stone here."

Isabelle was a lot more scheming than she looked – Narcissa entrusted the matter of Christopher to her with a nod. Cissy had no idea what she was going on about but she trusted her and she knew she would _always _trust her. "Then I leave it in your capable hands."

()()()

That week as Narcissa discussed what she was going to do for their first dinner party as a married couple incessantly, Lucius came in just five or ten minutes later to enjoy a little peace before he was subjected to her babbling.

But as the week came to an end and he came into find her lying on the bed, he wished he had got back sooner.

She was curled up in bed with a book in her hand but she showed no signs of reading it – she looked quite far away.

"Darling are you unwell?" he said as he wondered over where she lay and sat by her side. Her eyes observed him gently as she shook her head.

There was something bothering her though – he knew it even as she tried her best to deny it.

"I am well, sweetheart – just a little tired."

She did not like lying to him but she did not want to tell him and then be wrong.

But then she was not sure if she wanted to carry this – _secret_ – on her own. And why should it be secret from him? It was just as much his as hers.

But there was something holding her back and she did not know why. She had to double check before she said anything – she had to be sure.

But she had been sick; she felt faint; she had craved strawberries in pumpkin source!

She had to be with child, didn't she?

Cupping his face, she smiled. She did not think she was ever going to stop being glad the two of them had found one another; that he had pursued her.

He had been right. They were going to make one another very happy indeed. There could never have been another for her.

"Why do I not believe you?" he said with a smile. She seemed in good spirits for all her sorry state.

"Because you have suspicious mind – now will you just cuddle me?" she said with a sigh.

"If you are asking me to cuddle you, then I know there is something wrong."

Even though they were a very affectionate couple, rarely did it seem to him she felt the need to ask for it. But that was because he loved to give it to her.

Settling down on the bed by her side, he kissed her neck and held her close to him. She was not the only one to think how lucky they were they wed.

"Was it a good day?" he asked her tentatively.

She nodded. "People have started to reply to the dinner party and it looks as if we are going to have quite the house full," she said to him with a soft smile. "But I also found out we are not the only hosts having a dinner party that evening."

"Who else is?" he said as his eye brow raised.

He did not like the idea of anyone stealing his wife's thunder when he knew how much effort she had gone to, even thus far to make sure it was going to be a wonderful night.

"Our dear friend Caroline..."

/

Cissy had to admit that the way that Izzy had ensured the two dinner parties were going to run on the same night through a piece of gentle persuasion had been a stroke of genius. Not only did it ensure those who she _had_ to invite and yet did not want at her house, were not going to be there but due to the fact it was Caroline who was hosting the other party, it ensured the cream of society were going to come to them.

But at the same time, she did wish her invite had got to Chris before Caroline's had. The entire plot had been to ensure he was not going to be at her dinner party but the fact was their friendship was so strong she did want him there. And if he wasn't – well, she knew it would not be the same.

They had been so close when they had been at Hogwarts. The fact he was not going to be there only proved to her how much her life really had changed.

But then that was the price she had to pay. It was the price she was willing to pay even.

And really, she knew in truth that should be the last thing on her mind; she had the confirmation of her hopes that she had been waiting for. She was indeed to be a mother.

Save for the time she was worrying over things that did not matter in the least that was all she had been able to think about.

She was going to be a mother – she was going to give her husband an heir. Overnight she felt as if she had grown up – ever since she had found out the news. She was carrying someone else. She had a baby inside of her. And they depended on her and her alone entirely.

Sitting at her vanity, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Was it just her or did she look different? Had she grown up in a heartbeat?

All she did know was she was going to be a mother – and it seemed as if for the first time in a long time her life was falling into place.

All she had to do now was work out when it was going to be the right time to tell Lucius. She knew he was going to be as pleased as she was. All she had to do was pick her moment.

()()()

"Did you help her plan this?"

Izzy had been having a quiet morning when Chris had intruded on her in her mother's drawing room. With his easy charm in had not been hard to get past Izzy's mother – lacking maternal love from the women who had given birth to him, he found many others wanted to mother him.

"Did I help plan what and who do you mean 'her'?"

"Did you and Narcissa arrange it so that I was not going to be on the night of her debut as Mrs. Malfoy?" he said furiously.

When he had got the invite from Caroline he had thought he would rather go to hers than nowhere for the evening.

Then after he had sent his reply to Caroline, he had got an invite to the Malfoy's. He had then got a distressed letter from Caroline saying she had had no idea they were going to have a dinner party on the same night she was. She begged he still come to her rather than go elsewhere as she had already got some ill concealed cancelations, from people who had obviously decided they were going to go to the Malfoy's instead.

And he knew he was a Slytherin but he did have a heart. For all the fact he knew he had been one of the worst for mocking her when they had all had a go, when she was out of ear shot, he did pity the poor girl. She had thought her whole life was mapped out when she had been with Lucius.

And then it had been taken away from her.

You had to feel for her, did you not? But then he knew he felt for her so because he was suffering from a loss as well.

That of a '_sister_.'

"We thought I best that you were indisposed. You know how Lucius feels for you and I do not want Cissy to have to go through any more upset." Said Izzy. She knew Chris only wanted to be her friend but there was something about friendship between two girl friends that a man could not understand.

She had seen Cissy go through the biggest changes she had to so far in her life of late and she knew they were only going to keep coming to her now; she had lost her mother and was a wife.

She was not going to see her hurt any more if she was able to protect her.

But to Chris, it felt as if she was turning herself into his enemy. When he thought back to the way they had been when they had been at Hogwarts it seemed mad they were all so far apart now.

"But I want to be there for her – I want to be her friend and I know she is going to be worried about that night. I should be there for her."

"She is going to be with, myself, Lucius and her sister. She is going to be quite fine."

But Chris shook her head. "I do not believe she does not want me there."

He shook his head once more and that was when he did that, Izzy minds went into over drive. She had always known he was close to Cissy but this had to be more than the friendship he was mourning.

"My god... you're in love with her, aren't you?" he said as she got up from where she had been sitting and crossed the room to where he stood.

For the first time ever, she saw tears cascade down his face. Even when he had been talking about his useless mother he had never cried.

But right then as he spoke of Cissy, it seemed he had no choice in the matter.

Yet in her heart of hearts what he had just revealed to her only confirmed that she had done the right thing when he had kept him away from the Malfoy manor.

For if Lucius ever found out, he was bound to kill him.

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	22. Secrets Kept and Unkept

**Revised: Saturday 23 July 2011 **

**Chapter 22**

As the day of her dinner party grew closer, it seemed to Narcissa that she just did not have time to share with her husband her joyous news. God only knew she knew she should tell him but in spite of their closeness and the fact she did adore her husband, there was a voice in her head telling her for the sake of the child she should not yet.

She did find it hard to though. It was not as if she had made a habit thus far of keeping things from the man she loved. At the end of the day, she would have loved nothing better than to tell him everything. Which was why she did not and could not understand how and why she did not yet want to share the fact they were going to be parents with him. It was the most important thing which had ever happened to them, after all.

Her husband was not by any means a stupid man, even if he was a fool at times. Foolishness and stupidity were two very different things after all, two very different things indeed.

He knew there was something up with her even if he did not push it. Maybe he had got used to the fact that she was not always that accessible to him when she was having her time of the month and had assumed that was the issue.

Of course, she was not going to be having a course for nine months now.

But he was not yet to know that. She was going to tell him she told herself. She just did not know when.

It had to be soon though.

Yet in the mean time, it was not as if she had nothing to occupy her days. She was going to be glad when her debut as mistress of the manor was over – she really was. She wondered if she had let it grow into too much of a big deal as she knew she was prone to do at times.

After all, she was going to have her husband on her side and he was not going to let her make any stupid mistakes. And thanks to her mother tutelage, she was not going to anyhow.

She had been in her own world when she felt a pair of hands grab her from behind and quite unlike herself, she jumped out of her skin.

"Narcissa, it's only me," said Lucius as he held on to her but she shook her head in her frustration.

"Don't jump out on me like that," she said as she shook her head.

"I walked into the room and you did not hear me, I do not think that seriously that counts as me sneaking up on you per se," he said as he put his lips to her neck as he had done just a few days earlier when the pair of them had been in bed. But she did not lean into the kiss as she had done previously.

"I did not think you would let yourself get so wound up by all this," he said as he rubbed a circle on her back soothingly. It had not crossed his mind she would allow herself to get so stressed by it all. "I think I am going to be glad when it is all done so I can get my wife back."

He did not mean to sound ungrateful for the all the hard work she was doing so that the night would be a success, but he knew the pressure she was putting herself under was no good for her. "It is not all too much for you, is it?"

She shook her head. "Don't be silly, I am quite fine," she said and she knew no matter what now, she could not let him know they were going to have a child until after the dinner party, for fear he would call it off due to her state of health – which might not have been an entirely be a bad thing.

She turned to him and she smiled for she knew she had to try to be convincing.

()()()()()

Bella was delighted when her sister wrote to her tell her that practically every single person she had invited to her meal was going to attend. It was going to be a night to remember as it should be.

But there was only one thing she felt her sister had done wrong. She had not seen fit to invite the Dark Lord, the man who was going to rise their family to even greater prominence in society still.

She knew her brother in law wanted to protect her sister from the outside world and he wanted to keep his own sweet Cissy pure and innocent for his own sake as well as hers. But she did not see how it was going to benefit them all in the long run. She was a women and she was just as deeply involved in the new movement as her husband was. She knew if her sister got involved then she could be useful to their lord as well as they all should be.

But then, she did see as her sister as slightly weaker than herself. And she knew she had a very different relationship to Rod as to what Cissy shared with Lucius.

All the same, the least she had to do was to show some kind of support for the cause. She knew her sister and she knew she did believe in the supremacy of their kind.

As it had clearly slipped her sisters mind to invite their Lord to the dinner party, she did it for her.

It was indeed going to be a night to remember.

()()()()()

As soon as Lucius realised what his sister in law had done he was furious with Bella. If there was one person who his wife did not need there to put her on her edge that evening, it was the Dark Lord. If the wife of his best friend knew her sister at all, then she would know she did not need the added pressure.

She was under enough already – there was so much expectation on her...

But he had said yes to attending. He wanted to be there. They could not put him off. Lucius knew there was nothing he could do now except break the news to his wife gently and try it persuade her that this new turn was not going to put all her hard work to shame.

Either that or of course, he could go the other way and just go and kill Bella. He did not think his lord was going to approve of that.

And he did not think his wife would like that either – though with her, he was beginning to realise you never really knew.

To his delight as well as his disappointment, he found her in a good mood for the first time in days when he got back to her. He wished he did not have to break her good mood.

"I think I have got it all ready now," she said as she went to greet him. Poor Lucius, she mused, it was no wonder that he was so confused by the way she was acting of late. One minute she was down and the next she was up. She had no control over it though – it was just the way that her body had reacted to being pregnant.

A smile flashed once more across her lips when she thought of her condition. He may not know yet but when he did found out she knew her lord was going to be singularly grateful to her and happy. In fact, she was quite sure she was about to become the most entirely beloved Mrs. Malfoy who ever was. She knew plenty of women had had children before she had even got pregnant. But it felt as if she was the only one who ever had. She felt so... clever.

He knew when he had something to say to her that he should just get it over with but...when she was in such a lovely mood, he found he did not want to wreck it but bath in it for a while.

"I am so glad – you know you are going to do me and this household proud. Never has it seen such a mistress as you before, my darling!" he said as he held her close knowing that flattery could only aid his cause.

She let out a little laugh and was more comely towards him than she had been of late, once more willingly stepping into his waiting arms which received her gratefully and with much affection. Her hair was pinned up, meaning it was only too easy for him to find some of her bare skin to caress.

But when he did not tell her what was going on he knew he might as well just be lying to her and he did not wish for there to be any secrets between the two of them.

"Sweetheart, I am glad to see that you are so much recovered from your troubles, but I fear I must add to them once more."

She looked at him with doe eyes which made it even harder for him to give her the news that he knew he must.

But he had to do it.

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	23. Mrs Malfoys Debut

**Chapter 23**

Narcissa had been rather shocked when her lord had said they were going to have an extra guest for dinner. When her husband had told her who it was she had been even more shocked by her own reaction. As much as she knew that man was going to politically change the status of her family, she had had no idea they were going to see him socially as well. She had had no desire to meet him.

But now that it was going to happen whether she liked it or not, she almost felt as if she was going to or could met the challenge with a king of calm reserve.

That did not mean she would not take great pleasure in murdering her sister. She knew nothing would give her greater pleasure. She had had no right to mess with her perfectly planned guest list.

But in a way only Bella could, she had, and now they were going to have to deal with that.

"Are you sure you are ok?" said her husband as they two of them got ready for bed later that night. He had thought there was going to be an argument between the two of them – but then she had never been one for tantrum.

"I am not going to get angry with you when it is my own, _dear_ sister who has committed the offense. And besides it is not going to be so hard to set another place at the table."

He suddenly questioned whether she had been feigning how stressed she was – she certainly wasn't that evening.

"Nevertheless I am going to be glad when it is all done with." He said as he got on to the bed next to her and kissed her.

It seemed hardly a night still went passed without the two of them enjoying their matrimonial rights. She hoped the two of them were never going to get bored of exploring one another's bodies. Ever since she had been married she knew she was well satisfied with her husband's physic. When they were older things were not going to look as they did in that moment – but that was a long way off.

She shivered as he ran his hand over her stomach, unknowingly caressing the spot where the fruit of his loins grew strong and healthy with god's help.

Part of her at once desired to tell him what lay there in her and to see the joy on his face when he learnt that he was to be a father. That he was to – _please_ – have a son and heir.

But there and again that voice in her head telling her there was something wrong – that she was not to tell him.

_Wrong_?

No – no, it was just her being a mother and wanted it, the child, to be her own joy for a while and no one else's. There was nothing wrong.

There could not be and there would not be for she was a young women – she herself was healthy.

It would be fine.

()()()

Knowing that she was going to be nervous during the day Lucius decided to stay home the day of their dinner, having cleared it with his father. Abraxas had to say he was quite surprised to see his son still so in love with his wife as their marriage drew on.

He was the first to admit that Narcissa was a very different class of women to the type his son had picked before he had been married.

But even so...

As he looked out in to the garden, covered with the first winter frost, to see the young couple walking hand in hand was a joy for him.

They were going to do just fine once he was gone – though god willing that was not going to be for a while yet.

"They are a fine pair," said Emma as she came up behind him and put her hands on his back.

He smile as her head came down on his shoulder, and turned to kiss her forehead.

"The boy has indeed come good."

()()()

After the peace of the morning in the house, it seemed to Narcissa, it came to life completely in the afternoon. For the first time, since she had been mistress there, she ventured down to the kitchens with Emma to check on the preparations, she had to do a sweep of the dining room to make sure all was ready before checking all the arrangements of flowers she had orders had arrived.

This was going to be her night of triumph –it was going to be thus far the crowning jewel for her a Lady Malfoy.

But the nerves she felt fur her husband's lord coming them did put extra pressure on her – and there was no way she was able to deny it.

She would have words with her sister when she was able to.

If she had sent out an invite to one if her dinner parties then she knew she would have been furious with her. Especially the first one.

But at times things were sent to test people.

And Bella was one of those.

As she put new diamond studs in her ears (a present from her darling), she sighed. As soon as this night was over then she was going to be really able to think about the really important things in life.

As she watched him put Lucius cuff links, in she sighed again.

"You know I am going to do you so proud tonight my love," she said to him.

Crossing the room towards her, he put his hands on her shoulder, "You do me proud every day – and every night, as I always knew you would, sweetheart," he said as he kissed her.

"Your father is going to be seated at the head of the table, with yourself on his right and myself at own," She said to him.

"Cissy, you have told me this a million times – and our guest of honour is going to be in the middle of the table so that he may talk to whom he will, with Bella at his left and Rod on his right. And we shall all honour him greatly."

His warm hands cupped her neck and pulled her in to him for a kiss.

"Tonight." She smirked, as she pulled away.

()()()

Bellatrix, as soon as she got to the reception room, could feel that there was going to be atmosphere between herself and her brother in law even if her sister did manage to hide her feelings to her.

Her sister twirled round the room it seemed, an image in mint green, laughing and joking with her guests as if they were courtiers at _her_ court. She had heard from her friends that her sister had been nothing if not a cat on a hot tin roof of late.

But if she still felt so then it did not show. Their mother had indeed taught her well.

"She is quite a lady our little Narcissa," said he husband in her ear.

"I do not think she is so little now."

In her heart, she felt a rising resentment of her pretty, sociable sister. There was a quality in her youngest sister that had never been in her and she knew it. There was something in Mrs. Malfoy she could never have.

And it hurt. She watched the way that Lucius watched her sister. Rod and she were more passionate she knew. But there was something deeper in the relationship between the Malfoy's.

Something more durable. But then in time... power would come to her... and then her sister would be the one who resented her, for power she knew was so much stronger than love, the invisible notion which the order fools preached.

But then that night her thoughts had to be on her lord who was of course going to be fashionably late. She felt something rise with in her which could only be conjured by him. Her husband paled in comparison.

"Sister," she was all ready to have her Cissy look at her with disdain but by the way that she was acting Bella could not have done what she done. She was just being light and bubbly.

"Hello dearest," she said as they kissed.

"I trust you have both got a drink," she said as she turned to Rod with a smile.

"Yes, we have – and can I just say I think everything looks wonderful. You are doing a splendid job." As soon as she said it she realised she was one who was putting up a barrier between them for being so formal. "I trust you did not mind me asking a guest of honour?" she said with a smile, for the question had to be asked sooner or later.

Just momentarily she saw her sister mask slip and she saw the uptight nerves that she felt. She wanted to reach out to her as she might have done when they were girls but neither of them were girls anymore.

They were women and they were wives.

"Not at all, dear sister – it is going to be the crowning jewel on the evening," she with a gentle smile.

And with that remark she walked on before her sister had the chance to pull her up on the lie.

The later it got, the more Narcissa felt as if something was going to be wrong when the lord arrived. She felt as if she was going to get too nervous. Naturally, as hostess and a mother to be she had decided to stay away from alcohol for the evening. She did not then have to worry about alcohol affecting her - but then she could not help that think maybe a drink would steady her.

The one comfort she had was the fact that when she did met the lord she was going to have her husband at her side. And it was when she was still meeting her guests and welcoming that she felt her husband's hand on her shoulder.

"He is here, my love," He said softly in her ear and she knew he was as unhappy about this as she was.

She turned to him and she saw the steely resolve she had in her eye. He was even more proud of her than he had been thus far. He had not wanted this thrust upon her but she was dealing with it as a true Malfoy women - that was not a easy quality to come by – but she had it in abundance.

"My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have you attention?" he asked as he looked about the people gather in his mansion. He felt especially his father's eyes upon him. He knew he had stepped back so much of late to ensure that when he was the lord of the manor – when his father was gone – he would be ready to uphold the family name. He had no intention of letting him down.

Taking her husband, hand, Narcissa turned to see their lord was in the room – even though she had not met him she knew it was him, by the reaction her guests gave to him with the majority of them sinking to their knees.

The fact that he was going to be there that evening she knew had only meant she had stolen more guests away from Caroline.

As she looked at him she felt her breathe stolen from her. She did not know if she would call the man her husband served handsome. The fact that Lucius 'served' any man, she herself found distasteful.

But she knew she was unable to deny there was a charisma to this Tom Riddle, with his dark eyes and his slightly greying hair.

But there was something – uncomfortable about him.

She did not know what it was.

But even with her husband at her side, he scared her. She knew her beloved would never allow any harm to come to her – but he did scare her. Not that she was able to let it show.

"I cannot tell you how humbled we are, my lord," said Lucius as he too bowed down, causing his wife to sink into a curtsey with him. "This night will be engraved upon my memory until the day I die."

The elder of the two men nodded at the reverence he was being shown in the Malfoy manor – Lucius was pleasing him.

"And can I present to you my wife, Lady Narcissa."

Once more she dropped down in to a deeper curtsey.

"Indeed you can," he said in a way that she had no doubt was going to stir her husband's jealousy. She could not say she much cared for it.

"My lord, I can only repeat what my lord hath said, and welcome you to our home." She said as she bowed her head.

"Madam, Lucius told me he had a wife. He did not say she was a beautiful one."

"Then my husband I do believe has done me a great injustice!" She replied. When she saw the corners of Tom Riddle mouth go up, she knew she was doing something right.

But then he turned back to Lucius – "she is a delight!"

Lucius nodded, and she knew he wanted to tell their lord he had had no need to tell him – for he knew. But for fear of sounding impudent he did not, and instead announced that supper was at last ready.

"I trust I will sit by her tonight so I get to know the lady better," he said to his servant and Lucius knew without looking at the face of his wife this arrangement was not going to be agreeable to her and that as soon as his lord had made his request plain his wife had wanted to run.

But there was nothing he could do.

He had to please him if they were going to rise to great heights which they had to do. They **had** too.

"I am sure my wife will be more than happy to oblige you."

It was not that she would be – but that she had to be.

She would get it though it though. She was good at putting a smile on her face when she did not want too, for even if she bore her husband's name, she knew she was a Black at heart still.

And she could do this.

As the two of them sat down after a quick rearrangement of the seating plan, Narcissa took a sharp intake of breathe knowing this was going to be a very hard trial for her.

"So you and my most loyal Lucius have been wed a few months now."

"Yes my lord."

"You must know all of his habits – the good and the bad,"

"Yes I do," she said with a smile. When she was clearly not willing to disclose any more he looked at her as if willing her on.

"My lord I think you must allow a wife some monopoly of her husband." She said only slightly flirtatiously.

"I sit correct Mrs. Malfoy."

She wondered if she had done the right thing when she had said she was not going to tell him. Her family seem to treat him as if he was lord and master of everything he saw – for that was what they had led her to believe he was going to be someday soon. It was as if they could not and were never going to deny him.

She gave a nervous laugh and she looked across the table to where her husband sat. In fairness, he did look as if he wanted to save her but they both knew that was not likely to happen any time soon. So she had said to sit and endure as many wives had done before her and many would do after her.

But as the meal went on she found it harder and harder to stomach being next to him. She was sure she believed in pure blood rights as much as the next Slytherin, but she knew it was not in her nature to voice those opinions.

And she did not like to hear an ugly thought. The world for the youngest Black sister was a beautiful place and she did not want her world disturbed – as it was that night.

She did not think she had felt such a strong desire to run away since she had been quite small. Of course, as she was sitting next to him, there was nothing she could do but agree and bite her tongue. But she did want to run so much she could not say.

By the time they were half away through the meal, she had stopped looking for her husbands help - he was no use to her.

All she did know was if she had disapproved of the man her lord survived before she had met him, she almost detested him by the end of the meal.

As a result of the placing if the table, she did not get her chance to dazzle society with her skills before she had lead the other women into the drawing room where she could once more relax.

But whereas before the meal she had been able to look at her sister and pretend all was well between them at the end she could not.

How could she have put her through something like that when it was meant to be her evening of glory?

"Are you quite well my lady?" Emma's knowing voice asked her.

She wanted to say that yes she was fine and there was no need for worry – but she did feel a little strange...

As the night drew to a close, only Bella and Rod remained with the two Malfoy's. A great fan fare had been made of their lord when he had left, thankfully relatively early on in the evening. Once he had gone however, the attention had turned back to the hosts of the evening and a visibly pale Narcissa had been the cause of many others leaving the party early.

She felt weak; she felt tired; and she felt as if she had utterly failed in her duty.

"You knew what tonight was going to mean to me Bella – why did you ask him to be here? The man I have chosen not to serve?" she said to her wilfully. She found now she was a wife she was tired of being the little sister.

Little Cissy.

"I did it due to the fact you are the only one who does not serve him and I think it is time you see the error of your ways."

"I feel as if you destroyed everything I worked so hard for tonight, " she knew she not rage at her in front of the men but at the same time she had been quiet as long as she was able to be.

"It was not my intention – my intention was to show my lord how much we honour him."

"Well, I do not and he is not my lord!"

Lucius did not think he had ever seen his beloved in such opening rebellion against her sister who had only too often been as a mother to her.

"You are upsetting yourself," He told her as his usual pristine wife broke out in a sweat. He crossed the room to be with her at her side but before he got there she feel to the ground, clutching her stomach.

"What is it?" asked Rod.

Kneeling down, Lucius took his wife, who was clearly in agony, in his arms. His eyes rose only when his father, intrigued by the commotion came into the room. Abraxas, genuinely fond of his daughter in law came down to her level too. Bella and Rod stood by the three Malfoy's, their faces awash with worry.

"Narcissa, what's wrong?" Bella asked, looking to Rod to give her an answer to the question she had asked her sister who was in no fit state to offer her one herself.

Narcissa felt her husband hands on her and she knew now why she had been unable to bring herself to tell him she was with child – because there was not going to be a child after all. Lucius was talking to her, she could hear him but he seemed so far away.

"I am so sorry," she croaked out as she held on to her stomach as if it was going to save the life of the child inside of it. She had not meant for this to happen - not tonight. Not any night. No matter what anyone would say about her in the future only being hungry or society, and for putting her child at risk, she had wanted the baby that had been in side of her so much.

She had wanted it more than anything. More than she had ever wanted anything.

Falling in to her husband's eyes she felt herself mercifully black out.

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	24. Loss

**Chapter 24**

When she woke up for a moment, Cissy forgot all that had gone on and for her it was just going to be another happy day spent; like every day nearly since she had been wed.

And then she remembered.

She remembered the terror of the night she had spent at Tom Riddles side; she remembered how she had felt when she had seen her sisters face. And she recalled how she had had the first chance to secure the Malfoy heir; and how she had lost it.

The succession was not yet a fixed question.

But it was not the heir she regretted but the child; the baby she would never hold; the first steps she would never see; the first words she was never going to hear. She had lost her baby. Her first baby.

Opening her eyes she saw the curtains were drawn and darkness swapped the room. The hope which had been in her was utterly extinguished.

She had so much hope...

She'd been...

Her eyes wondered to the chair and she saw her husband was sitting there. He had a look of great frustration and confusion on his face as if he had no idea what was going on. He was a fix it man - and so to come up against something that he could not fix terrified him.

He had not changed out of dress robes yet. There something so unconfident about him – something very unLuciuslike.

"Cissy." He said as she came round.

He did not rush to her side as he might have done before though. There was something about him that said to her he was too numb to do so.

She did not think there had ever been an atmosphere such as this between them and the only thing she knew was she did not like it. She, who had lived her life by her duty, felt as if she had failed twice in so many days and in the worse ways possibly. Her heart sank, already broken, in her chest.

Her husband did not look at her and she had no idea what to say. The two of them should be together she knew – they should be a comfort for one another. But he was not allowing that to be.

Would he really be so angry with her? Did he, god forbid, blame her for the loss of the child who she had longed for so much.

"You don't ask what was wrong Cissy."

"I do not have too. I know we have lost the baby." He nodded and let out a heavy defeated sigh.

"When did you find out?"

"Find out what?"

"That you were with child?"

"I don't know," she said as she shook her head. "Perhaps two weeks, a little less."

As soon as she had said the words she saw the burden that was on her beloveds shoulder gets a little heavier. It was then that she begun to understand it was not so much the miscarriage but the lack of warning it could happen he resented.

It was not as if he had had any time to get used to the idea he was going to be a father. And thus he felt as if he had nothing to mourn.

He could not share in her pain. Something which had never had had been robbed of him. She saw how much he could not stand it in his eyes.

She felt as if she had to go to him but she knew she was still too weak, too tired from the night before. Yet she wanted to hold his hand so much.

"Did I lose a lot of blood?"

"Yes – I do not suppose you will feel quite yourself for some time. It is going to take a while for you to get your strength back." He confirmed quietly.

"Will you not hold me husband?"

His eyes turned up to look at her and she felt them burn through her. There was a longing and an anger. He didn't have to say no.

"We said there would never be secrets – not between the two of us, not of this kind. I thought we were a new, different type of pureblood. A Malfoy renaissance. No secretaries for mistresses, no using money to fill the hole," he said, the words seeming to come more from his bruised heart than his head. "I cannot hold you because I do not know this Cissy who would keep the news we were to be parents from me."

"I only did not tell you due to the fact I think I knew in my heart we were not going to be allowed him. That child was not ours to hold – I wanted to protect you..." she said as she let a tear fall on to her cheek sending a shiver through her body.

"It is my job to protect you not the other way round," he said as his bruised masculine pride emerged.

"I am still me my love."

But still he did not move to go to her side and she felt the hole in her own heart like the one he had just described.

It felt as if it was going to get bigger and bigger by the second.

He shook his head. "The two of us should not speak to one another thusly yet – the pain is still too great for you. I am so very sorry you lost the child; I know it was not your fault but mine for letting that man into this house... even so, I would have had us love the little boy... or girl. No blame will be put at your feet and we are both young and healthy still, or you will be when you feel better. There will be son for us."

She nodded for she knew it was indeed the truth. One miscarriage was not going to make them think twice about the pledge they had made to one another. But already she was fearful that it had made him question who she was. If she had felt she was at liberty to tell him they were going to have a child then he had to know she would have.

And she was not going to be the little women to protect his ego all of the time. She saw the lonely child he had been when he had been young for he had let her when they had been on honeymoon and she was going to try and protect him if she felt the need too. And that was just going to be something he was going to have to reconcile himself with. She was going to be there for him.

The thoughts in both their heads were so loud that as long as they were together then neither of them was going to be able to think straight. But she did not want him to leave her – no that was the last thing in the world that she wanted. She did not think she had ever needed him as much as she did then.

But for the first time since they had been wed she got the impression that he wanted to flee from her side. And her heart was broken for the second time in twenty four hours.

Knowing that he was there in body and not mind, or heart for that matter, she gathered the strength to turn away from him in the bed as the tears she had not yet shed begun to pour down her face. She had not wanted him to see – and if he did not want to be there then she did not want to make him stay.

Just as she did not seem like his Narcissa to her, Lucius was not the man she knew then. The Lucius she knew was kind and loving. Yet in that moment he had felt so cruel. She didn't understand it.

It was only when she heard him shut the door behind him that she gave in to her tears and let them glow like a river.

Abraxas found his son in the study. He had to say he had been hard pressed to feel sorry for his daughter in laws once he had found out that she had been with child. There was nothing he desired in the world he wanted more to see his estate settled before he passed on to be with his fore fathers.

But for Lucius he did feel sorry. He was not and he was never going to be now the most affectionate father in the world but he had always cared for his boy. Going over to the drinks cabinet it was not long before he had poured out two fire whiskeys. If he had been in his sons situation, a stiff drink would be what he wanted.

"You know, it is not an easy life son, you have always known that. But I wish this was one sorrow you did not have to endure my boy." He said as he slapped him on the shoulder.

Lucius looked up with what he thought were going to be cold eyes – but they were not - they were just sad. There was so much sadness in his eyes.

He had not yet had to face a challenge so great, a sorrow so raw.

"Thank you father." he mumbled as he took the glass the elder man offered.

"How is your wife this morning?"

"I think she is very sad – as am I."

"As are we all."

The two of them did not talk to one another about feelings for neither thought it was manly. It was just not the way Abraxas had brought his son up.

But he did not want the boy to bottle this up. It would do him no good whatsoever. He knew his son and he could see the subtle anger that was bubbling in him.

"For how long did she know?" he asked knowing that that was going to be the route of the problem for his son.

They might be an old family but they were not monsters. Not always... they could not seriously blame the girl for this.

"Two weeks perhaps – she said she felt that maybe it was not going to be ours to keep and that was why she did not think to tell me I was going to be a father. But what use now?" he said as he downed the fire whisky he had been given, enjoying the burning sensation as it trickle down his throat. A distraction from the pain in his heart for that was the pain he did not think he was ever going to be able to deal with.

He was young – but by god he would have been a good father to that boy. For in his head it was a boy he and his wife had lost – a boy with her eyes...

"I want to go out – I want to go hunting," he said as his mind turned to the stables. If he had ever been any kind of husband then he knew he would have stayed at the side of his wife but he knew at that moment he could not.

He could not. He had to get out – he had to get some heir.

Abraxas knew better than to tell him to go back to his wife when he was in such a mood. They were both going to have to grieve for their child in the way that they could. And he did not want the two of them to row. Not now.

Regardless of what had gone on he knew the two of them had a long road to walk together. They both had to be prepared to do it.

{}{}{}

The next days were unbearable for the young mistress of the Malfoy manor. She wondered if she had had the courage to tell her husband that she was going to have a child, if she would indeed still be having it. Something in her told her it was just not meant to be. But if that was the case then why did she conceive in the first place?

No, she did not think she was going to be able to give a lot of stock to that argument for a lot longer. It did not make a lot of sense when she thought it through.

But she knew what she was finding hardest about the whole thing was her husband did seem to be coming back around to her in a hurry. In fact, where the two of them had spent so much time together since they had been man and wife it was now as if he did not think he could stand to be in the same room as her. Just when she needed him...

And that was what she was missing the most. The time when the two of them had shut the door and by so doing shut the world out. She wanted the two of them to do that again.

She knew she had enjoyed the time that the two of them had spent together but as she looked back on it she did not think she had realised just how much she had come to – god forbid, **love** him – in such a short space of time.

He was the best friend she had ever had and she had thought he had had a good understanding about who she was. But now she begun to doubt all she had believed since she had been wed.

She had thought she had had a pretty near perfect marriage so it had come as a shock to her that it was not even close to it. She doubted any marriage was per feet now.

She did not know why this was happening to them. All she could do was hope they were going to get on track soon because she did not think she was very good on her own. In fact she knew she was not – she had always enjoyed her peace but she liked to have people she was emotional attached to about her and she did not think she could understand who did were not.

As soppy as she knew it was, she did believe the life you lived was about the ones you loved – and that belief was even strong than the ones she held about blood purity.

She was sure if he was with her more than she might feel her strength back quicker than if she was left to it on her own. But he had decided to with draw from her completely it seemed.

The only real time she got to see him was when they were with his father.…

He did not even come to her bed at night. He had taken up another set of chamber when she had had the miscarriage and she did not think he was eager to return to the room they shared. Or at least that was the way he was behaving; it was the only conclusion she could draw.

"Emma," she said as she looked out of the window, having heard the older women come into the room.

"Yes?" she said as she came up behind her. She did not think she had ever seen Cissy look so sorry for herself – not even when she had lost her mother.

"What should I do to win Lucius back?"

Emma felt her rage bubble under her. Yes, she did think Narcissa had been a fool when she had not told him they were going to be parents. But at the same time she could see what her young master was doing to his wife and when she had just suffered the loss of a child. And she could not for the life of her condone it.

Putting her hand on the shoulder of the young girl, she nevertheless remained silent. There was no advice she could give her. She had never been married and so she had never been at liberty to anger her lord. Had she, then she knew she would have been a short step from getting thrown out.

But she was the elder of the two and even if she had not had a child on her own then she did still have maternal feelings – and they did extend to the young girl who stood before her with an utterly broken heart.

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	25. A Question

**Chapter 25**

In an attempt to recoil the young couple, Abraxas did not think it would be a bad idea if they were to go away for a while on their own and he thought the place where they should go would be back to Germany. The pair of them had been so happy when they had been there.

What they both needed was to find a way back there, to the time when their love was fresh and unspoiled. The two of them had been more in love than he had ever thought they would be even if they were not willing to say the word. But then he knew he was being too optimistic.

The most they were going to be able to do would be to remember how they had felt when they had been there for no matter how much they wanted to they were not going to be able to get back to how they had been there truly. The past was gone.

But the two of them were bound together and they were going to be for the rest of their lives, so they were going to have to come to an agreement if they were going to be happy together once more.

"Since I have been wed, I have missed far too much time off work to take Narcissa off now," his son said to him when he suggested gently that he might want to go away with his wife for a while.

"Lucius, if you will not go under your own steam then I will order you to do so. As you have said, we have coped perfectly well since you have been married. You taking a few days to grieve with your wife is not going to bring the company crashing down about our ears." He said as he raised his eye brows.

He had seen his son trying to push away the suggestion but he was not going to let him do so it for his own peace of mind. He did not know why but since the girl had been his son's wife and part of their family, he had got obsessed with the idea things had to be settled with the future of the estate and the dynasty secure.

If he had to displease his son to get that aim, then he was going too.

Lucius looked at him and he knew for a moment he was considering arguing, but the boy knew the look on his face only too well from his childhood and he knew there was no point in doing so.

His father had the idea in his head and that was what he had to do now.

The only good thing about it was it _was_ going to get him away from his father.

()()()()

Narcissa sat in her drawing room with a book, dressed in a simple cotton black gown, her hair uncommonly left down. She had not had the energy of the patience to put it up that day. Grief was such a strange thing.

It was not so long since she had been mourning her dear mother – in fact, she still was. Yet in some ways, the largely unspoken grief she had for her child was worse for she felt as if she had no one to share it with. Her husband was so far away from her and her sister, she was beginning to think, did not have a maternal bone in her body. She would never understand what she was going through.

And so she was on her own with her grief – and she did not even have fond memories to comfort herself as she had when she had lost her mama.

It was so quiet all the time in her head and it broke her again and again.

She had thought of writing to Izzy, or to Chris, but they would not know how she felt and so what good would they be to her?

No, she just had to try and deal with what she was feeling on her own the very best she could.

She had been sitting there for quite some time when there was a knock on her door.

"Enter," she said her eyes not straying from the window where she had been looking.

"Wife."

The velvety voice that greeted her ears made her long for his touch. But neither were going to run in to one another's arms as they had done in the past.

He looked at her as if she was quiet different to the women he had wed.

She knew when she had held her tongue as she much as she had of late; things had changed between the two of them.

"My lord," she nodded, the strict formality keeping the barriers she had hoped never would be between them up.

"My father has come to me today and he had requested that the two of go away for a while together – he think it would be good idea for you to recuperate in Germany."

She nodded. She was not quite sure what she thought to that. She had been so happy when the two of them had been there before - she thought to go back there would only make the grief she felt more intense as well as taint the happy memories which existed there.

"We'll leave tomorrow if that is agreeable to you," He said and she nodded.

She knew if he and Abraxas had cooked this up together then there was going to be precious little she would be able to say or do to get out of it. And she did not have the energy too try...

And maybe if Lucius was reminded of a time when the two of them had been so happy together he might be more inclined to forgive her for what she had done.

Perhaps the two of them might even conceive...

"Of course – I will get the house elves to pack for the two of us." She said to him and he nodded.

When he had said what he had come to say he had thought that he was just going to leave straight away but he did not. He could not turn from the room or from her.

It was as if he was trying to find some words to say to her.

Something to make it slightly better.

But his presence there was making her feel awkward as if she was meant to say something to him.

She had been about to say something when he turned to her. "Cissy," he sighed. In his eyes, she could see his grief. But so consumed was she by her own she did not think she was yet able to comfort him.

It was so hard when the two of them had been so close to be so far apart and it made her want to cry for both of them as well as the beloved child they had both lost.

"I am going to give you a son – a son to keep for our own for all eternity," she said to him and he sighed. He seemed to lose his own train of though.

"I want you to know – I want to say again I do not blame you for what we lost."

She nodded – she had known it to be the truth but it did help to hear.

"Will you not come back to our room? Back to our bed?"

"You are still weak after you ordeal, you need to rest. As soon as your health returns, so will I," he said to her as he turned to the door, only to turn back.

Once more he had the look on his face that said there was something which he felt was unsaid between the two of them – but then, of course, there was. There were a million and one things that the two were yet to say to each other.

Walking back over to her he bent down – for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her on the lips – but he settled for her forehead.

Reaching up she caressed his cheek, enjoying the first moment of affection between the two of them since they had had such great misfortune.

"We are going to leave tomorrow," he said to her once more before he turned from her and walked away. Yet for the first time in a long time she had hope in her heart that things were going to go well for the two of them eventually.

()()()()()

Narcissa, unlike the first time she had been to Germany, did not pack all her fine jewels and her pretty dresses. When they had been there it had been ball after ball, trip after trip, the opera...

She was going there this time to get over the death of her baby and so she was not going to twirl and dance as she had with her husband beforehand.

Simple gowns of mourning were packed in to her trunks. She wondered how she was meant to mourn something which had never belonged to her.

Walking into the lodge she saw someone had had the good sense prepare for her and their lord arrival. The fires were lit. It was warm and inviting, or would be if she felt Lucius wanted to be there. Now the two of them had left though she found that she was once more questioning whose idea it had been to go away together. She did not think it had been her husband's.

No, she got the feeling that he wanted to be at home with Rod so that he might go and hunt and go to Death Eaters meetings and let his anger at the world out that way. Not sit away with her while she grieved in her own quiet way which she did not think was good for him.

He was a quiet storm and he had been since they had met. And if things got too quiet then he was bound to blow a foul wind she thought.

Nevertheless, now they were there was nothing else to do but get on with it even if she knew she was not going to be a lot of company for him.

Removing her fur lined cloak she looked around her and put it on the sofa.

The last time she had been here she had been the happiest she had ever been in her entire life. And now she was the most desperate.

"I am going to change," said her husband and he left the room and so her alone.

()()()()

It seemed to Lucius nothing had changed from when they were in England to when they were in Germany. The child was dead and she had still kept the knowledge they were going to be parents from him.

He had thought she had been more honest than anyone else in the world.

As the week grew on the two of them still found different ways to occupy their days. And when they went to bed at night they slept on the other side of the bed. No touching – and the lack of affection disturbed Narcissa greatly.

If he did not touch her then how was she meant to conceive again and heal the rift that had come between them.

As the nights of their holiday drew on it was not as if Narcissa did not try to persuade her husband to come to her as he had when they had been besotted by one another. But he said she was still to unwell, even when she did not feel it.

"Please say I am repugnant to you if that is the truth for I am not so ill anymore," she said after her attempts to seduce her husband had once more failed. She got out of the bed. She would go to another room that night rather than be treated as a leper in her marital bed. She would not let him do that to her.

"You are not repugnant in the least to me – don't be ridiculous."

But to her it did not feel as if she was being ridiculous. It was a very real fear.

"Don't talk to me as if I am a child," she said as she put on her dressing gown.

She remembered when they had fought over Chris. It seemed so trivial now and she wished she was back there.

"Get back in to the bed," said her husband softly but she shook her head.

"I do not know how to do this. I do not know how I am meant to please you and grieve the loss of the child!" she said as she felt the tears well in her eyes.

She knew there was always going to be a hole in her heart.

As much as she loved her husband and any other children they may or may not have together, he was not going to be enough for her. He was not going to heal that for her.

Not when he was being cold and aloof. He could only soothe and repair her with the tenderness she knew he was capable of.

Knowing he was still being too distant, he reached out for her. As the time had gone on he had begun to think that things were as they were and he had to accept it. Yes, she had kept something from him but that had only reaffirmed to him that his wife was very human whereas he had been looking at her as if she had been a saint which no women was. It had been cruel of him to think of her as such as she would never match up.

"All you have to do is grieve the baby," he said to her but he knew that was not going to help her.

The thing she could do to help him would be to be who she had been in his eyes but that was not going to happen.

As she looked at him, he wondered what she was thinking and how he was meant to help her.

"When we get home this is going to make a lot more sense and we are going to be able to work it all out."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Don't you understand? We came here to work it out Lucius! Or at least I thought that was the point of us going away together! This is not a question of whether or not I was right or not to tell you about the baby anymore and nor is it a question of how hurt we both are over the lost of it - not anymore."

"So what is this damn question?" he blurted out in frustration.

"Love, Lucius – if we can find a way through this and love one another as we always have... for I have always loved you."

For the first time since they had got there, she knew she had got through to him. Ever since the two of them had started their courtship she had so rarely been the one to talk of love to him. She knew now as she looked back that maybe that had been a little cruel. But there was nothing she could do to take back the way she had been now. And she knew she would not be different for if she had then she new she might never have loved him or had him to herself. And maybe it was better to have loved as they had for one sun lit season than to have never known one another at all.

Knowing she had got through to him did provide her some happiness but it was not enough. And she knew she had to now give him time to think of what he wanted. She knew what she did. She wanted what she had always wanted. For the two of them to love one another forever.

"Goodnight husband." She said as she left the room and shut the door hoping when she opened it again it would be her Lucius who was waiting for her on the other side.

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